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Elderly parents
Original poster

Why do (some) elderly complain so much?

203 replies

aneveningatthecricket · 18/06/2026 18:11

I work with elderly wealthy people. It’s very often that I sit with them and they will moan about anything and everything, the fact the pavement is not swept, their favourite coffee is no longer stocked, the wording in a letter, a phone number doesn’t get picked up quickly enough or the call can is overseas, the cleaner missed a bit of hoovering etc I could list a thousand examples.

What is it about their experiences that are SO bad. We all know they probably had the best of life compared to us younger folk, many of the women never worked or had to struggle.

I just wondered why it could be. Im always sympathetic and understanding but I really think they are so far removed from life today that they really have nothing to complain about. They could all pay for anything they ever needed.

OP posts:
saraclara · 31/10/2026 22:12

People ignore your opinions

Ha! We're not even allowed to have them!

Crikeyalmighty · 31/10/2026 22:18

saraclara · 31/10/2026 22:09

I think being old is probably shit especially and maybe more so if this is the first time you have experienced discomfort or genuine challenges in life. A family member had a very charmed life and an amazing relationship she has not coped at all since losing it in old age.

I'm pretty horrified at how age has caught up with me over the last year. I've always been active, mobile and engaged with the world, but the last year, after hitting 70, I feel very different. I'm still relatively fortunate physically, but my body is letting me down in many ways. My eyesight, my hearing.. all the kind of things that signal deterioration that won't ever get better and that reminds you that your body has a use-by date.

That and discovering that I've had high cholesterol for at least a couple of decades, which no-one thought to tell me about, has made me quite health-anxious about what symptomless damage has been done to me.

So yes, my confidence and that kind of assumption that life as you know it will go on forever, has crashed somewhat, and my resilience is low. Time goes so fast now that when I pass a care home I see it, not as a place that other people go to, but as something that might well be in my next decade. And the last decade has gone so quickly that the next one is likely to flash by too. I can't take anything for granted any more.

I don't think this place helps either, because it's full of posters moaning about people my age, and how we're needy/not good enough grandparents/a drain on their time etc etc. And I could start to feel useless and a burden.

So yes, I'm usually a very positive person and very much not a moaner. But the scene is set for that to change if I'm not careful. And I don't really blame people in their 70s and 80s for finding life a bit miserable.

Edited

I do get you on that - I’m 65 in 6 weeks, still running a business and have always been quite a cheery resilient kind of person - but i am very conscious the years are flashing by, and I’m no longer the glam puss or particularly fit nor have the energy for club nights that my friends in their 40s have - 10 yearsago I didn’t feel an outsider with them, but now I do somewhat - I could do with some friends closer in age but not dull and boring moaners if you get what I mean

ReallyReilly · 31/10/2026 22:31

saraclara · 31/10/2026 22:09

I think being old is probably shit especially and maybe more so if this is the first time you have experienced discomfort or genuine challenges in life. A family member had a very charmed life and an amazing relationship she has not coped at all since losing it in old age.

I'm pretty horrified at how age has caught up with me over the last year. I've always been active, mobile and engaged with the world, but the last year, after hitting 70, I feel very different. I'm still relatively fortunate physically, but my body is letting me down in many ways. My eyesight, my hearing.. all the kind of things that signal deterioration that won't ever get better and that reminds you that your body has a use-by date.

That and discovering that I've had high cholesterol for at least a couple of decades, which no-one thought to tell me about, has made me quite health-anxious about what symptomless damage has been done to me.

So yes, my confidence and that kind of assumption that life as you know it will go on forever, has crashed somewhat, and my resilience is low. Time goes so fast now that when I pass a care home I see it, not as a place that other people go to, but as something that might well be in my next decade. And the last decade has gone so quickly that the next one is likely to flash by too. I can't take anything for granted any more.

I don't think this place helps either, because it's full of posters moaning about people my age, and how we're needy/not good enough grandparents/a drain on their time etc etc. And I could start to feel useless and a burden.

So yes, I'm usually a very positive person and very much not a moaner. But the scene is set for that to change if I'm not careful. And I don't really blame people in their 70s and 80s for finding life a bit miserable.

Edited

This is all so true.

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