#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 10

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2944496--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-9
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2908645--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-8
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2886793--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-All-welcome-Thread-7
And the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2863056--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-Thread-6
Here is the link to the one before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

We also have a weight loss spin off thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception/2889818-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-weight-loss-spin-off-thread

ever what does the intralipids do?

wonky why would you ever give up the bed socks??? Especially as winter is coming!!!

tiny CRGH tested me for CMV and I was negative and then it was a right pain to find magic potion (I also had other criteria which further complicated things). IVI don't seem to be bothered.
I think the HEFA advice has changed on this.

Tiny it's no longer a HFEA requirement as the risks were found to be low for CMV but some clinics still choose to follow as standard protocol
I wasn't even tested in the end so no clue what I am
It may be that their paperwork hasn't been updated since the change in hfea regulations so worth double checking with ur clinic before ordering either

Thanks, this thread is so helpful!

I've just read everything I can find on the HEFA website including code of practice and nowhere does it say you can't use a CMV +ve donor if you are CMV -ve. Guidance was updated in both May and October of this year so I think you're right, it might have changed?

Guess I will have the blood test to find out CMV status as if I'm already positive I won't have any issues. If I'm negative I'll do further research and possibly push to be allowed to use a positive donor, as far as I can tell the risks are very small and remain theoretical.

I am CMV negative and when we joined the waiting list 4yrs ago you could only have negative donors but now the guidance has changed
Reflecting a change in medical science. Apparently the CMV virus is mostly found in the seaman fluid and not the sperm. Seen as our sperm is washed, the risks are now minimal
Having said that, I work in paediatric health and see a lot of health issues down to CMV so we are sticking with only negative donor

Hi all,
Just checking in quickly!
Congratulations to the recent BFPs Wonky and Ever! I'm thrilled for you!!

Bear, I was exactly in the same situation as you, got unlucky at IUI but my first IVF was the one so fingers crossed the same happens to you!

On the subject of CMV, I'm also CMV- and used a positive donor (there was no - donor I liked). My clinic had no issue with this, I just had to sign a form to accept the risks.

Best of luck everyone else. I've only got 9 more weeks at work before my mat leave starts (and 11 to due date!). Time to sort out the baby's room I guess!

Thanks pez I am feeling quite positive about the move to ivf (apart from the wait for consents and the cost 😂). I went back to the success rates from my clinic and it all looks positive and have been reading a thread of ladies undergoing IVF at my clinic and there have been a lot of positives vibes.

This thread has got quiet of late (so much success that there are not many people cycling anymore 😀).

Re: cmv, after doing a bit of research I decided against getting tested. I decided that as I hadn’t heard of it before it wouldn’t have even crossed my mind if I was in a relationship and the risks seemed so low. Also the number of cmv -ive donors was so low that I decided I wouldnmt restrict in that basis

munro what kind of issues do you see? I imagine it is with kids that are made through chukka chukka and the parents did not even think to get checked?

Wow pez time is flying by!

Natural conception yes and often the children have other issues but CMV present for
Deafness
Learning difficulties
Language impairment
Respiratory difficulties

That's only the ones I've seen. I'm sure many many babies are born with CMV that don't have difficulties and therefore I don't see them...but your view gets skewed when you only see the negatives.
And seen as my clinic has plenty of CMV neg donors then I didn't see why I would risk it.
It's the same for alcohol. I see so much foetal alcohol syndrome that I won't touch a single drink during the TWW (or beyond if I ever get there) bit I have many friends that have had a drink ( for a special occasion or the like). The UK guidance on drinking isn't that clear but I've seen too much to risk it.
If my child has difficulties I want to know that it's not something that I have caused.

That's so sad about alcohol syndrome Munro, as you say, it's something that can easily be avoided. I'm really tempted sometimes as some people say I can have a drink but I'm the same as you, I want to know that I've done everything to prevent issues with my baby.

On the cmv conversation, I meant to say yesterday that donor sperm used for IUI and iVF is generally washed and frozen and therefore the risk of transmission is near impossible. I also thought that if I hadn't contracted the virus at 34, then my body is probably immune to it. Yet, I have avoided being around sick kids these last months!!!

munro that is so interesting and I 100% agree on your POV. Especially after 2 MCs everything in my power to carry to term a healthy baby I will do.
Any evidence that occasional sigar binges cause harm? Sugar continues to be my nemesis- despite kicking other habits like smoking and drinking.

Congratulations wonky!!

Kwick unfortunately there is some evidence that high insulin levels (released in order to regulate sugar) is not good for fertility. Lots of really interesting information in 'It starts with the egg' book that I found a few months back. Not sure how much of it is relevant if you are having donor eggs though. I expect an occasional bit of sugar won't do any harm as long as you are not always going crazy with it. Giving up smoking and drinking is much more important.

Popping in to catch up on the thread and say congratulations to everyone who's had bfps! How exciting! AF arrived today for me so we have baseline scan on Thursday for our next try. Crossing or fingers thay were have another BFP and this time it continues. All we can do is keep hoping! Xxx

I don't think I have anything constructive to add to cmv debate. First time round did go for cmv neg donor as I was too -but don't even think my original clinic was even bothered. Must have been wound up by it for some reason at time but I think had a mad tick list wanting to make sure everything was belted and braced.

How is it going wonky? Have you continued doing pregnancy tests or are you zen about that? Got as far as booking a viability scan?
NHS ante natal team will allow me an early scan due to previous loss but between 8-9 weeks, so may still get another before hand. Clinic appear to want me to get scan between 6-7 weeks which I think is a bit early and I want between 7 and 8. Good luck me trying to figure that out so the free ones are spread out and I can be reassured by an earlier scan too. First tings first I have another beta/ hcg test today. The last one am hoping!!

Good luck on this forthcoming cycle wish. Everything crossed.

And bear no reason not to think that ivf will give you yr baby. Just more of a supportive step and higher odds.

kwick intralipid infusion as part of an Immunes protocol. Not fully clear why I need.... I think serum are just throwing everything at me but she did also mention as a thyroid support, as this being an auto immune disorder!! Getting bloods for thyroid levels today too

I am not doing too badly ever. Have done one more test since Friday and the line was darker than the previous one so hoping that is a good sign all is going well. I am trying to be fairly zen about it but not managing very well. They don't actually do beta testing at my clinic so that is all I have to go on. But I also think I can smell the hcg in my urine randomly! Sorry if tmi. I had a UTI during my 2 weeks of stims but it seemed to go away after only 1 day. Then after I had my trigger injection I noticed my urine smelt funny for ~3 days and I thought the UTI had come back despite no other UTI type symptoms. However, towards the end of my tww I noticed the smell had come back and it has continued since then! I have my scan on 19th October which will be 6+6 so hoping the odd smelling urine continues until I can get proper reassurance from that!

Unfortunately had to tell my boss and the departmental secretary yesterday as I was down to do several lists that I should not be doing during the first trimester. My boss didn't react that well! Obviously surprised but also not that happy that I would be taking time off as not that many people are happy anaesthetising small babies. I guess it's good to be valued but was a bit awkward tbh.

When are you going to be starting with the ivf bear?

Fingers crossed for this cycle wish.

Thanks ever hope your beta went well today?

Shame you had to tell work wonky and annoying that they were not very supportive. I would like to think regardless of the work impacts that they would be happy for you. Work stuff will sort itself out, it usually does.

I am not entirely sure when i’ll be starting am a bit in limbo until my consent appointment on the 20th. I have to get hiv and hep tests before starting so booked in for that on 16th. On 20th I will find out my protocol and then I guess it will depend on where I am in my cycle and how that links to protocol. Expect to start Nov or Dec depending on how that works out. Also need to order more swimmers so going to get that sorted this week so they are ready and waiting. Thinking about just 1 vial for IVF (I ordered 3 for IUI anyone got any advice on how much to order for IVF?

Frustrating that your boss wasn't more positive Wonky. So sad when people immediately jump to impact on themselves (staffing issues) rather than being pleased for the individual. Grr

Thought you'd all like to see the little one, all measuring exactly to date. Heartbeat of 153
Living up to being a pickle as was standing on its head at one point 😂 and making it difficult to take measurements. blood tests and scan together show low risk for abnormalities.
Was the most amazing sight and so clear, waving its little arms all over the place 💕

Aww how lovely pickle and glad to hear everything is ok. Hopefully the next 6 months fly in 😀

Ah Pickle what a joy!!

Congrats Pickle must be so lovely to see

Amazing pickle, glad it is all looking good.

Bear I thought about this quite a bit and think the number of vials you request depends on several things.

1. Where are you getting your sperm from? If you are getting it from xytex for example you need to pay shipping costs so might be worth getting more than one, also your clinic will probably charge admin costs if you go elsewhere so need to decide if you are willing to potentially pay that more than once.
2. Are you planning on trying for a second at some point? If you are, do you want them to have the same donor?
3. How bothered are you about your choice? If you have a particular favourite then maybe get more than one in case they don't have stock later on. I decided to get 2 units from xytex in the end as I really struggled to find a donor that I liked and I wanted to be able to have a second try with the same donor if it didn't work out first time.

Thanks wonky, I get it from ESB and my clinic has a relationship with them so only £100 shipping. My fear is that it won’t defrost properly (although this hasn’t happened in any of my 3 IUI treatments). I would like a sibling but given my age and the cost of IVF I don’t think i’ll be trying for another.

So Bear it was declared yesterday that my beta levels and progesterone were great for the day! Hurrah!

Tbh wonky I d still have rather not had these tests and be in blissful ignorance. The Hcg seems to be rocking its grooves today, feeling quite nauseas. I had a lot of sickness last time, and I know will find this the most reassuring thing. I have to book a scan now, but personally would prefer for it to be around the 7+3 mark, just because if the embryo was a late implanter (which could be logical given the original hcg level) then I d rather not have the worry of having to return for a second scan, if not enough can be seen.
I'm not sure what I'm smelling of my own urine, could be hcg, can also smell vegetable fat from these damn pessaries....sigh!! What a ballache re your boss and your list situation.

Great pics pickle. We have an acrobat in our midst.

Thats brilliant ever I look forward to hearing all about the scan in the coming weeks