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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 22:41

Jesus Christ you two sound dangerous!!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:42

Love that you're not even panicked, just annoyed!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:42

BUMHOLES

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:42

CUNTFLAPS

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:43

SMEGMA

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:43

BIG HAIRY MINGE

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 22:43

Not annoyed. Just sounds familiar. I too am a danger to myself and all those around me Grin

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:43

MAN JUICE

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:44

Haha! No country, not you, Pud!

Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 22:44

Bought him a fire extinguisher as an Xmas present as a 'joke'.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:46

rofl!

CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 22:46

See I told you lot I'd shagged myself blind- I can't even read right anymore

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:52

Aww poor country! Now is the time though with all of those positive OPKs Smile

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:52
Bear
Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:52
Dragon
Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:52

[car]

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:53

[hsmile]

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:53

[rsmile]

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:53

dammit!

Ainat266 · 28/02/2015 22:53

Ooh! Nearly filled!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:53

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:54

ahahahaa!!! blank post!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:54
Tardis
Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:55

JUST SHAGGING!!!!!

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