Best comment EVER on a school report

[GammonAndEgg]

I'll begin. Sitting comfortably?

Joe is perfecting his French accent. He must now realise that there are real words in the French language that he must try to say, instead of making up his own.

brilliant

Is Joe related to Delboy?

That's hilarious. My 5yo is similarly convinced that French is just a name for making up gobbledygook. Good teacher.

Do yoo min to tell me zat zis is not 'ow to spik French?

Oh, merde.

Ha ha! That is brilliant!

Mange-tout, Joe, mange-tout.

Can we get Joe to make a guest appearance on the Franglais thread?

I don't think that Joe needs any encouragement. I despair of Joe.

Not on a report but at parents evening.I sit down with my mum and dad.
Secondary school geography teacher...
Joanne is not progressing well in class. She is unmotivated, lacks discipline, and is lack lustre in her general approach. I am constantly amazed at the incorrect details she puts in her work. It shows a lack of attention and is a great concern for her ability to remember details.
My mum.....
Her name Is Mary Not Joanne....
Teacher
Well yes that's what I meant.
Mum
And you are concerned she isn't paying attention??

shit

Owlet should remember that clowns prosper only in the circus.

I am very find of xxx and his antics.

My dad has an old school report that says
what he has achieved is adequate, what he has potential to achieve we shall never know

My grandmother applied a similar theory to every country she visited, speaking confidently in English with appropriate accent, worked fine for her!

Joe also got:
Joe is happy, caring and a pleasure to have in our classroom. It would be wonderful if he would do some work instead of going to the loo, getting a drink, sharpening pencils...

LOL

We had one last year about ds2, something about his 'phonetically plausible spelling' which was a polite way of saying he was shit at spelling and just wrote things like they sounded. Proud moment

On a detention slip:

Reason for detention: For placing a blue-tack penis on my desk.

Pretty good. A friend once got; if Emma spent as much time completing her work as she does talking to boys, she could have been the next Einstein by now!

Joey from Friends! Random coincidence!

Is Joe every child I teach??!! Absolute class. Well done Joe!

This thread is brilliant ... and timely as my parents sent me my old school reports yesterday, there are some pearlers!

Aged 9 - Creative Activities - Not Lavender's strongest point - she works well but the results in Art have not been too successful .

Aged 14 - Physics - Lavender's achievement would be much higher if she could keep her mouth shut and get on with the work in hand. I did A level physics so must have learnt to keep my mouth shut in the end!

Aged 14 - Music - Lavender is extremely talented, unfortunately her skill is often viewed as 'showing off' by her class mates which can make her moody , she would do well to try to hide her talent at times ..... only in the early 80s.

There are loads more - too many to write down, but we had a good giggle last night!

My favourite was my friends report:

" Michelle always works really hard in woodwork"

Michelle :" But I don't even do woodwork!!!"

Thelma is no trouble, and takes none.

They told it straight in the 1930s!

Anonymous. ... 'phonetically plausible' is actually a comment of attainment in the Welsh national curriculum, so appears in a lot of reports.

Oh is it really? I had no idea...I thought it was just a tactful way of saying that he wasn't very good!