30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

haha, here you are!

You slutty MONSTERS, using and abusing my poor Mitchell like that

Although Queen Humpletina can have a go whenever she wants, as a visiting dignitary. He's all yours, milady

Am v glad you've brought the Docs over, VAG, but why do all your consultations require the use of Victorian 'Feminine Stress Relief' vibrating probes?

Laurie, am glad you're managing to have a nice day. UnBESHy hugs from me

And Pooface, I second Pretty In Pink! I can't believe your sexification wont work its magic later - hell, I'm turned on from your description - but if TG moans just yell 'Is your back connected to your cock? No, now gerronwithit!'. That's the way I roll, beyatches. Oh yeah, I know the sultry and seductive ways to inflame a man's ardour

Wotchoo all doing?

By the way Scorps, Mitchell was well lush.

I guess I should be glad others have benefited from my expert training That'll be £250, thanks.

Er, can I pay you in gin?

I am so LOVING the new fred title.

Pleased to see that the new BESH palace is still a abfab den of gin-dom! I like what you have done with the place. Espesh the private rooms upstairs. Not sure which I prefer, the S&M themed room or the cocktail factory?

Really hoping that your new supply of gin contains mega preggo boosting properties and that we see you over at the PESH deli soon.

I is saving you biatches the best pate and french blue cheese as an incentive.

I guess I should be glad others have benefited from my expert training That'll be £250, thanks.

Whah? I only posted once

Sadly, Aries, I am the lone teetotal BESH. Cash, cheque or paypal, your choice.

Hi(ho) SilverLining! How are things going?

You is all just jelus of the list. So ner.

Yo Yo Scorps

Do likes what you have done with the Palace - the decor is very modern and the endless supply of gin is certainly a god send and an absolute necessity.

I is well fanks for asking. Well not amazingly well, due to symptoms and shiz. I has good days and bad days.

However, wot I will moan about is my fecking hayfever. Man, I look a mess, I is suffering and I can do sod all about it. I knows that my minor allergies are nuffin compared to yours but in my world being awake half the night cos I am too hot and itching like a feral cat, I was certainly not a happy bunny!

So what 'ave I missed in the BESH palace? What's new?

Oh God, is anyone watching Shameless? Anyone up for a bit of Maguire-jizz? Eeeeeeeuuuuuuuwwwwww!

Well, yet again, I've only managed to get less than 5 hours sleep a night. Am so tired all the time - can't go to gym, can't rouse self to do housework, am shit at my job and it can't be good for reproductive help, either. Arse arse arse.

(And yes, I know it's good training for when I have a baby, but it's no help when it's making me too ill to win one!)

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAN!

Five hours? You're bloody lucky

more toddler vomit last night. Now I have a dodgy tummy to complement the copious blood loss.

I actually had a good couple of hours of positivity yesterday,so sorry you lot missed it!

We're arranging a break fir mr gin's birthday,mum n dad gonna have mooch for a bit and we are going to...well,sleep lots probably.

Can everyone send Most Excellent BESHy vibes to extreme? she has laproscopy today.

Also I win the prize for having met most beshes. Tho the prize,apparently,is not a baybee but these yer magic beans... which look a bit mouldy actually.

Poas today to see what my twat of a body doing. The + is now very faint so is def all over.

Oh yeah,nice new palace n all that shiz. I'm going to lie under the optics in the bar with my mouth open.

Good morning, Beshes.

I also have a dodgy tummy and a toddler who decided 4.30 was a good time to get up this morning.

Gin big smooch to you

If you like I'll stand over you pressing the buttons. Doubles?

Scorps if you're not at work, go and get some goddam sleep, you poor cow.

Have just watched OBEM and I apparently the lesbian lady (sorry, can't remember name) gave birth to a six month old. Did you SEE the size of it? I appear to be giving the impression that all I do is watch television. Sadly at the moment that's more or less true

Meant

Gin forget the optics - I have speshly rigged up the gin to this 'ere tap, and put a nice chaise longue underneath. There you go pet, open wide. We now a new service that you might be interested in - intravenous caffeine? Poor Mani and poor you. Iris hasn't been sick since yesterday afternoon (more sheets to change) but she now has the squits instead. I am constantly chasing her around with a potty in one hand and bog roll in the other.

Extremedressinggownedone will be thinking of you today, hope it goes well and you get positive results. If you do actually get results today? Not sure how that works.... And I do hope the dog has stopped puking all over the pups/house/crate.

Scropy soz you not sleeping. I can sleep for england but still wake up feeling shattered. TG and the quack reckon my rhinitis is causing me to snore so badly I'm waking meself up all the time.

OH NO did I miss OBEM last night? Goddammit.

Extremelybigeasteregg I hope today goes really well.

Poo, if I fall asleep on you on Saturday, please don't take advantage of me (without filming it so I can watch later)

Poor little Iris and poor big Poo having to clean up all the, er, poo. I really hope she gets better asap

And poor old Gin. Can I sit here and stroke your hair whilst you mainline booze? C'mon, put your head on my lap

Yeah, the lady having the forceps delivery was most ouchsome to watch. I bawled my eyes out after they repeated that clip of JoyBESH finally seeing her baby after 58 years of IVF.

Ooooh yeah, and GOOD LUCK extremelyfabulous Have got everything crossed for ya

good luck, extreme

Hope it all goes well extreme thinking of you today.

She's still waiting and has not got tinternet but I passed on all the beshlove n she says ta.

Right. Rome,Paris or Barcelona? I wanted to go somewhere that would actually be hot enough for sunning/swimming but not sure I can get flights on right dates from right airports.

Thoughts please laydeees?

Oh and thanks all. scorps a non pervy cuddle/hairstroke is just what I need (don't tell anyone though cos I am obviously still a double hard bastard really. Honest. I didn't wail 'i want my muuuuum!' this morning,that was,errr...someone else. Or the wind or sumfin.)