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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:10

Name: La, LaLa
Age: 34
TTC: Since July 2013, mc Sept 2014
DC: currently upduffed with a grapefruit sized DC1

OP posts:
nightandthelight · 17/03/2015 19:12

Ha love the article!

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 19:13

Country
26
Since Jan 15
No DCs just two bonkers cats.

Currently cd 6 and proud owner of bonkers fanjo which doesn't understand how to do a regular cycle!

nightandthelight · 17/03/2015 19:14

Name: nightandthelight
Age: 26
TTC: since Feb 2015
DC: 2 feline babies

Lemondrizzletwunt · 17/03/2015 19:23

Lemon
27
TTC: since Nov14
DC: a cat, a DH and currently 5+5 with something really fucking small but am assured it will turn into a baby Grin

lildottie · 17/03/2015 19:29

Name: lil
Age: 29 for about 4 more weeks
Dcs: none
Ttc: 2yrs 4 months, 1ivf bfp which ended in mc feb14 currently in wtf cycle.

SunshinePickle · 17/03/2015 19:32

Name: SunshinePickle
Age: 27
DCs: 2 fluffy cats
TTC: Since Nov '14

I've been away for a couple of Freds, but ready to come out of hiding again.

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 19:41

Name: Jelly
Age: 24 for 3 more days!!!!!!!
DC's: none, but two fat cats
TTC: since August 2014, AF returned after Depo Oct 14

Thanks for the new Fred la!! Love it! :)

Jcandy · 17/03/2015 19:59

Name: JC
Age: 30
TTC : Aug 14
DC : none mc Nov 14

Currently cd12 or maybe 4dpo or who the fuck knows coz my body has given up! Hoping to sort my head out soon in which case my body should follow!

justtheonethen · 17/03/2015 20:10

Name: just
Age: 32
DC: one fat cat
TTC: dec 2014

Currently cd6. Yawn.

Junosmum · 17/03/2015 20:12

So glad I found this thread! I thought I was the only person in the world ttc without scientific intervention! Not that there is anything wrong with that I'm just planning to try it as nature intended first.

I only came off the pill a week or so ago, I'm actually not sure when. No AF yet and very little 'fun' due to a huge argument but we've made up (and made up for it) since.

I'm 31, this would be my 1st child (my user name refers to one of my 3 fur babies). I'm married, own house, work full time and wasn't really expecting to ever being trying for a baby!

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/03/2015 20:17

Name: Sky
Age: 36 as of Sunday
TTC: got rid of the contraceptive device 5 March
DCs: DD4, DSD5

contraband free if you don't count the 4 times a day I poas waiting out the next few days hoping for a BFP and eating lemon cheesecake and NOT sharing with DP.

justtheonethen · 17/03/2015 20:18

lil gorgeous necklace, what a lovely way to remember.

Welcome junosmum we do occasionally use a bit of conraband but it is mainly just shagging so you are in the right place!

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 20:23

Welcome juno :) you're in the right place! We never use contraband ever hides thermometer good to hear you and DH made up! :)

MyBlackCat · 17/03/2015 20:26

Name: MyBlackCat
Age: 33
TTC: since Dec 13 mc June 14
DCs: none but a small black furbaby

Currently 13dpo.... AF is late if I iced when CBFM said I did

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 20:33

Name: Honey
Age: 28
TTC: Aug 14, mc Sept 14
DC: none, two monstrous nightmares! small cats

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/03/2015 20:42

Welcome juno!

lil that necklace is beautiful.

Ainat266 · 17/03/2015 20:44

Name: Ainat
Age: 27
TTC: August 14
DC: None - apart from a Jack Russell fur baby.

Diagnosed with PCOS and am practically begging AF to show up at my door.

gaggiagirl · 17/03/2015 20:46

Name: Gaggia
Age: 32
DC: 3yo cross ginger DD
TTC: July 2014 MC Oct 2015
Currently almost 11 weeks upduffed with lime sized baby

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 20:51

ga is dh stopped being a birk yet?

Hobbit19 · 17/03/2015 20:55

Name: Pud
Age: 29
DC: Lovely DH and two feline based mentalists who's current obsession is me weeing.
TTC #1 Cycle 2 of the world's longest cycles.

Hobbit19 · 17/03/2015 20:57

Jelly, I almost wet myself at your Fred filling the cats would have loved that.

Welcome Juno!

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 20:58

Pud what cd are you??

fallenstar27 · 17/03/2015 21:00

Name: Fallen
Age: 24 for another week or so
TTC: March 15
DC: None but one super fluffy cat.

Currently CD6, first cycle off pill.

Nice fred title La, welcome juno :)

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 21:05

welcome juno!

jelly your fred filling was superb!!! Here's a cat and here's a sheep - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa! I loved it!

Here's to this being a lucky Fred. I've got my money on myblackcat first bfp....after sky does confirmation on frer that is!

What do I get if I'm right? If it's chocolate then you can all be my friend. This baby likes chocolate.

Is anyone watching OBEM tonight? I'm too scared to.

OP posts: