#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 10

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2944496--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-9
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

Bear I was wondering about the reason for the Eeva. From what I can tell it allows you to predict on day 3 which embryos will reach blastocyst stage. Does this mean that you would always go for a transfer on day 3 based on the predictions (even if you had lots of embryos) rather than wait to see if the embryos reach blastocyst stage and do a day 5 transfer? Unless you only have a few eggs and they are worried about waiting to see if any reach blastocyst stage I am not completely sure of the benefit. Happy to be corrected if I have misunderstood and I have to admit I basically went for all the added extras!

Bear, great news! I personally didn't go for the time lapse/own incubator option for the reasons Wonky states below. You're likely to have enough embryos to get to day 5 with or without the video screening. Embryologists will check your embryos once a day and even without the time lapse they can normally tell which ones are developing best. Also, I know that all my fertilised eggs were top quality on day 3 (although some had divided more than others) and yet only a third of those made it to day 5 so the truth is that on day 3 they just can't tell much, whether you've gone for your own incubator or the normal one. Just my thoughts though... £800 is a lot of money and can buy you lots of baby stuff (trust me, I wish I had been a bit more cautious with my finances while ttc 😬)
Sorry if this is probably not helping with your decision making!!

Also, do you have to pay extra for subsequent FET if needed? My clinic charged about £1k for each try after that. Embryos have to reach blastocyst stage to be properly analysed so as long as you've got a few reaching this stage you've got a really good chance. I'll keep everything crossed for you x

Bear glad you re getting started soon lovely. Personally I wouldn't opt for the time lapse video imaging, although £800 is cheaper than a lot of places I ve seen charge for this. I know its mega bucks at Care clinics. I think embryologists are the most experienced cog in the whole fertility treatment wheel, and their naked eye on the embryos is worth weight in gold. They know what to look for in a good quality embryo and if you ve paid for them to be spinning around, they do not need to pay so much attention. However it may be a nice memory of embryos developing, to show your baby in years to come.. just an expensive extra in my opinion.

Kwick & Stork (For info) I think they take all risk factors into consideration when choosing whether Consultant led care. Donor egg IVF is seen as high risk, despite donor eggs been used for some years. Even some areas will say OE IVF is high risk. Then for me previous loss, age, BMI, thyroid, endometriosis are also seen as risk factors. I think its likely you will be under Consultant led care, maybe not necessarily straight away. I think there are advantages/disadvantages. Cons care you ll get more scans which might offer you reassurance but less say in the type of birth you might want. More likely to be medicalised but will depend on the hospital you re at too. I think whatever happens you can find a midwife to support you throughout (whether at your own surgery or not) because they generally chivy you up, and you d have more time to talk about more practical concerns. You need that with it being your first baby.
There is research to suggest that Consultants tend to be more worried about pre-eclampsia with donor egg babies, and also you ll probably end up getting put forward for the gestational diabetes tests too.... the latter I requested in end.. and was fine.
I know I ll struggle later on with fetal tracers and extra scans in 3rd trimester because of what happened before, but hopefully baby's development will be good enough to not have to go quite so often.
I hope you find a good balance that will offer you reassurance but also freedom to make choices that work for you (with help of midwife)

Thanks all, I have until EC to decide and there are only 6 slots so there is a possibilty I would get it anyway. I think the biggest benefit is if you have a few eggs it helps the embryologists select the best quality one for transfer, often Eeva selects a different one to what the embryologist would have chisen without it because although it has dividex it may have divided too quickly or too slowly. The reason I am not sure of the benefit is that I think my clinic takes all embryos to 5 days now anyway and there is still no gurantee of a positive either way.

pez yes its about £1,000 for fet at my clinic. I hope I have some frosties but just counting on 1 good one for transfer 😀

Wow! Congrats on the bfps!

ever thanks for that explanation. Very interesting and we shall see where this leads us once we get our bfps. If its consultant led do you still get any midwife time?

pez Yes, 2 more sleeps till Athens, 3 till FET of my little snowflakes! Fingers crossed this works!

Stork yes you should be entitled to have a midwife throughout regardless, a lot of people don't realise this and just assume that its all consultant appointments. I think having the midwife input is important and esp as its a first baby!!
Its more likely that you ll have your early midwife appointments and it would get decided at 20w scan, unless of course any issues come up and you need further monitoring.

When I went for my initial midwife appointment she said I would have been referred to consultant if had ivf but would have still have had all the same midwife appointments. The consultants don't always keep you on tho if they deem you to be low risk. Midwives sometimes see you for extra appointments rather than less if you are also under consultant
I have been referred to the anaesthetist consultant due to my spine issues so they can check whether there will be any problems if I need spinal for c section (will not be having epidural for general pain relief)
The gestational diabetes test is done on a very strict criteria now, used to be everyone but now main factors are high bmi, ethnic background, fundal height as pregnancy progresses, any family history or if you get any high readings on your pee sample at each midwife appointment

Wahoo stork only one more sleep now ✈️ then ❄️

Hello all, can I join please?

I'm 38 years old and being ttc since April 2016. I was put forward for NHS ivf in March this year, but had it cancelled day before due to start stimming and told I had POF instead! I conceived naturally in June, but had mc at 5 weeks. I now haven't had a period since July My body is buggered basically.

Just come into a small inheritance which means I can now afford treatment. I've chosen New Life in Greece for DE treatment. DH and I flying over next month for initial blood tests, 3D scan, sperm freezing etc, and then back in January (hopefully) for treatment,

I'm so excited, but also terrified. Hoping you guys can keep me company

Hi isthismummy welcome to our little thread. I do recall chatting to you briefly a while back.
Am happy you have some inheritance cash to pay for treatment, this is wonderful news

Myself kwick and stork have embarked or are about to embark on DE treatment abroad...Stork and I at serum in Greece and kwick at ivi in Spain. Am currently 8w pregnant on my first attempt with full DE cycle so itsvery possible!!

Are you going for adopting embryos or a full DE cycle? How are you finding your clinic so far?

I had a very low ovarian reserve, got pregnant in feb 2016, carried my daughter Mabel to almost full term but she very sadly died at 29 days old- lost to edwards syndrome!! The diagnosis not known till 6 days after her delivery

As we ve said before as DE recipients or soon to be recipients on this thread.... infertility sucks but epigenetics rocks!!! So I do hope you have success with DE soon!! Wishing you lots of luck xxx

Hi Everhopeful I am so terribly sorry about your daughter. There are no words Many congratulations on your bfp! That is wonderful news. Wishing you an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end of it

I actually had a Hysteroscopy at Serum in July. However I decided to move to New Life for my DE treatment and so far they've been brilliant. I've only been in touch via Skype and phone call so far, but feel like I've made a good choice. I did look at several clinics, but they were far and away the best. I spoke to a few Czech clincs too, but tbh I just felt they were more interested in selling me add ons/top packages than the specifics of my actual treatment. I must admit I was suprised as they were clinics that have glowing recommendations on here and Fertility Friends.

We are using DE and DH sperm. He has low motility (despite twice going through Serums kill you or cure you sperm improvement protocol twice) but everything else normal including DNA fragmentation.

I'm just praying we at least get Frosties to freeze if first transfer doesn't work. There's so many unknowns even with DE. So nerve wracking!

Thanks pez and wonky for explaining about the next round of meds! And thanks kwik for the crossed fingers.

Thinking of you Stork - so close now!

Welcome isthismummy - you’ll find this a lovely supportive place full of wisdom. Good luck on your journey.

Thanks Ever. I hope I get far enough along this journey to find out if i will be consultant led or not 😬

Safe travels stork!!

Welcome isthis!!!

I must tell you about a not so nice experience at the yoga show but will need a proper keyboard for that!

hmmmm I have had a very productive morning so far... just have not done any work just a whole load of personal stuff

So yesterday at the Yoga Show after buying some Pukka tea and supplements and getting a gorgeous free bag, and having a wonderful Thai massage and buying 3 full size Organic products for a tenner and buying a TWO years supply of hair removal thingy I made the MISTAKE of stopping for a free "reading" by a Christian group.

So the lady asked me to pick a few cards and then told me she thought I was looking for something.... I said that I was looking to have a baby... she was initially happy -
Her: "Oh how long have you and your husband been trying?"
Me: "Oh no there is no husband"
Her: "Oh your partner then?"
Me: "Oh no partner I am doing this alone"
Her: a very confused look "But....?"
Me: big grin "I am using a donor"
Her: sad face "Oh.... but is that what you most seek?"
Me: "Well I guess I would have liked to do this with a man but I am 43, he did not come along so I have to shake a leg"
Her: "Oh but surely that is not what you want most in the world. Jesus says.....(sorry cannot remember)... and so surely you want a man most of all"
Me: "the higher power I know would not want me to miss a chance at happiness"
Her: "But being a single mother is awful. I was one after my husband died and my daughter is a single mum and it is not good."
Me: "Well clearly those are your experiences and I cannot question them but just because those are your experiences does not mean they will be mine"
It transpires God, through her, cannot bless me... I see she is really struggling so I say:
Me: "I can see this is difficult for you. I believe that the universe is constantly showing us things to guide our way and whilst you clearly do not think I am taking the right path I believe that I was supposed to meet you today as a sign that I have made the best decision ever and to completely underline the fact that I am doing what is right. Thank you for showing me that."

I then quickly went and had some Reiki to get rid of her horrible negative energy...

But I am STILL in shock!!!! If God is love then this lady has truly strayed from that path....

right back to work!!!!

Ah ah this is brilliant Kwick!! You know my views on religion . Poor lady, I wonder if she has recovered now...

Holy hell kwick, some people are just too much. Xx

well I am not blame free... I mean WHAT WAS I THINKING sitting down with a Christian group???

I have heard back from IVI:

• pill will not now be in my protocol so prescription was correct
• egg collection with donor is set for this Wednesday and I will be updated on fertilisation on the Thursday and next Tuesday on blastocysts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wahooooooo kwick!! Bloody brill news my friend!! How exciting 😁😁😁

kwick how bloody marvellous! It’s all going on! We’ve so got this!

HAHAHAHA kwick
Yep what were you thinking!?! I purposely havnt told my work colleagues about donor sperm because although I have a husband (who is infertile) I'm pretty sure if get the 'its not God's way' lecture. So I say 'F* them'
It is noones right to critise or judge what we choose to do and I can hand on heart say that all our babies will be loved and nurtured. Isn't that what's most important?

Welcome isthismummy....hope we can offer support and a listening ear for you.

This group is having some great journies at the moment. Full of excitement!

Absolutely munro I really pity the lady though - she was clearly very upset with her lot.

Been to Asda - have to go back again tomorrow as they did not have everything. Am trying the bus route home... fricking miles away!!!

My word kwick that was some reading you had and it is the reason I will not be sharing with certain people because honestly I am totally happy with my decision and I don’t need their judgement. All is sounding positive for you with IVI 😀

london how did scan go (I think you had one today?)

stork is that you in Greece now? Good luck for tomorrow

Welcome isthismummy

Ha ha kwik - she didn’t know what she had bitten off when she sat down to talk to you! Glad you’re still feeling positive & not letting it get to you - fab news on things moving along for you.

Hope you’re all arrived in Greece just fine Stork - fingers crossed for you.

Thanks Bear, yes another scan today. Everything growing nicely. Starting the cetrotide tomorrow.

Starting to get a little bit worried about timings for the egg collection and transfer - there’s just one day that will be really tricky for me (old friend’s wedding at the other end of the country) and of course it looks like that will be the day to put embryos back... in the grand scheme of things missing the wedding will be fine & my friend will understand, I’ll just be sad to miss it.

How are you finding the meds london? Will be a shame if you have to miss your friends wedding but like you say I am sure she will understand if Ec does fall on that day. Jus have to wait and see you might be lucky and manage both

Oddly enough, I’m finding the meds fine, bear. Was so terrified about constipation, trapped wind, bloating and painful spasms, but daily lactulose and oil of peppermint has kept it all away so far! Plus walking everywhere helps. I’ve given up getting the tube and just walk/bus to the office.

The only problem is the dreaded 4pm hitting a wall - so I’m just trying to take it easier, move my key meetings to 10am-3pm and do desk work outside those times.

First cetrotide this morning - and boy did that one sting! But onwards & upwards!