30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

Stremie Sorry for all the shitness. But do as the wise people say, use your to kick some ass. Particularly like Humpy's suggestion of requesting your notes. It is NOT acceptable they way they have treated you - and it's the people who make noise that get seen to so get onto them. Very for you though

Ah, fuckbuckets, choguevara. For some reason I assumed that they'd just magically start treatment at the info session. Should have known that it wouldn't be that easy...

I totally agree streme to get a copy of your notes. Freedom of Information & all that shiz.

Also by sending it in an email firstly keeps a written record. Also you can take your time to write it, making sure that you have everything in there. You should definitely pursue this. I know you prolly feel exhausted, but honestly this is just 100% not acceptable.

Sorry for my "foot in mouth" suggesting you should make up some symptoms, when you've had RL infections & shiz. All the more reason for a 6 week check up.

As for your sister's offer (what a fab sister & a kind offer) I can totally understand you feeling torn. Completely my opinion but i'd deal with one thing at a time & put that offer to the back of your mind. But that's just my tuppance worth.

Jeez, I just still can't believe the incompetence .

They wouldn't like me when I'm angry

(I've gone for colour ref there, not envious about anything!)

cho still for your wait too. Sorry, kind of went off on a rant on stremes shiz.....

Gaah...the Big Kahuna Nurse is now out of office until 27th. Wha'Evaaahh!!!

Lets go track her down and fuck her up Cho !!!
Sorry for going missing and also sorry for ranting me me me shiz I wrote you an essay in your other place.

Remembered two other angry-making things (I know I'm being selfish but I have to rant - feel free to ignore):

1. Morning of op I was brought piece of paper to sign saying that I was there to have tube removed 'cause of hydrosalpinx. Fact was consultant told me after dildocam that dark bit might be something in bowels, not confirmed hydrosalpinx. I was there for once-over ONLY not deffo to take me bits away. Had to initial changes to paperwork to back this up.

2. Surgeon 2 said we had 6 month window of opportunity to TTC naturally (30% chance of success) before buggered remaining tube started going to shit again. He felt it was best to move straight to IVF and the wheels were to be set in motion at 6 week check-up.

Am going to have a shower to calm down and tidy myself up before OH gets home from work. Tonight we will mostly be penning don't-fuck-with-me emails

Will stop moaning now. Thanks for letting me

Laurie thanks for advice on sister thing. Would not consider it at all but am so terrified by pace and fuck ups with NHS. If I have to wait 3 months for a chat how long will they make me wait it pop some potential babies in?!

swimmingagainstthestream

They have been fuckers all the way.

Do you know what's wrong with the other tube?

Your sister is the nicest human alive. having said that, although the wheels of the NHS grind slow, I'd get as many tests out of them as possible - most private fertility clinics will charge you to do the tests again. If you check guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/ it'll give you some idea of the waiting time for IVF in your area.

Perfect you are truly the fountain of all knowledge!

They have been annoying but I haven't been through half of what quite a few people have been through on here. Just doesn't bode well imho..

"Righty" has a variety of ishoos. It was all twisted and shit, not sure about the fluid thing - can't remember tbh. For shiz its little "fingers" were all gnarled up and had buried themselves into some other bit of my insides so it was deffo a no go zone. They have freed her up and cut a new hole in to enable passage. Bearing in mind I got an E in Biology, (which I was v.proud of at the time [rolls eyes]), I was surprised to hear that they usually waft about and collect eggs from both sides, but because mine had buried itself this obv. wasn't happening. My understanding is that they can get a bit wayward again after 6 months (she says cursing herself) so time is of the essence and all that. TBH, not sure if he meant "will make baby carriage poisonous again" OR "will shrivel up and never be fixable again". Does it help if I tell you his face was the picture of "You poor cow. This is bad shit"?
Probably biggest shock of all was that the consultant, during chat time, had said that losing a tube only reduced your chance of conception by 15% not the imagined 50%. I had got my head around that stat. I had not bargained for Righty being in a state as well

Enough indulgence!

My sister is the best EVER. To think I used to nag her about egg harvesting so that I could one day be her surrogate She would make very pretty and clever babies tho
I have to admit I did think that I should exhaust the NHS option first and only use her offer as desperate measure. Unfortunately I have waves of desperation several times a day!

I just don't see why they can't just focus down, do all the tests they need to do in as limited number of cycles as possible... and if they have had to make a part of your body work, surely it is to everyones benefit to get on with it WHILE it is still working

Firstly, can I state my profuse apologies for being a colossal TWAT this morning, waffling on about absolute nonsense? I was having a massive 'can't ttc for 2 months' wobble, which is frankly pathetic in light of the shite so many peeps are going through. I dunno what came over me, it was shameful

Secondly, can I say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHGHGHGH! at the breath-taking NHS incompetence I've just been reading about. Ladies, I feel it's time to get our cunt-kicking boots on again!

As if HotChaCha's shite wasn't bad enough, the fucktardery displayed by extremist's hospital is redonk. Listen, I live to hassle jobsworths and factotums and will genuinely ring them on your behalf and give them merry hell until I get you seen as soon as possible. I'm serious, I would do that for you. The key phrase I use - and it sadly applied perfectly here - is: 'Why am I expected to suffer due to your incompetence?' Or 'Can you explain to me why it acceptable to do this to me just because a member of your staff is incapable of doing their job properly?'. You cannot let them get away with this - you should not have to wait so fucking long, when time is totally of the essence for you, just because some loser made a mistake.

Your sister sounds amazing. Although thinking about taking accepting her offer must feel weird, I second the notion of taking her up on it and going private to get treatment going whilst you're in this vital 6-month period, if the NHS are going to be cretins and drag their heels. Think about how much you love her and how you would do anything for her and then understand that's how she feels about you and realise that it would far more insulting to her that you wouldn't take up the offer and missed out on getting things done in this ideal time frame, than for you to take the cash full stop.

You are also amazing and I am just so on your behalf. If I lived nearby, I would be coming round now with a box of chox and wearing a low-cut top for you to snuggle into

Thirdly, can I just say that ChoCho's Boyf is a knob-jockey?

Waaah, have I driven you all away?

Watching Nick, Gordon and Call-Me-Dave-Plastic-Features.

It's Maggie Thatcher in a grotesque human-flesh mask!

Just had some exceptionally anxiety-making news. My best friend's little boy (I mentioned him a couple of weeks back - the six year old who loves science and physics) has been rushed through some tests because he's developed a worrying lump on his neck. The doc phoned her at the crack of dawn to tell her things looked abnormal and to book another hospital appt. Am so worried for him. She'll know on Thurs. Sometimes I think this having babies thing will open up more heartache than not having them .

oh gosh, Aries. Fingers crossed for a good outcome.

Oh shit, big love to your friend and her DS

Not ignoring the horribleness of that, but we need a new Fred name v soon; what was it that someone mentioned earlier?

I hope everything is ok for your friend Aries, what an awful scary thing to have to go through.

Scorps pls to make a thread using the words 'dildocam' 'joe mangel' and 'gusset watch'. I declare you must do it as Poo did last time and she won a baybee. You are our June totem pole.

Hells bells you lot can talk! Aries I hope your mate's son is ok, how utterly scary. Thinking of you all and I hope it turns out to be nothing to worry about. Big squeeze.

Cho and eggstreme I am stunned and so at NHS fuckwittery. Streme did you compose your email? It makes me so fucking angry - having to deal with infertility is stressful enough without having to deal with extra crap. Gah...

Lyra is there any news of Pops? All appendages crossed that he is on the mend.

Scorps I agree you must sort out next fred, you have such a way with words. BTW anyone heard from Cuntshine?

I am mostly not feeling duffed. It is weird. I do not have v sore boobs, or any other such symptoms. As I haven't POAnymoreS or taken temperature, I am wondering if perhaps I imagined it all. It seems the menkulness doesn't disappear... poor TG.

Shit aries hope your friend's little boy is OK.

I'm going to indulge in a completely selfish me me me moment, so please just move along. Nothing to see here.

Friend's birth announcement this morning. Little boy. I'm thrilled for them, but........

Its weird. They're good friends but they also bring me the most heartache. I may have mentioned the boyf & I were briefly engaged a few years ago. Went tits up, cancelled wedding, split up for about 8 weeks. 2 weeks after we split up this couple went away & got engaged (the guy had it all planned weeks before the boyf & I went tits up). They went on to marry the following year (yes, the year we would've married), the following year had a beautiful baby girl & now 2 years later have their little boy.

Basically in my fucked up view they have what should've been my life .

Fuck, how self absorbed & self pitying does that sound?

Thankfully am not in work as I've been in tears since the boyf rang from work with baby news an hour ago.

I can't even get pissed as I'm on the fucking 2 WOOFL. Even though I'm sure its pointless. Why would this month be any different to the last 36?

Its at times like this when I realise how much I really do want a baby. I've spent so many years of my life saying nah to kids that I sometimes have myself totally convinced. Then someone else's happy news sends me over the edge.

Today I have to buy a wedding card for one friend & a new baby card for this couple - happy happy joy joy.

Jesus, some friend I sound......

Wah wah wah..............

As you were.

Morning Ladies

Mortified at my "Me-Me-Me's yesterday. Have calmed down about it this morning and have to say talking to you lot about it really made all the difference. So THANK YOU Plan this morning is to telephone appointments and do a better job of moaning at them. If they are all "you'll take what you are given" I'm gonna kick off and will follow it up with email demanding notes etc etc. Can't believe I am being so meek about it all. Was not meek in previous life. This last year has really knocked the confidence out of me.

Sorry I missed your brilliant post Windofchange and don't apologise for venting about what's worrying you. Thats what this place is here for. That and nipple tweaks obv!

Aries hope everything works out for your friends child. You are quite right - this trying to win baby thing is only the beginning of the heart-pain. As I tell OH all the time, if there were any way to switch off the desire to procreate, once it had kicked in, I would SO do that. Whole thing utterly terrifying from start to finish.

I have been wondering about Cuntshine too. Are you lurking lovely?

Poo you are duffed

Streme, I thought your posts were remarkably un-mememe, considering the stress you've been put under! You give 'em hell, girl - you deserve much better treatment, so go get it. Good luck! And remember: 'So what you're saying is that I have to suffer and be put under an immense amount of stress just because a member of your staff can't do their job properly? Could you explain how that is acceptable or fair, please?'. Not suggesting you don't know how to hassle 'em, just trying to be helpy

Lozza, you are not a bad friend, you are just normal. TTC does bring out the worst in all of us, but even so, I don't think you're being particularly crap. You're allowed to think and feel whatever you want; it's only if you reveal the mean feelings that'd make you bad.

Poobrain, you have a Boo Two. We knows it, so chilllllllllllll...

As for the noo fred name, I am stumped! Get me; lost for words

How's about:
30s TTC - our BESH GussetWatch ever, with guest star Joe Mangel?

I've made it - come find it!

Scorps I think you should go into business complaining on other people's behalf! Streme really hope you can knock some sense into them, I'm astounded at the incompetence (which sadly seems to be the case all too often round here).

Laurie that sounds really tough on you. It's so hard that other people's good news comes with a bitter twist when it's the news you want for yourself. Doesn't make you a bad friend at all, just human.

Really hope all's OK for your friend's wee one Aries, that must be so very scary.

Can I nab the last post?

Yes, I can, I can. I shall wipe down the tables, turn off the lights and put the closed sign up.