Best comment EVER on a school report

[GammonAndEgg]

I'll begin. Sitting comfortably?

Joe is perfecting his French accent. He must now realise that there are real words in the French language that he must try to say, instead of making up his own.

tinker that is amazing :o

I've been a music teacher for many years. A long time ago I remember writing a report which said 'xxx may not be Mozart just yet...' about a very young, talented student and suggested considering they start lessons on a second instrument too. That former pupil is now a world famous musician on the second instrument!

Dd would benefit from being exposed to different cultures.
She is part German and part Austrian ( as well as English) and has family in 5 countries she regularly Skypes. She knew a few words of French, German, Hindi and Spanish by age 5 and we travelled abroad regularly, spending a month each summer in another country where we own a property. Her best firiends were Irish, Brazillian and half Chinese.
When I questioned this it turns out we had been " spotted" in a Methodist Church and it was assumed we were Methodists - how this means we don't experience other cultures is beyond me.
Teacher appologised

DS (aged 9) had "He is most eloquent in his own defence."

I was advised not to continue with Home Ec as a gcse as the school budget wouldn't stretch to new pans every week.

I forgot to put the water in the pan under the bowl I was using to make chocolate.

One of my DM's reports said J is a plodder.

Dd Parents night.geog teacher "dd is doing well but I would really like to spend 5 minutes in her Head to see what goes on in there"(dd renowned in school for random remarks!

my worst ever school report arrived home via the post a few days after the end of term. boarding school, one slip page per subject, written in detail etc etc. it arrived on a saturday morning; dad came down late after the post had arrived and asked if yolofish's report had come yet. mum cunningly flipped it under the fridge with the back of her foot and denied all knowledge. so, Monday morning, when he was back at work, we opened it: and then we burnt every page cermoniously with a single match into his big onyx ashtray!!!

yolo what would he have said if he'd read it?

If Littleham spent less time daydreaming she might remember to switch the oven on. (Still forget to turn it on now).

Seem to remember there was also something like 'Littleham should learn to sew, instead of learning how to pick the door lock'.

tinker that is brilliant

The report my 8 year old grandson brought home last time requested pupil comments as well.

The teacher wrote -

M is a joy to teach, always willing to listen and learn etc.etc

His comment?

Go me!!

He's 8 (going on 15)

And he makes my life good

Seen on a report card at school of person of very passive behaviour:

'Ian has finally become a railwaysleeper'

Dancergirl Dad would have gone apeshit!!!!

The sole comment on an essay over which, admittedly, I hadn't laboured for long:

Sweeping generalisations, woefully unsubstantiated.

Summer term report after I'd done my A levels:

* will get the results she deserves

I passed, but with DDE instead of predicted BBC

Chilli must become more patient with others in the class who have less sophisticated ideas than her own.

Chilli is becoming more confident in water and no longer panics in the shallow end.

I was an egomaniac and a shit swimmer to boot...but it didn't help that I was so short that the shallow end was like the deep end to me

I don't have any of my school reports, have never seen them! Don't think my mother kept them. Would love to read them now.

Mine consisted of ' if LH was actually in school and not off sick im sure she would be top of the class"

My dm used to write me sick notes twice a week and whisk me off to London for a trawl round museums, art galleries and shops, ending with tea at Harrods or fortnums.

No one ever questioned it all, and I made it no secret.

Comment made to ex-DP by the head of department when he got his degree results

"Much as it pains me, university regulations decree that i have to award you a First."

He had scrapped 70%, despite never turning up to lectures or seminars.

comment about ds:
He should aim to hand homework in on time, however if he unable to do this he should realise that the whole world is not responsible for the problem.

Loving this thread! Unfortunately, I don't think any of my school reports have survived the many many many times we have moved house.
I did always get something along the lines of "must stop talking and distracting classmates."

However, one comment I do remember from my leaver's book is from my physics teacher: "Good luck with your career as an author."

I had spent my last two years in high school writing stories instead of working

CC is not worth teaching. You'd be sacked for a comment like that now!
It was for RE and the teacher was very odd, all of his students failed RE that year.

Florentine must learn that comedians belong in the theatre, not in the classroom.