Why do (some) elderly complain so much?

[aneveningatthecricket]

I work with elderly wealthy people. It’s very often that I sit with them and they will moan about anything and everything, the fact the pavement is not swept, their favourite coffee is no longer stocked, the wording in a letter, a phone number doesn’t get picked up quickly enough or the call can is overseas, the cleaner missed a bit of hoovering etc I could list a thousand examples.

What is it about their experiences that are SO bad. We all know they probably had the best of life compared to us younger folk, many of the women never worked or had to struggle.

I just wondered why it could be. Im always sympathetic and understanding but I really think they are so far removed from life today that they really have nothing to complain about. They could all pay for anything they ever needed.

I’m not old, but I am disabled. I have some weeks where I don’t leave the house or see anyone other than medical appointments. If a friend rings and asks what I’ve been up to, I have nothing to report. I could say “I had a neurology appointment on Monday, I had to go for bloods on Wednesday, and a breast check on Thursday” but I just say nothing because I don’t want to be that person that regales you with their appointments and says “I haven’t been out all week because I’ve been in too much pain and I haven’t had more than two hours sleep a night”. It can be very scary, boring and lonely.

It will come to most of you one day, and you might wish you’d had a bit more empathy!

I think millennials as a whole are (currently) very sympathetic to the generations coming after them (Gen Z and Alpha). I am a millennial and most people my age seem to agree that some things are difficult for us but it will be harder for the younger generations. They may have had some things slightly better but I don’t envy them.

Whereas the Gen X and Boomers I come across (generally) fixate on the things that were hard for them and ignore the things which may have been easier. Maybe millennials will change and be like this too in 20 years.

There’s also a big emphasis on mental health awareness and the ‘be kind’ mantra among these younger generations which I think also plays a part.

Depends what you mean as old! I don’t consider myself as old although I will be 70 this year. I have an active social life and certainly don’t talk/moan about my medical conditions or how hard my life is.

Could this be because your life is not hard!?

Whereas the Gen X and Boomers I come across (generally) fixate on the things that were hard for them and ignore the things which may have been easier. Maybe millennials will change and be like this too in 20 years.

You see, I find that younger people only see that boomers had cheaper housing and more stable jobs, and totally ignore the other hardships they faced, and proclaim their lives to have been “easy”.

Millennials/Gen Z see modern-day living standards, with holidays, labour-saving devices, abundant comparatively cheap food (today 11% of household income vs 26% in 1970), protections from sexual abuse in work (and indeed from your husband!), explosion in car ownership, etc and think that’s how it has always been. They (understandably) complain about lack of jobs (Boomers also did face the same challenges at times) and high house prices but fail to acknowledge that they have had the most indulged, privileged childhoods in history and lived like Kings in comparison to many boomers/silent generation.

There are pros and cons to each generation and they all should be acknowledged.

A lot of that is very true, certainly there were big pluses , free higher ed plus grants, much cheaper housing relative to earnings, far more social housing, a lot of working class towns were more vibrant even if a bit scruffy, non contrib pensions more common, overtime usually paid etc - however if I balance it up ( and I’m 64) a holiday abroad once a year wasa big deal, we never had these short breaks to centre parks, butlins etc or paid for holiday fun clubs, several of our houses didn’t have central heating all over , eating out was a birthday and wedding anniversary treat only apart from the odd drinks at littlewoods cafe , very few retired early that I knew of ( although age was lower) it was known as dropping dead, didn’t know anyone with a second home. And I came from a lower middle class home with a very high earning manual labour trade dad and mum working 12 hours week for many years.

They literally have nothing else to talk about. The world they knew is dead and gone and they've been left behind. I would feel sorry for them if they hadn't had f**cked up the world for the rest of us.

I don’t think it’s Mavis from Stoke’s fault that the world is fucked. What a nasty, ageist comment. What are you doing to improve the world for the next generation?

How, though? A baby born in, say 1953. At what age does that baby become responsible for the troubles that we have today? 15 years old? 25? 40? What could that baby do to change things?

Because that responsibility will descend on the equivalent ages today. With the same lack of logic.

Well said. I see young people doing a lot of fucking up at the moment. It's older people who pick up litter, volunteer, run committees and look after grandkids so parents can work. The ones who remember what the world was like pre internet and mobiles when people actually talked to each other and ate together.

This is all true.

The moment they're the biggest cohort ever and consistently vote for things that benefit them but make life harder for their children. They own 55% of all property in the UK but want to say our morning coffee is the reason why we can't get onto the property ladder. Their state pension is higher than maternity pay but call us selfish for waiting longer or not having children at all. We work harder and longer and receive less reward. Meanwhile whilst we're making sustainable green choices to try and stop climate change irradiating the planet we live on they stubbornly refuse to do anything because it's inconvenient to them.

What a load of absolute bollocks. I see older people making a lot more effort to be environmentally friendly than young people for a start. Who 'they'anyway? What age group are you talking about?

"They"?

It's that all of us then? I suspect that when it comes to environmentalism, you'll find that most members of your local action group will be retirees.

And I think that you'll find that most people vote in their own interests. Though I think older people are more likely to consider their children's futures when they vote, than their kids are to vote for their parents' needs.

But no one is a cohort. They’re just people. It’s hardly surprising that older people own more than younger people simply because they’ve been around longer.

I thought it was avocado toast rather than coffee? There are so many generalised grievances on your post that you are in danger of mirroring the exact attitudes that you criticise.

What you’re complaining about are international features of economic decline and increasing inequality worldwide.

The Ecology Party, the Aldermaston marches, Greenham Common, CND, the protest marches against apartheid and the National Front were all undertaken by the people you despise. It’s just not credible to state that all young people are making sustainable choices and all older people are not. Do you think that Friends of the Earth, Greenpeace, the Sea Shepherd, the Woodland Trust were all started yesterday?

Yes, I am sure each and every one of them sat down to plan how they can make the world as awful as possible for their much loved children and grandchildren.

It’s just not credible to state that all young people are making sustainable choices and all older people are not. Do you think that Friends of the Earth, Greenpeace, the Sea Shepherd, the Woodland Trust were all started yesterday?
Round here it is the older people who are the most diligent about day to day measures to help preserve our planet... they recycle grow their own veg, buy local, buy electric vehicles and spearhead environmental groups.
The moves towards sustainability were started by the generation of older people.

Why do so many middle aged people complain a lot

Why do so many people in their twenties and thirties complain constantly about everything ? They think they're entitled to so many things that previous generations did without or worked hard to achieve much later in life. Holidays abroad, all the latest tech, meals out, clothes which last a season. It's a throwaway, get bored and replace culture now. Don't bother to help others,or get to know your neighbours, or think for yourselves, just parrot the latest Thought Speak
See, we can all generalise and make sweeping statements about 'them' and 'they'.

There's a part of me that hopes posters like this one are dismissed in such a brisk and unfeeling way when they are old.
Of course, @KittyCorncrake will know that she won't be like this. She will.

Millennials/Gen Z see modern-day living standards, with holidays, labour-saving devices, abundant comparatively cheap food (today 11% of household income vs 26% in 1970)

Boomers were between 6 and 24 years old in 1970. Don’t know too many 6 year olds keeping an eye on food inflation.

They (understandably) complain about lack of jobs (Boomers also did face the same challenges at times) and high house prices but fail to acknowledge that they have had the most indulged, privileged childhoods in history and lived like Kings in comparison to many boomers/silent generation.

Sorry what? Millennials are the children of these boomers who apparently had it very very hard as adults whilst their children (millennials) simultaneously had indulged and privileged childhoods. Both can’t be true I’m afraid.

Up to a point I can understand this though.

I am not at their age. but I can remember a time when "the system" seemed not to be so inaccessible.

Take the example of airline companies. Most have no-one on the ground at the airport to complain to (just general airport staff), no physical presence you can rock up at and get help, and then phone lines that simply don't let you get through if you pick a complaints option. Everyone responsible in so many roles these days is kept at arms length and we have to interface with people who quite frankly don't care.

I think it is loss of hope.

Hope gets us through so much in life, but I guess at some point you realise there isn't time for things to turn out ok after all.

And more than that, how is any individual responsible for the state of the world?

Maybe here and there a President or someone is a position of real influence can shape history, but not many people should have to shoulder responsibility at a personal level for the state of the world.

What a bitter and pointless attitude @DefiantRabbit9

The reason they own so much of the housing is because they were here first. House building hasn’t risen in line with the population. We ran out of houses. And the idea that young people are greener than the elderly is preposterous. Old people were saving the planet before they realised they were even doing it. My DM has never driven, walks everywhere, never been on a plane, mends things rather than throwing them away and replacing them, and guards anything that can be reused (every box, jar, sweet tin) and repurposes it. She’s a veritable eco warrior!

If anyone has destroyed the plant it’s Gen X and Millennials with their fast fashion, 3 cars per household and their disposable lifestyle.