'TTC after a miscarriage - new thread'

[Janus]

Well tried to add my bit to old thread and we have reached 1000 posts again!!
Chocolatepeanut, am so sorry for what you are going through, although you sound as if you are handling it well so far. Hope things aren't too bad for you in the coming days.
Rubles, sorry if AF does arrive, bloody bitch! My blood tests will be next week. DP sperm test threw up 'abnormal sperm' and he needs to go and discuss with the GP later this week although she did say it wasn't too much to worry about. Been meaning to start a new thread on this but haven't got around to it.
I'm looking for a yoga class to try and help me relax! Do think this whole TTC is stressing me out so much, I'm so conscious of age gaps, both our ages working against us, even worrying about if we do conceive in next couple of months as worked out it would be a July or August baby (my oldest is July born and is struggling bit with school etc). Part of me thinks it may do us all some good if I just stop ttc for a couple of months, then the other half panics about an even bigger gap, etc!!
How on earth do you all manage to relax about all this stuff??

Hello all

Chocolatepeanut - so sorry to have you join us again (at least I think it is again? Sorry if I've remembered wrong - trouble with new threads!)

Rubles, sorry AF is coming {{{HUGS}}}

Well done starting a new thread Janus - can't believe how quickly we crank up the post numbers! Sorry to hear you sounding not so happy at the mo. It is so hard to relax while TTC as I find it takes over your whole thoughts. THe annoying thing is if we relaxed, it may happen more easily. But the longer it takes, the more I stress and the cycle gets worse - tricky !

I'm worrying about the age gap too at the moment, but as I can't make the gap smaller, I'm just assuming whatever the age gap is, it will be the best combination for us as a family - do you like my positive thinking? Trying to convince myself

TMI alert !!!
Actually feeling a little confused, as this grapefruit juice has made a dramatic difference to my CM quantity - I just hope I'm not about to ovulate too early - can't do any BD-ing until Fri eve. Does anyone know if a) grapefruit can make you ovulate earlier than normal? b? if milky, lotiony CM can be around for a few days until EWCM?
TMI warning over!!!

Basically can I still remain positive that I'll still be fertile by Fri eve and DH's return? Was feeling so positive about this month and now I feel a bit disheartened that I might miss it again this cycle.

Probably find now I've put it on screen, I won't ovulate at all this cycle.... must stop it. I AM POSITIVE. I AM POSITIVE!!!

I blame my Mum, she keeps telling me I will be pg by Christmas and that she read an article recently that says that patients who practice positive thinking and actually believe they will get pg, a very high proportion do conceive. It also said that after ov, you need to visualise implantation occuring! Sounds a wee bit mumbo-jumbo for me, but willing to try anything at the mo

So positive thoughts for you all and those in the 2WW, visualise that little blasto snuggling down inside you for a 9 month wait!

ok - going to go now, before you all have me sectioned!
x

ps - if anyone's still awake after that long ramble of mine, has anyone heard from LittlePolly?

I can't remember if she said she was going away for a while - I hope she is ok.

BTW Edie - I'm glad today was fine at doctor - sorry you have to wait for blood test results. Hope you feeling as ok as possible about everything. Well done on being a pin cushion practice for a student doctor!

Take care all
x

Firststar

I don't feel pg, but then I guess I don't really have to...don't know really. I don't think I will be too disappointed when the results come back if Im not pg as I just want AF to come now!!

Babyfettle - not a long ramble at all love. I often feel my posts are too long - but you can't say everything in punchy little one-liners can you? On the CM question, just be glad you don't have the EWCM yet. I would think that the grapefruit juice just increases the quantity of whatever CM you have at the time. I don't think it makes you ov earlier. FWIW I have 5 days of the fertile stuff until I ov, so you could easily be alright for Friday.
I do kind of believe the positive thinking thing, but then again I have been getting really tossed off with people recently telling me that I 'just need to relaaaaax!!' and it will happen. Does anyone else get that?

Janus, wondered where you were! One thing that MN has done for me is make me realise how normal I am, and how most of the things I am thinking are being thought by women all across the country. I have had that take time out vs I've got no time to lose argument in my head. I remember there was a woman on here called Debbsy who was ttc for a very long time then took about 6 months out and then came back and got pg on her first month, and that makes me wonder if I should take a massive break. But then the other part of me thinks 'well you're not going to get yourself pg if you don't try' and 'you're not getting any younger' and I too worry about the age gap with dd. I did have one month off in April, and it was a really nice month I have to say.
I have tried really hard to stop thinking about the age gap though. My philosophy now is that my family will be my family and there is no ideal age gap. Basically there is nothing I can do about it - the age gap is already much larger than I would have wanted, so I am just trying to be grateful for whatever I can get.
I also kind of don't want an August baby - I don't fancy being pg all through summer and then off work with a baby all through winter - but then again, at this stage I will be grateful for any time.
I wonder what the 'abnormal sperm' means?? How did he feel when he heard that? My dp went for his test last week, but I don't know when we'll get the results - maybe not until our next appointment which might be in February for all I know!!!!!!!! (Hope not). I am on at him now to really clean up his act and make a timescale for changing his lifestyle (smoking and drinking every day) because it takes 3 months until we'll see any sperm improvement after any lifestyle changes he makes, so we haven't time to waste.

Edie - I know what you mean about getting AF now, you probably just want to get something definite to happen either way, some kind of marker from which you can work forward.

There you go Babyfettle - that was a long one for you!

Good morning everybody. Thought I let you know how my appointment went. I saw a very nice doctor, young and unexperienced, but compassionate. He didn't know what's going on either and consulted a more experienced colleague. They exluded accute ectopic and don't think it's leftover hormones.
Do it might be another pg or m/c. Against better knowledge my hopes are starting to get up now, although there is no doubt that the test-line is not getting darker. So I think I might have another m/c?! I get the blood results next Tue but it's not clear to me if they can determine either way by taking one sample. Don't they have to see if the levels fall or rise? Plus, I was so distraught last week (and so sure that I am not pg) that I had lots (and I mean lots) of alc. Now I am feeling guilty on top. -- I guess 'emotionally ready' means not only that one is ready for another pg, but for another failed pg. And well in hindsight, I guess I wasn't ready for this limbo thing.

Rubles, it's impossible to relax just because
somebody (including ourselves) tells us. I think we don't have a choice but to live through it. Sharing helps.

Chocolatepeanut -- so sorry to hear.

D4phne

God I hope its not another mc for you. The blood test will be able to tell you. I wonder why we are so convinced that we are not pg? Feel sure that I am about to come on AF any day.

I had some wine last week and also took some aspirin . Feel ok about it as know Im not pg but please don't feel guilty. Millions of woman smoke, drink etc before they find out they are pg and babies are fine.

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Four of my friends had a big (and I mean big) binge about a week before finding out they were pg-maybe it's the bodies way of getting it out of the system or something? And these are friends who don't exactly drink on a regular basis.

Hi All
Funny hearing about your friends and their binge before bfp, hope they didn't have a dh like mine, I had a half a glass of champangne and a wee top up on the weekend and dh, was mad. Saying I was undoing his work and what if i'm pg.

Oh boy!!!!

Also wanted to say edie and daph your both doing well, such a confusing time for you both. I feel for you both.

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Hi all

I craved straight vodka while pg with DD - I managed to fight of the craving I hasten to add!

[I don't normally drink straight vodka either - think it just my body going - help not had any alcohol for a while, let's ask for some high strength stuff!!]

Hang in there everyone - its about time we had a BFP - shiny new thread and all that.

thanks for the reassurance about CM - I think this grapefruit must just be working and I never really noticed any CM before!!

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You know it must be quite hard for our DHs. Seeing us so anxious, would up and directly affected by what's going on. (Okay, I speak for myself here when it comes to the choice of adjectives). But my DH certainly has never seen me like this before.

Firstar, I might be a bit biased (I'm German) here, but: Beer is very high in Vitamin B and Wheat Beer a great source for Folic Acid (if you not pg -- I am not trying to make exuces here. We were even told on a science cruise to drink it agains sea sickness...). Don't know about Wodka, though.
I'll try to catch some of your babydust and throw some over to edie and everybody else. To many BFPs in November!!!!

wound up

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I think it is hard for DH/DPs - I don't think their biological clock ticks like ours do and they don't actually have to go through the process of pregnancy. I know mine doesn't like to see me suffering in anyway, as I did during and following mc, but while also hiding his own heartbreak at it all.

Here's to our DH/DPs - they may have their moments when they frustrate us beyond reason, but they are kind of vital to us all at the moment

Easy for me to say - I haven't had to tell mine yet, that alcohol is going to be seriously limited for him until i'm pg again! Not sure after 5 months of being pretty much dry while he's been away working, that that thought is going to be taken very well! Need to think how to approach that one !

Just to get to know yall better: Most of you have seem to have had a m/c after or before a succesfull
pregnancy. Are there other ones trying for the first time? Just wondering..

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Yes, I am trying for my first. That only good thing about m/c (as far as I can see) is that we have worked through a lot of things, so if it ever works out, we would have less issues to resolve.

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Hi can i join? please

I have been watching this thread for weeks and noticed how supportive you all are and that is great, could do with some people who know how i feel.
I had a missed misscarage August 16th, baby was meant to be 10 +2 but had no heart beat and was showing 6+5. I had a D&C the follwing day.
This was my second preganay and i have a very active 3.11 DS.
I have been overall handling it really well but find that some days i just break down and cant cope with normal stuff, today was bad as i worked out i would have been 21 weeks gone and have my 2nd scan due at anytime

We have activley been trying this month using opk k9it as this worked last time , i am on CD 18 and have not OV yet but before M/c i didnt ov until day 18 then and i did here that it can be a bit later soemtimes. I am desparte to be preganant again but also dont want it to take over my life! I feel so alone sometimes as no one talks about the baby that we have lost
Sorry for going on ! xx

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thank you for the welcome firststar -i see people trying not to mention the word "baby "around me excpet for BF who lost her baby at 26 weeks.
i use Clear blue digitial , bit pricy but really straight forward. get them on ebay , ork out at £16.00ish
They worked last time !!
So hoping xx