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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
Ainat266 · 17/03/2015 21:06

Welcome juno

Just been reading about Inositol and Cinnamon as possible help for PCOS... Wary of taking anything, but I'm pretty desperate to try anything that may bring on ovulation and a visit from AF... Worried about making things even worse though...

Niffertiti · 17/03/2015 21:08

Niff
33
No DCs, no furbabies, DH won't let me have a dog also possibly it might not be fair due to long commute etc
TTC #1 since June 2014 MC March 2015 currently waiting for bleeding to end so I can get back to JSing...

God this wait is tedious...

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/03/2015 21:12

DP may have gotten a bit of an agitated response when the pink box produced from the shopping bag was in fact a Superdrug generic and not a frer! He is really looking forward to what I will be like heavily pregnant. Grin Many apologies followed! Are Superdrug any good?!

Loving the Fred title la

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/03/2015 21:14

PS the many apologies were from me! I'm not a huge bitch yet

Hobbit19 · 17/03/2015 21:21

Country, I am cd13 at the mo but previous cycle was 48 days or something daft. Meh. I'm not totally sure that I am icing but don't want to temp/opk so will just keep shagging and see what happens. Feeling quite excited about the prospect at the mo so all good and positive here. (Which is good because DH and I are both being right grumpy buggers about work at the mo!)

CountryGal4 · 17/03/2015 21:22

Cd13?! That came round quick!

jellypi3 · 17/03/2015 21:35

Well you guys finished that Fred off in style whilst I had a bath! :D

la I think i should claim sky at least if she gets a BFP not a competition at all very hopeful for sky and black tho.

I'm trumping like a good un here and I don't even have the excuse of "but I'm preggers". And they stink. Even the cats look repulsed.

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 21:42

Not watching OBEM tonight La, will watch on catch up. We're currently catching up with The Good Wife, which us fab, as you know.

Lil your necklace is lovely!

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/03/2015 21:54

jelly am totally your victory if last nights bfp gets confirmed! Lucky Fred #40!

Ewuakua · 17/03/2015 22:25

Name:Ewu
Age: 29
DC: one needy cat
TTC: Feb 2015

Hello! Ive been lurking for the duration of JS 40. you seem like a lovely bunch of nutcases so I thought its time to join in.

Congrats Sky Smile

Hobbit19 · 17/03/2015 22:34

Hello Ewu, you have a cat, you're in!! Welcome Smile Ooh lots of newbies now = lots of BFPs!

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 17/03/2015 22:38

pud I have my money on you being a surprise hit this Fred...

Welcome ewu Brew

waves at country and ain

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 22:48

Welcome Ewu! You must tell us about your cat! Is it famous, like La's, massive like Jelly's or has a urine fetish like Pud's? Wink

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 22:50

Sky super drug are good! But I would wait to do with FMU

OP posts:
LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 22:51

Hi ewu! I am owner if famouscat who is soon to be excat if he claws my brand new sofa again!

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 23:12

Shock naughty bugger!

honeysucklejasmine · 17/03/2015 23:13

Oh gosh, I didn't say hello to Juno! Sorry lovely! Welcome!

And welcome back Pickle!

lildottie · 17/03/2015 23:26

hi pickle

welcome juno and ewu

since when did owning a cat become an entry requirement. I don't have one, but I'm not leaving. not until I fuck of back to the grads with my bfmfp!

so dh is a twat. and ianbu. we hadn't shagged since Friday, so under the guise of wanting naked cuddles in the bed I started giving him a bj, which inevitably led to sex. he finished, I didn't which is normal. he usually goes to clean up/get me tissue to catch the drips then comes back and finishes me in other ways. tonight he just went and flossed his teeth, started shafting about his mum texting today, we t and got a drink. and wondered why I was pissed off. I've told him he's useless and crap. and the result is I'm sat here unfulfilled! if I could tell my 16 yo self anything it would be sex is not precious, shag around and make sure you marry someone good in bed. I'm fed up of comprising on my sex life.

ugh. rant over.

glad you all like my necklace. I'm so happy with it.

lildottie · 17/03/2015 23:28

meant to say good title la, hoping you will bring me wtf bfp luck on this one.

and also meant to tell sky to poamfs again already! the suspense is killing me! did no wierd AF completely disappear?

ain cinnamon can't do any harm

Ewuakua · 17/03/2015 23:37

My cat is more like a puppy - follows me from room to room, sits on any book/laptop im trying to concentrate on and generally isnt content until she gets a lot of fuss.
la good luck with sofa scratching, we've got a designated scratching blanket on ours.

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 23:41

Lil get your rampant rabbit out!

I used to finish myself until dh realised it was more fun for him if he joined in

OP posts:
goodnessgraciousgouda · 18/03/2015 04:29

New thread! Epic high five to jellypi for her,sterling work on filling the,last thread. I burst out laughing at the "here,is,a,sheep"!

Welcome other newbies! I wonder if newer newbies now makes me like....a non newbie? I've,graduated!

ANYWAY

name: gouda
age: 30
DC: still waiting.
ttc: since end of Jan 2015. Just starting third cycle. I had to stare at the wall for a bit to work out which one we were on!

don't think there will be much activity for a while due to massive argument last night. Pretty sure we'd both rather bury each other under a patio than have sex.

sometimes I think pray mantis is just misunderstood...Grin

Hobbit19 · 18/03/2015 06:58

Any news sky?

CountryGal4 · 18/03/2015 07:01

Waves hello all. Lots of newbies. I've only been hanging around since dec and you lot are making me feel like I've been here forever. sky poas immediately .... I demand it

jellypi3 · 18/03/2015 07:28

Morning viroids!

Welcome to ewu and welcome back pickle.

lil your DH sounds unfair :( I'm so lucky in that department. You should buy a little buzzy friend like the pocket rocket so when he does leave you high and dry you can use that for a "quick finish".

Also tell him he's shit!

sky gx for you!

gouda arguing is bad for shagging. Have make up sex!!

We started our 4 day marathon last night. Although after my 30 DS DVD it fecking hurt!!!

black I'm excited for you too!!! Let's get this Fred off to a good start!

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