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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 17/03/2015 19:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 40 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2320175-Lifes-a-bitch-but-we-keep-on-shagging-Weve-stocked-up-on-gin-and-pics-of-cats-If-your-Miroid-cant-give-you-the-big-O-then-LTB-and-come-join-us-50-shades-got-nothing-on-us-Its-JSing-40?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2322010-Calmly-and-regally-gestating-our-beans-in-a-land-of-obsessive-ILs-placenta-horticulture-sweary-doctors-and-naked-pancake-cravings-Its-the-JS-grads-thread-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

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21
Tinkfromlovejoy · 28/03/2015 16:54

honey that doesn't sound fun, Gx its for the right reasons.

Af appears to be on her way. I'm surprisingly fine. Glad not to be broken! I thought perhaps I'd strayed back into the land of missing periods for no good reason but apparently not! Also glad I've not just spent a fortune on frers in morrisons! Onwards and upwards, there is always next cycle! Going to be temping again to check when I'm icing this time though, don't want this headfuck again.

lil I can't think of anything for the next title, I'm sure you'll make it a good one though.

lildottie · 28/03/2015 16:59

So far i have
Bondage
Peeing in front of oh's
Syncro pee upcoming on wednesday

We've been quite dull this thread....

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:01

honey AF due in 2 days for you?? How long is your LP?

lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:02

Right new fred created but i'm not giving you the link yet. still a few posts go here :P

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:02

Also hooyah honey stop symptom spotting ;)

lil I'm sure there's more than that?

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:03

Woo time to fill dr fred

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:04

Here's an orange I peeled shaped like a penis

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:04

And here's my efforts of
Procrastinating on a Friday in work

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:04

It's not got much girth jelly!!

lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:05

sad cat & Happy cat!!

honeysucklejasmine · 28/03/2015 17:05

Jelly 2nd April is more than two days away last time I checked! Wink

Sorry Lil, saw new thread and posted already! Amazing title, love it.

lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:06

Thanks honey, and thats ok as you only posted stats :P

lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:07

ok nearly within the last 10 posts so here you go
fred 42!

lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:07

Wonder how many newbies the tying up will attract!!

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:08

Why did I read that as
2 days honey??????

I'm going mad.

tink sorry the witch is on her way :(

honeysucklejasmine · 28/03/2015 17:08

Think your dh needs to see a doctor if his penis looks like that!

Tinkfromlovejoy · 28/03/2015 17:09

Brown cervical mucous can fuck right off! Ha.

lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:10

for all you crazy cat ladies

We're sorry about your fanny - here, have a balloon! We might use cock rings and ear needles, but we definitely don't use contraband to get us upduffed - it's Just Shagging thread 41!
honeysucklejasmine · 28/03/2015 17:10

Going mad? Going?! Wink

Sorry Tink Sad

lildottie · 28/03/2015 17:10

:( tink

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:11

Lol honey someone in work said the same Wink

jellypi3 · 28/03/2015 17:12

Clearly the 4 of us are having great Saturday afternoons

Tinkfromlovejoy · 28/03/2015 17:12

Wank badgers

Tinkfromlovejoy · 28/03/2015 17:12

Cunt

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