30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

GAH! Wish I had time/knowledge/experience of any kind but am pig-ignorant on such matters and boss about to arrive and demand report (a gross imposition if you ask me, it's not as if I'm being paid...oh, hang on).

Score, I'm beating you deftly about the head with a couple of frozen mackerel, because I am not sure that you can extrapolate quite so far from pains. I mean - I know you know your body very well - but abdomen type pains are so notoriously complex and get all muddled up (ie the time I obsessively Googled ovarian pain wondering why it had swapped sides and then remembered wrenching my groinular area on a bike ride).

That doesn't help, I fear. Someone will be in soon with harsher violence and better advice, tho.

Frozen mackerel too.

Bosh. You'd done the frozen mackerel already. Ok, pollock.

Please calm down my luvverrr. It could be anything.

Scorps stop with the menkul. The one thing I know from hanging around Ectopic Pregnancy forums is that the side you feel pain on does NOT necessarily reflect the side you are actually releasing an egg from. It's the most frequently discussed thing by people who've had an EP because they're freaking terrified of things happening on their wrong side. And all the experts I've seen have advised deep breaths and not panicking as it isn't an indication.

You are not missing your chance. You are taking the steps you need to vastly increase your chances. Remember how chilled you were feeling after the needlesticks (you wrongmo)? Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and try to put yourself back in that space.

No violence, just a big hug and sneaky bum squeeze.

And anyway, I am more menkul than you ScorpyScorps as I just started wondering if you could go for the turkey baster approach this month.

Morning...

....Scoresonthedoors I usually only get ov pains on the left side - even though the oracle that is dildocam shows that both sides produce more or less evenly, so you can cross that off your list of things to be menkul about...though, having said that...I would fully applaud anything that gives you the opportunity to use that drawing again to express your feelings - have you been terrifying your art therapist again?

I contacted Create clinic ref. natural IVF and run in times, and I don't think it's worth it, because

a)by the time I get sorted it will probably only be about a month or two away from NHS treatment, and tbh, I need to think about splashing a couple of grand out just to get one month ahead - I think it would be better to save to money for when my funded treatments run out or the tories get in and steal IVF from barrens. (Trying to think up a rhyme along the lines of 'Maggie Thatcher: milk snatcher', but 'Cameron' is hard to rhyme... "David Cameron:evil to barren women" doesn't quite scan!

b)There is only a 10% success rate for natural IVF..same as iui.

So, I will wait til Barts get back to me...not sure whether I can be arsed with a battle though if it just makes me angry and frustrated

Muse ...yes, you are menkul

Lots of wiser people than me have said nice things, stinger. Here is some sympathy and a gluten-free Plamil chocolate cupcake.

cho Think is a good call on the Create thingy. The sucess rates are so low, really, that it's a lot of money to gamble with.

In other news, I managed to speak to a real nurse at Barts this morning, so you might want to try ringing today?

Muse wrongmo is now my word of the day.

Wow, AnDROMedaGalaxy...I didn't think they employed nurses any more - just an army of receptionists to keep everyone at bay! Any news?

Nothing of any funs, sadly. I wanted to ask about BMI guidelines - amazing how comfort-eating when given bad news can make you hover around the bad BMI place - and also find out when Ben's test results might be in. They reckon we'll find out if he's a genetic throwback this time next week.

LovelyLadyHumps Good luck for the test results, crossing everything for ya, (but at 'genetic throwback'...just imagining the 'rhythm of life' ad by Guinness...gills might prove useful for your children).

I've just got an email from the Big Kahuna Nurse at Barts...she says I can start IVF as soon as the Boyf gets his blood results (he can have blood taken on Monday)...but results take 6 weeks to come through...there was no issue for her about where my notes were, but I think it's because LauriePop sneaked down there late last night, dressed as a ninja, scaled the walls, cut through the glass in the window, found my notes, typed up the requisite report, and popped it into the internal mail. That's how I like to imagine things happening, anyway!

I need not remind everyone that the boyf should have got his bloods done in fucking January, but put off the inevitable due to being a needle phobe...but feel free to start every message with the phrase "Chocho's Boyf is a nob-jockey" for the rest of the day, in case he is spying...it's easy...just copy and paste, or do take the liberty of free-stylin' if anything else comes to mind. The more baroque the scorn; the better!

Chocho's Boyf is a nob-jockey

...see, it's easy!

ARGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
[Danger: Me me me moment]

Fucking bastard NHS. Not only will they not tell me my husbands latest s.a results over the phone, but they also neglected to book me in for my 6 week post-op check up and they have put off my consultants appt to the 16 JUNE. So I now don't/ won't know what the fuck is going to happen for another 8 fucking weeks so that is 11 WEEKS after an operation that should have been checked after 6.

I feel utterly fucking trapped

Chocho's Boyf is a nob-jockey

{sorry - x posts]

Chocho's Boyf is a nob-jockey

Freaky - had missed all todays bidniz. It appears we all hate the NHS. Have now read through bits wot I missed.

FF are also ignoring my request to join

Chocho's Boyf is a nob-jockey

Glad my ninja skills have been of service, cho

David DildoCam-eron. OK, I'll keep working on it.

extreme Barts was easy break in. I'll don my ninja outfit, freshen up on nunchuck skills & give those bastard NHS peoples a hiding. Seriously, the incompetence is astounding, it really is. Can't you kick up a stink & demand they give you an earlier appointment, due to their original fuck up? Or can you make up some crazy "all is not well" symptoms to get to the top of the list? All is fair in love & fertility.

Hi IslandsintheStreme,

WTF???!!

That is completely unasseptabubble.

Thanks Lou and Cho

Have been weeping with frustration and questioning myself but I am clear in my mind. Before I was discharged from hospital one of my surgeons came to my bedside (as I had requested) to explain to OH what had happened and what it all meant (I wanted to be sure that all info had been absorbed as I sometimes feel like my emotions on the subject block me from effectively communicating). Anyhoo, surgeon said they always do a six week check up to be sure everything is in order. I started weeping and said that appt with consultant wasn't for a long time after that (meant to be middle/ end of May). He reassured me and reminded other young doctor to make sure that the six week appt was booked in. As I was leaving student doctor came back to me and reiterated that the six week appt was down on my notes.

Fucking nurse practically accused me of being slack for not booking in 6 week check up myself. WTF? Its like they accuse you of fucking up to throw you off the scent. Apparently my consultant is of on her holidays. I don't begrudge her that but I would have thought this 6 week thing was the law. Does anyone know if that is the case?

I take your advice on board Cho I know I should kick up a storm. Just have to work up the confidence to take them on.

I wouldn't mind but my lowest stitches have only just started healing. Had some kind of infection (minging) and had to go to the GP to get anti-biotic cream to try and help it heal. OH was freaking out because he said it was a hole directly to my baby carriage and could cause more problems. Obv. is healing now but had been keeping myself calm by thinking "I'll be having a check up soon anyways".

Sorry to be all me me me. I desperately need to talk this through

eggstremelypissedoff A) Copy and paste your post above into an email to the fertility peeps.

B) Request your notes to make sure that the appointment was on there.

I'm fuming about this on your behalf - they have been such fuckwits through this whole process that this just seems like insult added to injury. I'm so cross I'm using emoticons

defconcho is correct. And if you, like me, are shite on the phone and go all yes, pliz, thanking you, then definitely email. Plus is in writing that way.

cho Six weeks? Is not too far away. This is good.

ninjalorry Well done on your note-stealing skillz.

Chocho's Boyf is a nob-jockey, btw.

Fucking hell Extreme , that's so awful. It's bad enough having the worry of the op, the results, and the future etc, wihtout having all the unnecessary side effects and infections...surely that is reason enough to have an urgent appointment?

Can you ask your OH to pursue it for you with the hospital...I think they need to be aware of what's going on, and how you feel.

Am actually livid.

My sister is a very successful career woman. She hasn't had children. I don't think she is intending to (much as she would make an incredible mother - much better than me). Anyways when she heard about what was going on with me she told me to look into private fertility clinics for IVF and that she would fund it. Frankly I don't think my immediate family can take much more of watching me in a constant state of depression.

TBH I completely understand how lucky I am to have the offer of financial support to make this happen. God knows we can't afford it ourselves, but it didn't sit well with me having her pay for it. Also felt it wasn't the best start - effectively having more pressure from other people for it to work.

Am now wondering whether I should just go for it. I feel stuck in limbo in every aspect of my life and now being given a date mid June... I dunno... it just feels like my life is ebbing away and I don't have the strength of character anymore to grab it back.

Do any of you know how it works? I have it in my head that if we did a cycle privately that the NHS would then not allow me to have my cycles with them. This is potentially only related to people on specific cancer beating medication. I lost my mind years ago so I can't be sure

Also, check out the Patients' Advice and Liaison Service(PALS) (or ask the OH to do it)

here

...as I am sure they help people out like this a lot, and they probably know a bit about the NHS responsibilities.

Good God, extreme and Cho, these posts should be shown to any future Health Secretary. It's so outrageous as to be almost unbelievable. This notes thing seems to be an ongoing utter fuck up in many areas - I have had awful experiences with the mental health system (not me, a close relative) and it's just the same. So cross on your behalfs (behalves?).

Choo's boyf is a nob-jockey.

Lozza you should be in a kung foo film.

Streme really 'preciate a potted history (here or elsewhere) if you want to talk about it...saves trawling through the thread...

I'm lurking. And totally fucking FUMING for extreme and cho. Don't know whether to be or or a purple mix of them both.

perfectday 6 weeks is not too bad (depending on how my cycle falls in line), but I am waiting to hear if I can have the info session before the results are in, so I am ready to go straight away if CD21 falls let's say in the same week as the results come in.

Normally they will not book you in to the info session until CD1 of your cycle, and treatment starts on CD21. SO, they might be mean and refuse to even book me until after the results come in, which would mean I could have to wait for nearly an extra month before CD1 plus 3 weeks after that for treatment...can you see why I am turning into a gibbering nutter, with images of calendar pages and the aging process blowing through my mind?

Anyway, I will let you know what Big Kahuna Nurse (I don't know what they call them these days..sister?)