30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

Hurray!

My sister has a chocolate labrador...

OH MY GOODNESS ME!!!!!!!

Ha ha they keep changing! Has MN been hacked by snack manufacturing companies?!

Shortbread? oh, yes please

just come in to say 'appy birfday Aries.... Hope goin' down the spar cheers you up.

Passed on all the lovin' to extreme,haven't heard from her yet today. Poor darlin,is tough.

Thanks for my messages too birdz. Am actually ok. This was nowhere near as bad as the last 2. Am currently focussing on sorting out lush few days away over mr gin's birthday (I am going to need distracting so I don't start moping about the awfulness of that day last year.)

poopy hope smallpooopy is better soon. Mani seems to have segued effortlessly from poo to snot I was up with him for nearly 2 hours last night (from 3.30am mmmm nice) as he was all coughy and upset. And scared of a mystery toucan. Strange kid.

Mum n dad coming up tonight yaaaaay! Means I get to chill as they are The Wirld's Best Grandparents. I won't even have to get up if mooch wakes in the night and I get a lie in. Mr gin is feeling rough and has been working crazy hours so he is glad they coming too!

Smooches n kneecappings all round.

What happens if you say chocolate?

I am cementing the ESH part of the BESH tag. There are potential opportunities at work to go abroad for a year. Which would be all kinds of aces. But mean no baybee for a while. I can't go on secondment and get immediately diffed. I have expressed an interest and decided to wait and see if I might be offered something. I might actually annoy the Daily Mail and postpone baby for career. Which I wouldn't have thought I'd want to do. I am a bit shocked at myself.

No need to make a decision yet anyway, I might not get to go. And if I don't hear anything before SWI can begin again I will resume SWI. But until then it's a very exciting prospect.

Nothing happened! CHOCOLATE!

Damn, it's past 1pm, bet that's why.

I know, I know! BUMSEX!

Spar was great thanks (hilarious convenience store joke is because when I told Sister I thought I was going to a Spa she thought...yes , she thought I meant THE spar. You see?!!!!)

Anyway did Bumsex work?

Obviously not.

Watch this BESHies - this'll make you smile (though they did miss out barren middle aged career women in their thirties selfishly trying to have babies)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI

I heart that Dan & Dan song so hard. Hello all, have the last few hours without me been as an aching void within your very souls? No? Well fuck you very much!

I would recommend ballet lessons for all current and future offspring - I've just avoided falling over on the bus due to a crazy braking driver by pulling a full arabesque, complete with loads of shopping bags. Mind you, I probably looked dafter than if I had just fell over but that's not the point. My balance is tha shizzlay, do you hear?

TYF is now in Devon till Tuesday. I have gone mad already. Am really missing him. Just like the train he and his brother missed because they chose to scoff at me when I repeatedly pointed out that they needed to set off more than 20 mins in advance when the train station is about 40 mins away. SIGH. £100 of our non-existent cash the replacement ticket cost Waaaah, I just need my TYF! I've been crying everyday since my last droid over the fear and stress of babyfail and now I'm going to be on my lonesome for yonks. Pathetic. Please beat me senseless. But don't touch my beautiful face!

Oh Scorps, come and stay with me and we'll go loopy together and inflict comedy violence. This is the first time for years that my sis hasn't been down for Easter and why? Because she's up the feckin duff. What a beyatch. Your man sounds like mine - operates in a completely different time zone to everyone else.

...

Hello lovelies

I am home! Hallelujah! Am also very traumatised and am having a light glass of white wine with my pain killers.

So I went in for my Laparoscopy yesterday. The first part of the day all I could think about was a cup of tea. I don't function without tea first thing in the morning. I wasn't allowed anything - food or drink - and tea was all I wanted. Finally went in at about 1:45pm

The operating room was terrifying. I hadn't thought of that. And they couldn't find a vein in my hand. Was scared.

Then someone woke me up and the consultant told me that my tubes were extremely badly damaged, so much so that they had to operate on me for two and a half hours, removing my left hand tube and attempting to create a new hole in the right hand one. Something about the little fingers being buried or something... I dunno. The good news is that my womb is in good shape.

So they reckon I have 30% chance of conceiving naturally over the next 6-8 months but that we should start trying again over the next six weeks until we can see the consultant again. The impression he gave me was that he didn't think there was much chance so it was probably worth pushing things along with IVF whilst my workings have been flushed out.

Am drugged to the eyeballs and very confused. Don't know how to feel. Have waves of panic that my worst fears are coming true. All in all a bit shocking tbh.

Just wanted to thank you all for your incredible support. Gin kept me sane with your messages whilst I was stuck in hospital and I have been catching up on here since I got home. I can't tell you how much it means to have you all rooting for me, especially seeing as hardly anyone in RL knew I was going in and my Mum and Dad are out of the country for another 3 weeks.

I heart you all

That sounds really scary extreme. And what a lot to take on board. I am glad they're looking after you though.

Scorps I have a selection of, ahem, equipment here to furnish the Playroom. Shall we start with the leather paddle?

I would love that, AryanNation , but I (hopefully) have a hot date with Polly this weekend. That is, if little Boo gets better and the Ann Summers delivery comes on time

How dare your DSis win a baybee? Other peoiple do it deliberately, like I said this morning. There's no other motive behind their pregnancies but mocking us.

scorps my BIL and his other half are coming to visit from your way on Monday. Sure they wouldn't mind having a random stranger along for the ride...

we're here when you feel lonely.

Aaargh, didn't see your post, extreme. I'm so glad you're feeling better, my little treasure. You've been so brave, and that must be some scary shit to hear (as well as have done), but at least you now have some solid facts about what's going on in your unmentionables. 30% chance sounds decent enough - is better than my chances just by dent of me being 37 Come and put your feet up in the BESHpital - strong builder's tea in your drip and adorable scampering puppies (trained never to touch the abdominal region when they're bouncing ) in baskets to stroke to your heart's content.

I totally get that this must be sending you barmy with fear and panic. Whilst you all know that I'd be freaking out to dignitas-booking levels, I like to unhypocritically offer sensible words of solace and what might help you once you're fully over the physical effects is to turn this on its head: instead of focussing on the bad stuff they've found, try to hold onto the fact that you've had helpful treatment that has now improved your chances and that the specialists are clear about what your issues are and if you do need IVF, then you will be able to start it sooner rather than later, seeing as you won't be needing loads more investigations eating up swathes of precious baby-making time. Maybe not the kind of solace you want, but knowledge is power.

Now I'm going to shamelessly break with protocol - c'mere for a huuuuuge hug and kiss

shit - I did the same. Glad you are home now extreme. Really feel for you - sorry you had to come round and take in so much. But here's hoping it does the trick and they keep supporting you to make sure you win a baybee. Give your head a chance to clear before you start pondering too hard and be good to yourself

extreme, what a lot you've been through . It must be extra hard with your folks being away. I can't imagine how you feel but send you lots of positive thoughts and good luck. Take care, lovely.

Thanks you guys. Think I'll be taking myself to bed in a minute. Don't know what else to do with myself this evening. Will check in again at some point tomorrow - hopefully with a cheerier disposition x

We don't expect anything from you except a flash of your knockers you looking after yourself and doing and saying and behaving exactly how you need to to cope (disclaimer: this does not involve kidnapping a small child from the supermarket). Take it easy, Greasy I heart ya! xx

extremelybraveandverysplendid I am pished on gin and Ayckbourne* so I can't write much in a sane or sober fashion but wanted to say that it all sounds just ghastly, and that the fact you were able to write about it with good humour and perfect punctuation so soon after The Event means that you are a BON OEUF of the first degree and my new BESH crush, so there.

*because I am ever so smart and kulchered like that

Oh Jesus and actually that came out drunkenly arch and totally out of keeping with the gravity of the situation. Fucking bunny emoticon, totally inappropriate. Just can't find the words, if you see what I mean. Best I go to bed. Sending unBESHly love.