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#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome! Thread #6

(1000 Posts)
kwick Fri 24-Feb-17 13:13:06

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

INeedNewShoes Fri 24-Feb-17 13:46:56

Yay to another new thread smile Thanks for keeping us organised Kwick!

It's good that they're running what sounds like a thorough raft of blood tests Kwick but I'm with you on the frustration of the delay.

Karen - all is well here thank you. I had a scan last week and everything is 'normal' so I'm keeping more positive generally at the moment. My only issue is that I've developed a severe work apathy which I think is partly hormones, partly my priorities changing and partly because my employer are doing a spectacular job of demotivating their entire workforce at the moment!

Pez - I'm worried that you're going to do your lovely garden redesign and then the silly driver will just plough over it anyway! Maybe surround anything you plant with little rocks until the car has buggered off?

Caution - you're really having a run of bad luck. Hopefully this means you're saving a run of good luck for the Baby Plan!

Snorkmaiden85 Fri 24-Feb-17 13:59:39

Hi all,

Sorry haven't had time to catch up on the (old!) thread properly but wanted to say fingers toes and everything crossed for you, Karen!

kwick hope you're doing OK. I'm sceptical of online cbt, agree that bereavement counselling seems more appropriate. A friend has just started counselling for her mc and is really glad of the space to work through her feelings. She's also experiencing a lot of anger at the moment. I don't want to put down the online cbt though, it may well be helpful! Just that having both had a lot of counselling and done counselling training myself, I don't think there's any substitute for a 1:1, face to face therapeutic relationship.

Thanks to all for your thoughts on telling work! witch, I LOVE your notebook/meeting trick! My job is pretty much 100% desk based so I don't think I'd get away with that. I'm going to play it by ear, I've got to go to the clinic for a blood test next week so I'm just going to say I've got an outpatient hospital appointment, then perhaps I can pass off further appointments as 'follow ups'. It'll be a useful low stakes practice run to work out how long it takes there and back too.

I'm so impatient to get started with the IUI now but trying to learn some patience as feel like I'm going to need it throughout. I can't have my consultation til I've done the blood tests and I've just missed the window in my cycle for doing them, so that's another month... Hoping I might be able to start around May time, seems ages away but time is going so fast at the moment.

Karendvm Fri 24-Feb-17 14:50:36

snork I know it's hard to wait. I was so impatient with a couple of cycles. It was all I thought about. Nothing like getting a puppy to distract you! Lol, not that I recommend that. She is non-stop. I hope your next cycle comes quickly and your tests go well.

shoes so glad you are doing well! I hope to be following in your shoes.

Are we doing introductions again?
I'm Karen, living in Canada (the odd duck!). 37 years old. Single and trying for a year now. Had a mmc with my first iui last year. Then a bfn,then bfp but chemical pregnancy I think. That was a hard one, lost my five year old dog to cancer at the same time. Now 2017, and I had an iui 12 days ago. Got a bfp yesterday and scared but hopeful. Scared to test again though!
I love this thread and all the ladies on it. Xx

INeedNewShoes Fri 24-Feb-17 15:00:17

My intro:

34, single, IUI with donor sperm at Stork Klinik in Denmark.
IUI #1: chemical pregnancy
IUI #2: MMC at 11 weeks
IUI #3: chemical pregnancy
IUI #4: BFP, still sticking at 29 weeks!

Karen - when's your OTD? Or when's AF due? If you test the day after AF due and get a good strong line you should be beyond chemical pregnancy territory by then. Crossing my fingers for you so much smile

PaisleyBE Fri 24-Feb-17 15:16:08

Kwick , thanks for a new thread!

I'm 31, living in Belgium, single & getting ready for the first IUI ever in May. I'm using a clinic in Denmark, too.

Karen , I keep my fingers crossed tightly for you! I hope your puppy will keep you busy and off bad thoughts.

Btw, I have a feeling that several of us are doing a cycle in May. Yay for May!

Pez82 Fri 24-Feb-17 15:28:34

Thanks for the new thread kwick!

I'm 34, single, using Create FC in London
IUI 1 - Jan: BFN
IUI 2 - Feb: BFN
IUI 3 likely to be end of next week

I went for my CD6 scan today and left really underwhelmed. Plenty of follicles including 4 above 10mm, lining at 4.7mm which is thin so they sent me for more bloodwork. I know my lining wasn't thicker than that on my 1st cycle on CD6 so I questioned why I needed the blood tests (it's not like I can spit out £100 every time I go!). And after just finishing the heaviest AF in my whole life it's no wonder my lining is so thin...
Then the doctor couldn't find the info on IUI#1 on their system!!! I complained that they keep on sending me for blood work but I never get to discuss the results. Let alone the fact that my last cycle was completely messed up due to the progesterone I should never have been put on. I had to escalate it to the clinic manager so I could get a follow up by phone next Monday. I'm also going back for another scan on Monday to check on follicle growth. Also first time I hear, but I have some endometriosis (up until now they were referring to it as a cyst)

I am losing faith in the clinic and therefore starting to look for alternative options if IUI #3 fails. Any recommendations for clinics in central London??

CautionHormone Fri 24-Feb-17 16:49:26

Thank you Kwick for starting a new thread. Try to look at the bloods as a positive thing - they're finally looking into things, and the testing they're doing mean you may avoid using donor eggs... If they didn't do the testing and were blasé about everything, they'd probably insist on using donor embryos, if that makes sense?!

My current situation:
I'm 25,
I'm single (and plan to be forever grin) and going it alone,
I'm currently waiting for a laparoscopy into endometriosis which I have booked in just under 4 weeks time shock so nervous.
I've got no previous tries behind me.

Thanks everyone re my heart "issues". I have a GP appointment booked for next Wednesday, to see what's going on and probably to have another ECG, I don't know. Just hoping the bloods come back normal?! I've been previously tested for heart issues because I have palpitations and chest pain a lot, but I've had a 24hr ECG & a 7-day ECG and nothing was picked up, bar my heart beating 25% more than a "normal" persons. But I got referred within a month of the palpitations and chest pains starting, and all the tests I had were over within three months - so from palpitations/chest pains starting to end of testing it was only about four months. 6/7 months later, were here, with the left side of my heart enlarged. My Mum thinks it's because I'm too "in tune" with my body (I have other health issues and know my body well) and picked it up before it manifested itself, and now it's showing and being picked up on tests nearly a year after my symptoms started.
I never catch a break... Something always breaks down on my body and I'm young, it shouldn't be happening. I know there's no age limit on illnesses but you don't really expect it at my age. I have around 7/8 illnesses already... I'm fed up of it. I don't need another one. hmm

Sorry for the rant/length of the post. Just needed to vent. X

Everhopeful76 Fri 24-Feb-17 17:04:14

I'm 40, single, using uma gordon fertility clinic in Bristol.

Ivf 1- BFP. My lovely Mabel who was born just over 5 weeks early, but was found to have Edwards syndrome. With me for 29 wonderful days and is now my guardian angel and hoping her divine influence may mean I can be a mummy again to her brother or sister

Planning ivf 2 for May 2017. Using same clinic and everything crossed that my egg reserve has not fallen off a cliff

Pez - I considered create, had 2 consultations there and decided against because I found it was too hard sell with low chance of success with my particular set of circumstances. The particular dr I saw I just didn't gel with at all. Altho I have chatted with ppl before who liked the clinic. I guess your gut instinct is right. no exp of other London clinics but have researched lister and the place kwik goes to, crgh

INeedNewShoes Fri 24-Feb-17 17:09:55

Caution - I spent my childhood, teens and most of my twenties amassing an impressive collection of medical conditions. I know that it can feel a bit hopeless but don't let it get you down. It makes us resilient beings which is useful for dealing with the rest of life! I hope that, like me, you will stop adding to your collection like I did (at 27).

Aside from my pregnancy meds I am now down to just one prescription med which is an asthma inhaler, down from being on sometimes up to 8 meds for various things for a few years. I never would have believed I could be as well as I am now!

HopingForALittleOne Fri 24-Feb-17 17:52:00

Thanks for setting up a new thread kwick. I always like a new thread and the intros as sometimes our threads move so fast I forget the details of everyone's journeys.

Me: aged 34 single and using LWC in London iui with no medication. Sperm from London sperm bank U.K.

Iui 1 : January 17 BFP resulting in chemical pregnancy
Iui2: just waiting for ovulation surge to start.

pez as you know I'm at lwc. It sounds quite different to your clinic and more hands off so I don't have all the scans before hand I just literally go in for iui process and then call two weeks later. This works for me at the moment as initial tests I had when starting this didn't highlight any problems.

So it depends whether the initial scans to check your follicles reassure or not?

If iui fails three times I get follow up consultation as part of package. I was offered blood tests when I phoned about chemical pregnancy but I didn't see any point paying out to find out hcg was barely there when pregnancy tests had stopped picking up line.

Fingers crossed I'll never need that follow up consultation

( also create wouldn't consider me as my bmi was outside the parameters they set)

Pez82 Fri 24-Feb-17 18:28:14

Thanks ever and hoping. Hoping, I do like the scans to know what's happening. Also, if you don't get scans I don't understand why they charge you so much for one IUI (it says £795 on their website?). I thought the high cost of IUI was because of the number of scans...

At least the nurse called me today to talk me through my blood results (which are normal). I think the doctor has sensed my irritation! I think he's right to want to test my hormone levels, it's just that I challenge why some doctors do this and others not.

As I now have a follow up session next Monday, I will ask for options if IUI#3 doesn't work, although I'll probably do a 4th unmedicated before moving to stimulation - I guess I'm now learning the hard way that this process isn't as easy as getting hold of some magic potion and shoving it in there at the right time grin

pickle162 Fri 24-Feb-17 18:45:10

Thanks for setting new thread up kwick

I think we are entitled to 3days leave for fertility treatment (which isn't that much-not sure if it's for each treatment or only amount) I really want my first go to be least stressful as possible and save those other days for emergencies. My dates are on the calendar so not sure why I haven't had confirmation email but will discuss next week.

My intro 33 (yes I've had a birthday since last update 😬)Single and can't see that changing ever (I'm ok with that)
*Had my consultant appointment in Jan, *chosen sperm donor and have brought a batch
* nurses appointment on 17th march
*1st medicated iui cycle starting May 2nd
*iui #1 provisionally booked for 15th May

So excited but eternal worrier about one thing or another

Karendvm Fri 24-Feb-17 19:37:42

I was bad and tested at lunch with the most dilute urine. The line was the same colour as yesterday. It's not dark, but it's obvious. I know-step away from the tests. What will be will be. I can't hold my urine right now, I'm running to the bathroom every hour or so. shoes my otd is next Thursday. They do it on day 18. I may go a day earlier and that way if it's good I can go again on Friday to see if it doubles. And all of that will only happen if af doesn't arrive. She is due tomorrow. I keep getting small cramps, not like af cramps, more like when I was pregnant. I'm tired and my mind is like soup. pickle I am a member of the eternal worrier group!

Snorkmaiden85 Fri 24-Feb-17 19:48:44

Ooh it's nice to read everyone's intros again and have an update/reminder of where you're all at. Thanks for the thread kwick grin

Me:
*31
*single and happy
*in Bristol
*just been referred to BCRM. Need to get my blood tests done and have my consultation, then hoping I might be able to start with IUI in May, but that's based on vague timescales I've made up in my head so we'll see...

Same as Pickle here - excited but also a constant worrier! Anxiety sufferer so trying extra hard to look after myself and keep perspective.

Told one of my colleagues today! We were chatting after everyone else had gone home and she told me something personal, so I bit the bullet. She couldn't have been more lovely and encouraging, which is a weight off my mind, I'm in a new job and feel guilty for planning all this so soon but she was totally like "don't wait!" Don't think I'll tell anyone else at work but just her saying that was really reassuring.

Hello to all xx

Bear1980 Fri 24-Feb-17 20:37:03

Hi all, I am so glad I found this thread because there isn't much support out there for single women doing this on their own. I have spent the last few days reading through everyone's journeys and thought it was time to introduce myself. I am 36 and have been thinking about this for a couple of years but holding off thinking I will meet "the one". I have recently been to a clinic for an ovarian scan and AMH, the nurse said the scan looked fine and she expects my AMH to come back normal so 🤞🏻. Anyway still got a few more steps to but hoping for IUI initially. Haven't told anyone what I am doing yet because I want to get a bit further down the journey (a friend knows it is on my mind but not that I have actually already been to a clinic).

Anyway that was a bit of a long intro but wanted to say hi, good luck to everyone on the journey with me 😊envy

Everhopeful76 Fri 24-Feb-17 20:49:54

Welcome Bear to this rollercoaster of a journey. Your results seem really positive so I hope you can get started soon xx

witchmountain Fri 24-Feb-17 21:01:44

Thanks for the shiny new thread Kwick! Loving the quote in the picture, I need reminding of that at the moment for other stuff.

Welcome Bear!

I'm 37 (I've had a birthday since the last update too Pickle!), comfortably single, and using LWC (the London branch). I've had two rounds of egg collection and IVF/ICSI and have a batch of frozen embryos waiting for me to use them, hopefully in the next couple of years once I have saved enough to fund a career change and childcare whilst I'm retraining!

Pez can't comment on IUI at LWC but my experience has been excellent. The consultant I saw was LOVELY and really made me feel like I had the space and time to ask loads of questions. I've never felt like I've been sold anything I didn't need, in fact she actually questioned whether it made sense for me to do a second cycle! Will PM you her name if you decide to have a look elsewhere. I also looked at the Lister, think I picked LWC because it felt a bit more personal although that's mainly because my introduction to it was one of their small seminars as opposed to quite a big open evening session at the Lister. It's also a bit more convenient for me.

Will now catch up with the end of the old thread...

Snorkmaiden85 Fri 24-Feb-17 21:08:05

Welcome Bear! I've also found the Donor Conception Network to be a useful source of information for single women, I joined as a member so I get all the newsletters and things which often have features and articles by single mothers by choice.

witchmountain Fri 24-Feb-17 21:09:24

Hoping I'm about to remortgage precisely to get it out of the way before my circumstances change but I appreciate it's simpler to remortgage than move! You can see what they take into account in the affordability calculations on their websites and if it's not on the retail website google for the intermediary site which normally has a lot more detail on lending criteria, both in respect of the borrower and the property you're borrowing against.

witchmountain Fri 24-Feb-17 21:11:34

Karen thinking about you in your wait. I don't think about you as being the odd one out at all!

Pez82 Fri 24-Feb-17 21:22:02

Thanks witch, that would be nice. I need to have another look at the Lister

Good advice on checking the intermediary website to check for lending criteria smile I am a mortgage product manager so I spend a lot of my time looking at what competitors do wink. Let me know if you need help with this!

Welcome bear! You've come to the right place

witchmountain Fri 24-Feb-17 21:26:12

Kwick I was out for the whole thing! You do have to walk from one room to the next in a gown but it wraps round you quite well so not like your arse is flapping about in the breeze. Then you lie down on the bed, get in the right position, and a really nice anaesthetist puts you at ease. I give blood but hate having a cannula put in my had but was fine both times and no bruising. Then you're out for the count from that point forward, no scan first, that's just weird! I was really nervous the first time and they looked after me really well - everyone involved came and explained who they were and what they'd be doing before it started.

Also, although you have to have someone pick you up, I didn't have anyone accompany me apart from for that (not sure if that's what you meant, but it made it easier for me because the early time would have made it hard to get someone). So both times the person collecting me showed up around the time I was due to be coming round from the sedative. The second time I realised I could probably have got away without someone because they didn't check that I left with the person I said was waiting upstairs for me.

Karendvm Fri 24-Feb-17 21:33:15

Welcome bear! I wish you luck on this journey.

Thanks for the good wishes everyone! If this ends up not working at least I have a new re to look forward to.

HopingForALittleOne Fri 24-Feb-17 21:35:31

Thanks witch and pez I'm lucky that I should be able to rent out this out in London and buy another up north by my family but it all feels rather delicate and complex with timing. I almost don't want to start the ball rolling until I'm pregnant as 1) logistics of getting to fc 2) it will be Sad leaving London but won't be if I'm pregnant and starting new chapter if that makes sense. Don't want to move and not get pregnant 3) pregnancy may be another reason in business case for work to move up north

pez do I have to declare I'm pregnant as soon as I'm pregnant or is there a particular time you have to say you pregnant ( e.g. By 12 weeks)? I still feel a bit raw from last month so not sure I would want to tell anyone earlier that I'm pregnant in case I end up then having to say oh hang on no I'm not yet...

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