Trying for another, after a battle the first time round

[tryingfortwo2]

A bit niche..?

DH and I are back in the ttc game trying for our second, currently ovulating on cycle 3 or 4 (after a chemical at almost 5 weeks last cycle).

With baby 1 it took us 13 long months, which I know isn’t long compared to some, but it really took it out of us mentally. I was doing everything under the sun (you name it, I tried it), DH was hugely feeling the pressure, and we stopped dtd for fun. Ended up pregnant the month after a hycosy.

It’s been so nice to not ttc and get back to dtd to enjoy it, and I said I’d try my best to be more chill this time (& here I am making a thread 🫠) but hard to just “forget” everything I learned last time! So quite nervous about another potential long wait, and the effects of that.

Don’t know anyone else in a similar position, so thought I might find some company here♥️

i know, it’s really daunting! So I’m cycle day 40 atm, but I’ve only had one period since having my daughter (I’m breastfeeding) but I have irregular cycles anyways! Period come back in A month and a half ago and no idea if I’ve ovulated or not yet! I’m going back to using Ovusense so hopefully that’ll give me an idea! What about you ? Where are you at!

@tryingfortwo2 I could have written your original post myself. Super similar position....

Oh hi @Peonies94 !!! 😂

Baby 10 months this month, took 15 months to conceive her... got pregnant the month after the hycosy. I will have another hycosy in 6 months if no luck by then. One very light period so far .... still breastfeeding so I don't think we are quite there with trying yet (I doubt I even ovulated), but tapping in as a super similar story and we are not far off being able to try I don't think!

Xx

@Peonies94 my baby self-weaned at 11 months and my period came back with a bang - I wished she’d been one of the boob monster babies that just kept going to keep it away longer 😂 CD40 is a fair length, sorry to hear you have to manage irregular cycles. Will you test or just wait for af? I’m 2dpo today but already having to work at not letting it consume me. I don’t really symptom spot because after trying for a year the first, I’m all too aware that for me they could be af or bfp symptoms! I’ll test next Saturday undoubtedly 🫣

Hello @FlyOnTheWall89 delighted to meet another similar story, but equally sorry you had a tricky time first time round! Think that’s my plan with the hycosy too.. let the new year pass and if still no luck I’ll contact the private clinic again (and hope they don’t mind repeating just a standalone test..). We didn’t get ours on the NHS as the covid backlog was massive and we’d have a year+ wait after the year we’d already waited.. I was gritting my teeth at the cost but turns out it’s the best money we’ve ever spent!

We know quite a few couples who got pregnant whilst still bf without any periods.. wild! But I guess you never know..🤞🏻🤞🏻

@tryingfortwo2 wow that’s amazing! My baby is 11 months now and can’t imagine that happening! I do wish she wouldn’t feed so much at night though 😂! So we haven’t started trying yet, but hoping if I get a second period we will try then! I’ll have my ovusense then that will track my ovulation and and we’ll do SMEP which we did last time!

a@FlyOnTheWall89 hello 👋! How crazy is this? We were on the journey together last time for a year together and just came back at the same time to try again! Hope you’re doing well! I’m so not ready to go through this all again, but want my periods back desperately so that I can get on with it!

@Peonies94 we had a hell of a bf journey - I triple fed for 13 weeks. It was so hard. But in the end I loved it so, so much that I wish she’d wanted to do it for longer 😂

We tried SMEP when ttc for number 1 but in all honesty it was so much more than we normally dtd (we’re a twice a week on av couple I’d say) that it was just too much. My DH ended up with performance issues and that opened a whole can of worms even when we stopped SMEP as it was in his head. Thankfully that’s in the past (hopefully) so month we did CD10, 13, 15 & 16 and I ovulated on 16/17.. so well covered I think 🤞🏻

@tryingfortwo2 ahh amazing you stuck at it though, I found the first few weeks so hard at times!
Yeah it is so much, and so hard!! We found it really difficult too, but it was our only option really, as I have such long cycles some were 60 days long so we would just do every other day from day 7 ish and then stop about 4 weeks later 😭! Yeah it was way too much for us, after I was pregnant I thought I’d never want sex again! We rarely DTD now, it’s an occasion thing 😂 not sure how we’ll manage it so many times with a little one to look after! Nervous already! Yeah that sounds well covered to me!

How lovely is it that you both were trying for number 1 at the same time and now you’re here again?! 😂

@Peonies94 every other day for 4 weeks?! Good LORD you pair deserve a medal 😂 We were the exact same and if I’m honest I don’t think we even dtd once my whole pregnancy! We both blamed that on nausea & other pregnancy bleh days, and then him being weirded out when we could feel baby moving around, but if I’m totally honest I’m pretty sure it was the aftermath of a brutal time trying! It then took us a fair while even after LO was born to get back into the swing of things haha. It’s another reason I’m quite nervous about the next little while, we’re in a really good place again with dtd and I don’t want to go back there.

@tryingfortwo2 i know, it was so hard and forced, but i was so desperate to get pregnant! It was much more of a business transaction than anything else from about month 5 onwards! Same; we did once when pregnant and I can count on both hands how many times since our baby has been born! Nervous too on how this is going to go! I’m hoping it’ll be easier this time, I really am!🤞🏻 I’m trying to be relaxed but I can already feel the pressure building up already this early on, it’s like everything from last time has come flooded back!

God we DTD maybe TOO much!!! Once Every day and twice at weekends 😅 since actively ttc again its been pretty much the same as it always is, I worried the first time we did it after the coil was out that DH would feel pressure to perform but once that first one was done we've just been at it as normal!

But I don't want to change anything or become strict or to a regimine it will be what happens happens. Only things we've done is I'm on folic acid he's on a multip-vit

@Peonies94 we got back to twice a week (on average) and very much enjoying it haha. But who knows what this journey will bring..😩

@MerryMissie wow, every day and twice at weekends!!! That’s so impressive haha. I think I’ve got a healthy sex drive but I don’t think I’d have the energy 😂 it also must be so much easier to relax into it when you know you’re guaranteed to dtd to cover it anyway. Half my stress definitely comes from knowing we have to make sure we dtd!

my boring update is that I’m now 4dpo and slowly losing the plot 🫠 hope everyone is okay!

@tryingfortwo2 ahh hopefully that’ll last!
aww I do not miss the emotional cycle of excitement to try again, stress of covering all days, then the waiting and losing the plot, then start all over again! I don’t think I’ve ovulated this month yet! 🤷‍♀️ I was hoping to get AF in the next couple of days to go for it next month, but no sign yet!

I am really not holding out for success this month as its the same month as having the coil removes so that would be a massive miracle!!! But like you say when you dtd so regularly anyway it's not like I'm having to keep too close an eye on that!

@Peonies94 I know what you mean sometimes- and I know from when I was ttc first time around- sometimes it's like come on period so I can throw myself into another cycle!!

@Peonies94 I know what you mean - it feels a lot to mentally consider going through it all over again.... but here we are! Not sure I'm ready but are you ever?!? We are not using any protection, but I don't think I'm ovulating yet. Hoping it's less of a battle for us both this time round 🤞🏻

@tryingfortwo2 yes ours was a last resort as recommended by the doctor ahead of starting IVF. But I guess we are likely to just do it privately next time round as otherwise you'd have to go through all the other steps to get to that step of you know what I mean!

@thejollytrolleydolly how are you doing? Did af show after the spotting?

@Peonies94 waiting for af when you know you’re not pregnant is so frustrating! Do you get any other signs throughout your cycle that would give away roughly where you are..?

@MerryMissie am I right in thinking you’re not tracking LH or anything?

@FlyOnTheWall89 are you waiting for af before you start ttc?

@tryingfortwo2 i can’t really remember to be honest! I use to just go by what my ovusense said🤷‍♀️! I also haven’t been paying lots of attention recently as I’ve only had one period with BF! Time will tell I guess!

Hey @tryingfortwo2 yeah it did 😩 onto the next cycle! I'm hoping to get some answers from my fertility testing soon so fingers crossed they can help! How are you getting on? X

@tryingfortwo2 yeah no tracking here but who knows if I get to 6m+ (again) I might start...

Fingers crossed for next cycle @thejollytrolleydolly how long have you been ttc again?

@Peonies94 fingers crossed you don’t have too long to wait for either ov or af so you know where you’re at 🤞🏻

@thejollytrolleydolly ahh sorry to hear! Hope you’re doing okay? When is your fertility testing, coming up soon? I’m okay, though feeling particularly nuts/consumed this month haha.

@MerryMissie i remembered you saying you were mid-cycle a few days ago.. which means we’re at roughly the same stage I think? I wish I had even half your chill, oh wise one 🙏🏻

@tryingfortwo2 I feel like I'm nuts every month 😂

I've had 2 blood tests to check my LH and FSH levels and one to check my progesterone. I also have a pelvic scan next Monday to check for cysts and endometriosis. I've got a call Wednesday with the fertility nurse so I'll see what she has to say. Hopefully I gain some insight as to why it takes 300 years to just get a positive pregnancy test! 🙈 good luck for this month though! What day are you on? I'm cd3 lol I've got a loooooong way to go! X

@thejollytrolleydolly I’m sorry if this is too intrusive, but can I ask if you’ve had to go private for all of that because you’ve got a DC already? I’ve assumed that to be the case if we wanted any help this time but I’ve never actually clarified. Please don’t answer if too nosy! Great you’ve got appointments etc booked, I liked that last time because it felt like we were moving forward.

I’m 4dpo and today my nuts-ness peaked at peeing on a e@h hcg because it’s a new box and I keep reading stuff about how awful some batches are for false positives, so wanted to do one when I knew it shouldn’t show a second line to check the batch. I’ve lost it. I think my chemical last month has made me even more desperate! When do you roughly ovulate, have you a long wait?

@tryingfortwo2 I am mid cycle. I know myself when I'm ovulating it's that switch in "mood" and then the switch again afterwards. I know we DTD alot over when I ovulated, I estimate (because I wasn't really tracking my period before my IUD was removed) that I'm on cd 15. I usually have 26-28 day long cycles, so technically I should be due AF around 22nd/23rd. If its not come by then I'll POAS on christmas eve!

@tryingfortwo2 no it's not intrusive at all! We're all on the same journey here 😊 no I didn't have to go private. I spoke to my gp and asked to speak to a fertility specialist and had quite a frank discussion with the fertility nurse there. I told her it took 3 years to conceive my first and I was almost a year deep into trying for my second with a mmc thrown in for good measure. I told her how upset I felt each month that I didn't conceive and that I felt time was running out for me as I'm 38 now. She referred me straight away for all of the testing which was good. Even if I hadn't had issues in the past we are all within our rights to have fertility testing even if you hadn't started trying for a family yet. I've recently been listening to a podcast called "don't tell me to relax" which has been super informative and it says that no matter what part of your journey you're in you can get fertility checks on the nhs. You should enquire about it if you want them too xx

Hey can I join?
Ttc baby number 2 and on cycle 7 now with a chemical in October.
Son was conceived via ivf in the end after 18 months trying.
We can't afford Ivf any time soon so really hoping it happens naturally.