Parent and carers of anxious teens(part 6)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Another thread full!!
For anyone new,these threads started as my D's had crippling anxiety in year 8( and was later diagnosed ASD)now about to start 6th form in September we have been running this quite a while!
This is a safe space to discuss the overwhelm that can engulf us,seek advice and find friendship with others in a similar position.
Please note this is a non judgemental space and respect and care of each other is at the centre of what we are here for.
Whether you want to vent and run,or hang around a while,welcome!

Thanks. I managed to convince him to go to school and told him his nan would be here to look after me.
The little 2 weren't nearly as worried about me as he was 😆 they only cared about if they could see my "pee bag" little grotbags.

Hello everyone, we are( thankfully)enjoying the sunny weather zoo, but I know hot weather can make DC cranky.
We are still waiting for tribunal decision 21 days and counting.....
DD has managed her SALT appointment today- hooray!

I'm sorry you are in hospital yourroyalhappiness, I hope you get well soon and DS has a good day at school, we too have previously resorted to bribery to get DD but tbh with very limited success. My DD needed a complete change of placement. Thankfully nearly summer holidays and no more daily school pressure so hope that brings some relief.

Welcome doubleshot-
this thread offers wonderful support.
Feel free to post for support or just to vent anytime.

I'm sorry @atyourroyalhappiness you've been in hospital. I hope you recover quickly & your Ds is reassured you're alright.
We're on day 11 of halving DS's Escitalopram dose. DS is starting to cook again. Homemade Brownies & a steak for breakfast 🤔. He announced that he wanted a summer job this morning. He's still very up & down though, with good days & bad days. At least he's starting to leave his room a bit. Plus he lets the dog out for a wee in the early morning.

Or @heroyalhappiness even 😂

@Cantonet leaving his room more is progress,and looking forward(summer job) even briefly,is still a good sign.x

@Cantonet sounds like he's making progress which is good. Even if the summer job turns out just to be a fleeting idea, he's actually thought about getting out there and doing it which is an encouraging sign.

DS is much happier now I'm home. He won't let me do anything, making me cups of tea, bringing me water, cleaning etc. He's currently ignoring his friends calling him though so I know he's had it tough as usually he answers to his best friend and he hasn't even answered to her.

Welcome doubleshotcappuccino.

HerRoyalHappiness sorry to hear you aren’t well and DS1 is struggling to cope with that, too. I hope the neurology appt. is soon.

Cantonet even if DS doesn’t manage a summer job considering it in the first place is a step forward.

Runner I hope you hear from SENDIST soon.

Zoo DS1 hates the heat and fan noise, he becomes even more anxious. I have been try to feed him crisps, sports drinks and sodium tablets all day otherwise because of his medical condition he turns into a sobbing, angry monster.

That sounds very hard @1twirlforward2back
Ds won't normally touch ice-cream(hates how cold it is!)but I convinced him to have a little tonight with fridge cold grapes in top.he needs reminding to drink as doesn't get good thirst cues.he drinks by time(breakfast,1030,lunch,4pm,dinner,10pm)but in hot weather is scared getting I'll so listens if I say have another drink.hes sad can't play PS4 but it adds to the heat of his room dreadfully,which knock on effects rest of the house and no one likes being hot in here.dd2 gets very hot when anxious so she's being triggered by her brain confusing hot and anxious.
She's also upset as got a c in part one a level sociology mock.i had told her the end game was making it there and having a go,but she extremely critical of herself if feels "failed"she had hoped at least a high b☹️,and that exam was once she felt went best,coupled with her cohorts from school went bowling last night.they ask if everyone was accounted for on group chat and she said about going.wasistly ignored as they talked uni and plans for a picnic today leaving her feeling very much they never really were good friends after all
Had chat continence nurse regard lil zoo.they withdrawing soon as she's refusing meds saying they add to pain etc and they said it the aim was meds to regulate predictable bowel movent this reduce anxiety about needing to go at school...she never had a particular time to go so they feel it's more psychological.
I also spoke her camhs worker who painted very different picture lil zoo had told her of things- that she has lots friends,but chooses not to do things outside of school with them,enjoys family walks and photo taking and hasn't pick fingers since february.i said her friends are more acquaintance as she doesn't build connections,rarely answers messages etc.family walks she wears headphones,loud music and ignores us.plus she tuts and walks off when the others stop to take photos.and she has cut,last time in may.
They said plan this week will be talk about what friendships mean to her alongside talking about toilet issues.she shut that down last time and as first visit she wanted build rapport but will be firmer this week,and will ring me in the afternoon to give overview of plans without breaking confidentiality.best I can hope for really as she doesn't want us in there

I'm sorry @Zoo & @Twirl your DD/DS's are suffering in this hot weather. There are some quieter tower fans on Amazon but sadly they're more expensive than the bog standard ones.
DS is doing a trial day on Sunday for a job in a cafe. They're looking for a permanent Sunday person and it sounds perfect for him. It's a backroom job, which is all the better and will hopefully give him some confidence. Let's hope they like him 🤞

Fingers crossed cantonet

Zoo I hope CAMHS goes well and DD2 can start to build some friendships with her current year.

DS’s aren’t too bad at eating ice cream. DS1 has Oatly’s chocolate fudge or strawberry. One of your’s is milk free aren’t they? What do they have? DS1&3 don’t get thirst or hunger cues either. Reminding to drink is always difficult.


Cantonet I hope the trial goes well. We have supposed quiet fans, but DS1 is so noise sensitive he still struggles with them. It doesn’t help he doesn’t like the feel of noise cancelling headphones or ear defenders.

Thank you @HerRoyalHappiness .
Are you feeling better?

I'm still in a lot of pain and still numb down below. But TMI I've had a bowel movement now, I was worried I'd have to go back as its the first since Saturday.
I can feel inside my bum so I felt the urge to push, but I can't make the muscles contract.
I've chased up neuro, they said it's gone through triage so I should hear within the next week. Hopefully soon then I can find out what's happening with this catheter.

That sounds difficult @HerRoyalHappiness
@Cantonet hope the trial goes well.
@1twirlforward2back strawberry oatly sounds lovely!lil zoo has Swedish glace vanilla.dd2 is trialling a vegan Ben and Jerry's at mo which has brownie bits it which apparently is nice.

I had word today..DS HAS BEEN AWARDED PLACEMENT AT CHOSEN SCHOOL❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

HerRoyalHappiness Has Cauda Equina been ruled out?

Zoo I am so pleased the LA have named the school. It will be worth it even though it will be difficult to begin with and take a while to settle, and it will different as a SS.

DS1 can’t eat Swedish Glacé or Ben and Jerry’s as he can’t have soya or peanuts/tree nuts. I was on the look out for a cheaper alternative to Oatly I could try to tempt DS1 to switch to, it’s rather expensive and our food bills are astronomical.

Congratulations on DS's placement Zoo - fantastic news!

Twirl - hope your shoulder is getting better

One of the perks of my job is easy access to the type of cooling treat mentioned in your posts - very welcome in this weather (though not so good for my middle-aged waistline!)

zoo that's fab news about the placement

twirl yeah it's been ruled out. Although with how hectic A and E was it wouldn't surprise me if they had made a mistake and I'm risking paralysis with every movement.

Amazing news, @Stilllivinginazoo about the school placement, sleep soundly tonight - you have done so well! I really hope it works out in the new school.

muddling I am envious of your job, but my waist line isn’t - I need to lose a couple of stone as it is. My shoulder is feeling slightly better, thank you. I have a physio appointment tomorrow.

Zoo- that's fantastic news! Really pleased for you, you deserve some luck! I hope DS gets on well and enjoys it.

Cantonet, I hope the trial goes well, sounds like there's some positive progress.

Happiness, I hope you are better soon and get the answers and treatment you need, it sounds like you are going through a lot.

@Zoo brilliant news. Things are looking up for you hopefully .
DS needed some summer clothes, so we braved the mixed changing rooms at h&m. He's changed size this year due to the Escitalopram & also buying really baggy clothes to hide away in. Ds2 has all his new/old clothes ( cast offs) in the smaller sizes.I think he's already lost a bit of weight & will hopefully lose more.
It's also the first day of no more Escitalopram. I hope he doesn't have any side effects.

@HerRoyalHappiness you sound remarkably sanguine under the circumstances.

I've had fun and games. I need more catheter bags. When I was discharged from the hospital I was told to phone my GP for more. So I did. Only they said they didn't have the letter to get me more and I needed to phone A&E back.
So I do. They said no, it's district nurse you need to call.
So I call them and they say no they don't deal with catheters anymore and I've to phone A&E back.
So I phoned A&E back and they said I had to get someone to go collect some from the hospital 3.5 miles away... when I don't drive, nor does my mum who's been taking care of me.
They also can't tell me what's happening with the trial without catheter clinic and they can't tell me when I'll see neuro about the numbness.
So yeah. That's a bag of wank.

DS is already stressing about his dad this weekend. He is meant to play online with him every week and he decided last week he wasn't going to bother, when I was in hospital, when DS needed the distraction more. So now DS is wondering if his dad will keep his promise.

Happiness- that's awful- really frustrating and badly organised, not what you need when you are feeling ill and caring for DS. I hope you get it sorted and the weekend with DSs dad goes OK, and his dad steps up.

We finally got our tribunal decision today, after over 4 weeks of waiting.
So tribunal has agreed 17 hours tuition at home as well as a OT, SALT and Art therapy. Really pleased. LA have 5 weeks to implement it, so realistically September. we asked for direct payments ( which tribunal cant rule on) so we can make sure it's implemented/ have an element of choice over providers so still work to do re setting it up but soo relieved tribunal went in our favourite

Well done on the tribunal outcome duck that's fab news.