Best comment EVER on a school report

[GammonAndEgg]

I'll begin. Sitting comfortably?

Joe is perfecting his French accent. He must now realise that there are real words in the French language that he must try to say, instead of making up his own.

'Can sometimes be a little petulant with her peers'

Well, they could be fucking annoying and one of them stole my Pippa

DS had this in his PE report: one of the most polite students I've taught in a long time.
Translation, "is shit at PE."

Found an old report of my sisters.......XXX is always clean and well dressed.

Says alot about her acedemic achievements

'Jeanne needs to learn that sarcasm will only take her so far.'

I was quite proud of that one. It was my English Lit teacher. Poor woman.

Sparing has lots of energy and enthusiasm. Unfortunately none of it is directed towards her work

This thread is hilarious - just found another one:

Lavender must take her work more seriously, she is far too frivolous during lessons and seems incapable of maintaining concentration at crucial times, annotated by the head - "oh dear, how very disappointing Lavender"

That was my degree subject and I got a very good degree!

sparing .

i miss written reports. I started teaching in 93 and only did them for one year

improbable I imagine that you wouldn't be allowed to be as honest these days - I have never seen anything remotely like these as a parent.

My DM once told me of a boy whose report complained he wasn't good with scissors. He grew up to be a surgeon!

Mini max the cat is very good at PE, and can hit a window with a cricket ball from the other side of the sports field. Sadly, we wish he wouldn't keep aiming for the windows

my sons first report said..."jack" is a lovely little boy but he is never going to set the world on fire. He was 5........

My friends report said - a strange child, rather hostile when questioned.....the 70s told it how it was!

A friend's child particularly enjoyed the trip to London and used his learning from the day really well back at school. The trip to London was however cancelled!

Last year we got 'DS is able to carry out every day tasks in new and unusual ways'!

DD had her EYF report from the childminder. She's 2.10

"Squishlet likes to encourage her friends"

She's bossy then?!

About ds2
He has an incredible talent unfortunately he appears not to want to use it.

If ds used a fraction of his time in lessons concentrating on the task in hand rather than entertaining the class his productivity would increase tenfold.

Ds has an incredible vocabulary unfortunately homework, application and compliance seem to have evaded him.

I am unable to comment on ds's participation in this subject as I haven't seen any evidence that he has completed any work despite making his presence felt.

All pretty accurate unfortunately.

sexyhouseslippes is excelling in sports, science and maths however that is not the case for her other subjects. She's needs to learn back chatting, flirting and laughing won't get her a GCSEs, they were glad to see the back of me

From the 60s
'I would love to see the hard work that Cam apparently puts into her Scripture homework and would appreciate your support in preventing the dog from destroying it on a weekly basis'. I remember my mother's quizzical 'what dog?'.

My saddest one was a grade for p.e. Graded from 1 to 5, 5 being. Highest and 1 being lowest...

5 for Effort
1 for attainment

BBasically I tried hard, but was still rubbish!

My DH once got -although he tries hard, X is not talented in woodwork.

He's a carpenter now.

Rooster's acid tongue has served her well during class debate.

Lunar has a unique perspective on the English language.

JC is a very... complex child.

For PE, when I was 8, just the comment: 'Sleepy is malcoordinated'.

I wish we were allowed to be honest/less cryptic in reports nowadays (am a teacher)!