Parents trying to foist sibling onto me

[TralalaTralalee]

My sister is disabled and has never lived independently from our parents. I don’t get on with her (partly we’re just very different people, partly I find her weirdly intrusive and manipulative). There is no chance that I would ever become her carer, allow her to live with me, or take on responsibility for her care.

Now that our parents are ageing I’ve started offering to help them more, but often what they want help with is actually things for my sister - they have always done everything for her/wrapped her up in cotton wool, but I believe she is capable of doing these things for herself (or at least could do with support, and is eligible for help from local services to give her that support).

I feel like I’m going around in circles with them: they know I’m not close to my sister, I’ve said I’m not willing to help her with anything she can do for herself, I’ve said she must become more independent. But it’s still constant requests to do things for her and every time I say no they are upset.

Has anybody been through similar? Do I just keep saying no over and over?

I also can see some of these people on the thread foisting their opinions, claiming the Bible tells them this and that. The Bible tells you just to get married, leave your parents behind and live with your married spouse. Nothing else.

you can have all barrage of opinions that you want to foist, you might even be disabled and fired up by the fake rejection you feel because some other person's relatives do not think like yours ! - what do you gain by getting angered - go and arrange your own life, before it is too late for you and an adult social worker does it for you. The same anger and determination on here will do you the much needed job at home

How are things going @TralalaTralalee?
I've been thinking about you and hoping you're okay.