Best comment EVER on a school report

[GammonAndEgg]

I'll begin. Sitting comfortably?

Joe is perfecting his French accent. He must now realise that there are real words in the French language that he must try to say, instead of making up his own.

From my "on report" card, which I had to get signed at the end of every lesson to prove I'd shown up "Chatty. More interested in make up than work. Sang, despite requests not to do so." I was a hideous teenager, thankfully my children havent taken after me

Nursery report: At the beginning, we thought that Tom was a quiet child

Another one:
Ben always has a lot to say

comment from Brown Owl when dd2 started Brownies.

She not..umm...very like her sister is she??

(dd1 - quiet reserved, dd2 in your face Miss Sociability )

Ooh did you see us at the bottom of the round up?

Heard this one from someone else today. About his son in a v posh private secondary school... "All I can say is that he turns up (to the lesson). That is all".

'XXX would be able to achieve a much higher grade if she didn't love the sound of her own voice so much.'
Nearly all of them say something similar!

'I'm sure XXX would do very well in this subject but as she never bothers to show up to my lessons I cannot comment on her achievement only assume her capability.'
This one has always been my favourite!

Recent parents' evening for Y7 DS. The very huggy and caring Religious studies teacher tells me that young Depp is the only child in her class who she doesn't "get", she feels like she knows nothing about him, he is a bit like a stranger to her, he doesn't reveal enough about himself etc..etc...making him sound very cold and distant (he's not).

Next day I ask ds about it. He then reminds me that he never goes to Religious studies because that's when he does his individual music lesson . I laughed very hard.

The best of all these is 3 year old Liara's tendency to fall off her chair. Made me laugh out loud.

Primadonnagirl my son got a certificate and high praise for his incredible art work at the end of first term, year 11. He didn't do art!

Mine 'Lulu is a graceful, talented gymnast and a fantastic captian of the gymnastic team. Her beam work is a delight'. I never went anywhere near gymnastics, ever.

'I have now confiscated 6 copies of Smash Hits from Lulu since September. Might I politely suggest you reduce her pocket money.' (French)

'Lulu is interested and often entertained by all aspects of Biology.'

'Lulu tries hard but has absolutely no aptitude for Art whatsoever. From next term she will be doing extra Maths where I understand she is much more able.'

And DH 'If DH paid half as much attention to studying his Maths as he does to studying Bradford City in the league tales, he might make faster progress.'

'His friends in the class find DH very amusing but not as amusing as he finds himself. It is all rather tiresome behaviour and wastes a good deal of my time' (English)

'Argument is an important skill in History, I would just prefer that DH stuck to the Tudors rather than arguing with everyone else on his table about football for most of the lesson'.

I like the fact that school reports were much more personal. Today they all read the same and all children are a joy to teach apparently.

from my PE teacher make every effort to do as little as possible!

My friend's geography: your son would be out of his depth in a car park puddle

My Dd got
"QOD Dd needs to practice throwing and catching a soft ball"

just last year ... she was 15 hahaha. She's been allowed to drop pe gcse

Love this post - prompted DH to dig out his old school report - my favourite from his applied science and technology teacher "ever trying - without success"

This might be connected to his technique for avoiding admitting he hadn't done his homework by waving a couple of blanks sheets of paper over the oxy-acetylene burner so he could say "oh no sir, my homework is on fire" ever resourceful.

My own favourite from my school days is my french teacher who gave me A effort 5. My DPs were impressed that i was so good at french without apparently any effort required. My french teacher hated me. She once said in response to my word perfect spoken test 'yes well, you do have a well oiled mouth don't you". A reference to talking a lot

As a teacher, I once tried to tell parents that their teenage son was prone to long, boring, irrelevant anecdotes. (If you asked him to be quiet, he would save it for later and start from the exact point he left off). I began "Your ds is very articulate but..." The Dad interrupted, " Yes, he is very good at art, but surely you're his French teacher..." I gave up.