Parent and carers of anxious teens(part 6)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Another thread full!!
For anyone new,these threads started as my D's had crippling anxiety in year 8( and was later diagnosed ASD)now about to start 6th form in September we have been running this quite a while!
This is a safe space to discuss the overwhelm that can engulf us,seek advice and find friendship with others in a similar position.
Please note this is a non judgemental space and respect and care of each other is at the centre of what we are here for.
Whether you want to vent and run,or hang around a while,welcome!

@DarkChocHolic , I cant imagine how painful this is for you.
I hope you can source the support DD needs.
Look after yourself and
I hope you get some sleep tonight.
Remember this isn't your fault. [Flowers]

@DarkChocHolic I hope the increased support is helping.

Thinking of you @DarkChocHolic

How's everyone doing as Christmas approaches?
Are your DC food with it,or not?
Dd2 stresses she might "ruin the day"
Lil zoo is indifferent in many ways,you cannot buy surprises and us annoyed knows exactly what's coming!!
Ds is unsettled by changes routine/school being different last week if term etc,fretting about going back throughout the holidays

We try to keep routines virtually the same
Mealtimes don't change timings etc
Bedtimes are still in place as they do not thrive left to open devices regarding regulating enough sleep and staying in patterns of sleep that don't bother others(is up all night be noisy/want sleep all day)

I'm tired
Things are a LOT right now

Nice to hear from you zoo, I'm sorry you have so much going on. Juggling everything is draining.

How are things @darkchocholic ? Been thinking of you.

I tested positive for covid yesterday so am in pyjamas off work trying to rest in the hope I get better quickly.
Was feeling stressed beforehand with all the juggling. I think I am mostly prepped for Xmas apart from food shop and some presents to wrap.
DD ( 20) used to really hate surprises, really needed to know what her presents were, when she's was diagnosed with autism it was a lightbulb moment. In the past year or so as shes got older shes a "bit" more relaxed about it.
I will still be doing several variants of Xmas Dinner to cope with all my fussy eaters/ vegans and vegetarians!
DD 16 is a bit anxious about the extra socialising but other than that enjoys Christmas as long as she can retreat to her room whenever she needs too.

I'm still waiting for answers from our LA about if DD can sit some exams in 2025 as not enough time to allocated to cover curriculum. Got another " update" on Friday to say there was " no update" ! Beyond frustrating and the uncertainty is badly impacting DD.

@Stilllivinginazoo sorry to hear you have so much on your plate. I hope you are able to find some moments to rest and recharge.

@Runnerduck34 hope you get better soon. Good luck with the LA.

Things are ok here although not great! I hope one day to be able to say that things are wonderful and mean it! But as my name says ok is enough right now. We've done UCAS and are now looking forward to the end of term. I have done most of the important xmas gifts but have yet to tackle food shopping. DC generally enjoys Christmas and has no problems with the food so that's a positive. Christmas won't be too busy so am looking forward to having a lot of downtime which I think we all need.

@DarkChocHolic have also been thinking of you and hope things are a bit better.

I hope everyone is as ok as they can be..
@Okisenough i agree and I find your username inspiring now. Ok is indeed enough at the moment. I hope you and the family get the downtime to rest and recharge.

@Stilllivinginazoo I empathise with the Christmas stresses and the lack of routine. I hope despite it all you and DC have an enjoyable one.

@Runnerduck34 sorry you have covid. Hope you are not feeling too rubbish. How frustrating about the "no update" re exams. I hope you have better news early in the new year.

Thanks to everyone for thinking of us. It means a lot.
We are going through a myriad of emotions. DD seems so up and down.
The ups are eerily scary (almost artificial) and the downs are heartbreaking.
The home visits really swing depending on who comes to see her. Some of the staff wind her up and some really lift her!
We have had a range of diagnosis thrown at us like borderline personality disorder, attitude issues, PMD, ADHD etc,.
We were meant to have a review with crisis and camhs teams but they cancelled it after we reached the venue!
They all agree she needs support and urgently. But with the holidays looming, I doubt anything will happen.
In the meantime, I am trying to seek private diagnosis of ADHD/ASD.
She ticks a lot of the boxes for impulsive ADHD (she pierced her own ears with a sewing needle from the garage 2 days after hospital discharge!)
She says she wants to not be sad and wants to go to school but couldn't face school for more than an hour today.
I hope I can find the will power to be calm, consistent and positive.
Failing miserably at that.
But atleast its 2 weeks of no school so one less thing to stress about.

Take care everyone.
xx

@DarkChocHolic can you speak to the home treatment team about visits and where possible sending those who DD has a better rapper with. I would be strongly pushing back against any talk of diagnosing borderline personality disorder before a comprehensive assessment for ASD/ADHD. Many ND women are misdiagnosed with BPD when the real issue is they are ND (typically ASD, but can be ADHD as well or instead).

@Okisenough well done on getting the UCAS form submitted. What is DD wanting to study? (Feel free not to answer.)

@Runnerduck34 hope you are feeling better soon.

@Stilllivinginazoo we carry on with a structured routine, too. DSs can’t cope otherwise. Luckily, they will all eat at least part of a roast dinner.

runner get well soon
Bounce will Lego be featuring on Xmas gifts this year?(I remember it being a popular thing in your house previously)
,ok username is very appropriate,life has so many seasons/chapters and some bits are just about clinging to glimmers of hope <and that's ok>
Dark sending love and support
We are here for you

@Stilllivinginazoo you know my DC well! Lego will be featuring. DS1&3 have a set each for their main presents and DD2 has a smaller set as part of her presents. Is your DS getting any?

Not this year,he's struggling to find sets he wants @1bounceforward2back
He's given a big list of books and wants a camera

It's his birthday(18)on Monday!
Wants doc martens but we have agreed to get in January as he will need to come and try them on/let me feel they fit and he won't cope with how busy shops are currently

How is everyone? Hope DS had a great birthday Zoo
@DarkChocHolic how are you and DD?
Im finally getting back to normal after covid and now running round like headless chicken with Christmas Prep, DD has some therapy appointments during school holidays - which I fought for- but selfishly Im now regretting it as too much to fit in!!
Happy Christmas everyone 🌲

Glad you are feeling better runner
I'm not ready,house tip and kids are restless with routines be slightly off/everywheres busier etc

Hope you get some time to yourself over Xmas to recharge

Sending greetings and love to everyone here for the festive period
If you need us,or have good or bad stuff yo share do check in xx

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!
Hope you get some time to put feet up and relax.

Xx

How's everyone doing?
Hope yesterday went ok
We don't aim for perfect or wonderful anymore- too many variables
We celebrate the small wins
Lil zoo is beside herself with her electric piano
Dd2 made it thru day without a huge meltdown,did have some fits of giggles playing post lunch bingo out of christmas crackers
D's was agitated but did join in(despite a bit of attitude)and also was really fun playing bingo

Evening was another matter once they were tired and overwhelmed but I will take that❤️

Ds and lil zoo have been out today to see new studio Ghibli film with their dad so dd2 and I had not quiet time together
She bought me some lovely things to encourage me time(paint by numbers and brushes and some candles)and a card game we can play together

D's is now starting to rev about returning to school(goes back on 3rd).....

I have not posted before. DS1 is autistic but his overwhelming presentation is anxiety, social but he is housebound, but life intrudes. I had bought him the Oppenheimer DVD as a present but 40 mins in and it stopped playing. He diagnosed a 'narly' scratch. We all held our breath and mentally rehearsed talk downs. But he coped!

Welcome pocketsand
Aw,well done D's!
It can be awful when something you know might set them off occurs,that awful breath holding moment waiting to see how it's going to play out!

Just noticed only got 8 posts left(7after this one)
Just created a new thread,I am rubbish at techno al stuff so if anyone can link please do and I will see you on thread 7 xxxx

Adding link to new thread
Parents and carers of anxious teens(part 7) | Mumsnet

@Stilllivinginazoo
Glad to hear Christmas went well.
Hope you got some time to yourself too.

@pocketsand
Welcome and sorry you are here.
I have found this thread to be a helpful venting space.
Feel free to reach out to share and moan...
We are all in the same boat
Xx

Thanks for the link dark chocolate