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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
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24
Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 14:04

Cannot help you there Country , cannot tell the difference at all!!

Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 14:34

Also I need a hooya as I am freaking out a little bit that I might have PCOS... due to ridiculous cycles / reoccurring ovary twinges. Some one give me a slap please I came off the pill late Nov, 3 months isn't long enough to be concerned right? Sorry for being a total fanny about this!

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 15:10

Pud massive slap. I came off in Oct ish time and my cycles are BONKERS first two 28/29 days then a massive 42 dayer and this is looking like 38 ish days? Jelly and lil will confirm this it takes longer than a couple of months for your body to sort its shit out

Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 15:33

Ha ha thank you Country , that is exactly what I needed to hear. Massive slap received and not in anyway enjoyed a la 50 shades Smile

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 15:39

It takes a lot longer so stop stressing. They will sort themselves out don't worry.

Now, jizz vs CM. When you wipe, generally jizz will absorb into tissue whereas CM will sit on top of tissue. Also try to rub your fingers together. Jizz will dry up quite quick whereas CM will stay sticky or goopy.

:)

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 15:42

I think think think think it's ewcm then

Jcandy · 28/02/2015 15:51

Haha country I have images of you having kept it in a tissue waiting for someone to reply..... The running to find it to carry out jelly's tests! Confused

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 15:54

Haha no when I found it I rubbed it into tissue and stretched it a bit. Had remembered that you gals had mentioned the disappearing thing but couldn't remember which way round

Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 16:35

Get shagging Country!

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 16:42

Yes do shag!!!!!

So who is closest to 14DPO and is due to test next

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 16:49

I am yeating in 5 days

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 16:51

Yeating?! I mean testing!

Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 16:59

Ooh 5 days Lemon, not long!

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 17:02

I'll see if I can sneak the cape on tonight. He wasn't exactly enthusiastic last night

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 17:37

Errr...we are going to need someone to start a new Fred shortly!

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 17:37

Today's if anyone's interested. I'll do one more tomorrow then stop boring you all

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)
honeysucklejasmine · 28/02/2015 18:03

Hi guys! Glad you don't judge me for having a grabby wedding. Everyone says how great it was!

You lot need to get some orgasms. I go the way of Gaggia and have more than one at a time.

50 Shades is for beginners.

Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 18:20

No idea about opks Country , but it's got two lines on so that must be a good thing!

It will be good to have a new Fred, this has not been a happy Fred Viroids for lots of reasons. More shagging and multiple orgasms in the next one!

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 18:21

Have requested grads to do a new one

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 18:41

Also am plying him with prosecco and have my filthiest pants on. Game on!!

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 19:42

Who is doing new fred

lildottie · 28/02/2015 20:26

pud I stopped bcp end au, 31day cycle to end sept, 31 day cycle to end Oct. late NIV/early Dec no AF. we started ttc 9/11 so poas many times, all bfn. af finally showed up mid Dec and stuck around until end Jan (7weeks in total). since the cycles have ranged from min 28 days to Max 38days. lp usually 14/15 days. even 2yrs 2mths after stopping bcp my cycles still weren't clockwork, although generally 32-34 days for the final 3-4 months. so give it time. if its stressing you out I'd suggest temping so you know when AF is due.

house was hard, avoided baby room pretty much, but u was excited. measured lots of things to start planning Grin and also found out he has found somewhere so chain can start moving along now Grin Grin

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:00

Yay for house excitement lil :)

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:11

By the way if nobody else wants to I'll do next Fred

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