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Conception

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We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
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21
jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 16:01

Welcome would :) contraband is strictly not allowed here except it totally is but we just do it with strike through to pretend it didn't happen

black that's naff, gx you're still in though!

lil totally know what you mean about the American thing!

I think I had EWCM earlier. I mean it was stretchy on the toilet roll, but I am suffering with the "is it jizz or mucus" conundrum!

Hey ho, will keep on shagging!

jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 16:03

i'm also burping and farting like a good un today....what the hell!

MyBlackCat · 18/03/2015 16:03

Do you think I can have wine tonight or do you think I still have a chance??

lildottie · 18/03/2015 16:12

black if you don't get Trollied you'll be fine. plancenta doesn't take over until 5wks

5hell · 18/03/2015 16:13

I'd say you still have a chance black, so maybe just a small wine

thanks for the contraband (ferning) tip lil, I'm tempted as it appeals to my geeky sci-fi nature, but reading around does seem a bit hit n miss...amazon reviews are all over the place Confused

not feeling v optimistic this month as cant recall much EW. wondering how long after coming of BC things REALLY get back to normal

jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 16:25

when did you come off 5hell

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/03/2015 16:27

I don't think mine works on my phone?!

Thank you for the rather unmumsnetty welcome, it's like one big love in minus the kum by yah and added knicker speculation. I love it already!

WouldRatherHaveWine · 18/03/2015 16:28

It worked! Far too excited

jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 16:33

haha we're all hippies Wink

rio898 · 18/03/2015 16:36

Mind if I join in?
Name : Rio
Age : 26
DC : 2 cat babies a bunny and some fish
Ttc : Dec 14
Currently cd2 following chemical pregnancy and waiting for the witch to do one so I can get back to JSing

Stoatystoat · 18/03/2015 16:43

Name: Stoat, Stoaty whatever
Age: 35
TTC: January 2015. BFP January 2015, ended in MMC February, only had the all clear last week
DC: None

I'm still pissed off!!!! I was elated after getting the all clear to try again and wanted to take advantage of the WTF cycle, only for my husband to declare it too early for him and wants to wait til next month, in part because that's what the men in white coats suggest, partly because it's raw. I'm fairly sure I'm ovulating and want to take advantage of the WTF cycle, who knows how long next cycle is going to be? It could take ages. I think I was ovulating over

It was ME who went through the shit. ME who had the internal scans, the physical pain, the time off work and now has to catch up, me paying for counselling, me who sits in bed crying some days. AARGH.

fallenstar27 · 18/03/2015 16:46

Hi wine and rio

God viroids you've been chatty today!

I'm just home from work and sneaking in last night's OBEM before I jump on dh when he gets in.

fallenstar27 · 18/03/2015 16:52

Sorry for the cross post stoat

Really sorry to hear that, do you think he'll come around if he understands where you're coming from or has he pretty much made up his mind?

gaggiagirl · 18/03/2015 16:55

stoat my dp was the same, he wouldn't let me back on the horse. He had the fear.
No advice really but I suggest you talk to him, say what you've just said here.

honeysucklejasmine · 18/03/2015 16:56

Hi Rio! Welcome welcome! So sorry about your cp. Sad Was that the first cycle? I had a mc on my first cycle and it sucks! On one hand, sex works! On the other.... Why the hell did it end?! Seriously annoying.

jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 17:00

welcome rio

stoat i don't know what to say. That's just utter shyte :(

honeysucklejasmine · 18/03/2015 17:02

Stoat that sucks.

5hell · 18/03/2015 17:11

sorry to hear DH isn't back on board stoat, as ga said all you can do is try to tell him how you feel, it might not change his mind, but maybe better to get it off your chest than let it fester, esp after all the stress you've been through.

jel took last pill in dec, everything appears "normal" but we never really know do we? i guess the irony of (in my case 17ish) years on BC isn't lost on you guys...

jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 17:20

sadly not, it takes some people months to regulate. Some people get back to normal straight away. Others, like lil take about 6 months to get back to normal. Or some, like poor ain take months and months.

Gx it's normal soon for you!

honeysucklejasmine · 18/03/2015 17:22

Do you know, that's the one thing that I am glad of - I was never on birth control.

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 18/03/2015 17:26

Welcome newbies and welcome back stoat sending a big hug and Flowers. Praying to Ian McShane your Miroid sees sense soon and gets over the fear.

jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 17:26

i don't think i'll ever go on BC again, the injection has affected me in so many ways

ChatEnOeuf · 18/03/2015 17:29

Oh Stoaty that sucks Sad - talk it out, there's no reason not to try again whenever you're both ready. There's a theoretical increased risk of another MC but it's not been consistently proven as far as I'm aware.

auroraboringalis · 18/03/2015 17:30

stoat fooking miroid. Have you told him you will feel worse if you miss it? You probably have. Besides kneeing him in the balls which would be totally cunterprodcutive (see what I did there) under the circumstances I have no further suggestions. Flowers

ChatEnOeuf · 18/03/2015 17:30

Ha Honey I've always wondered whether I'm a shah or a chat to you lot :)

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