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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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24
CountryGal4 · 27/02/2015 13:03

Mine cost 400

Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 13:19

Thanks Jelly Smile

I am still worrying though, as I've just never had this before...hmm.

Have just looked it up and I paid £200 for our DJ, to include lighting. He played from 10:30pm - 2am, if that's any help.

Also, I used to organise events at hotels in a former life, and have a handy event planner sheet if you want to see it and think it might help you? Let me know if so and I'll PM you.

jellypi3 · 27/02/2015 14:30

Oo that would be great thanks lemon :)
has anyone see this color changing dress thing

Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 15:03

Have sent via FB as couldn't work out how to send you a file via MN Confused

jellypi3 · 27/02/2015 15:11

thanks!!! :)

Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 15:17

Oh, and I know I look like a total Bridezilla Blush

jellypi3 · 27/02/2015 15:18

WOw it's incredibly detailed! you literally thought of everything!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 15:39

DH used to organise weddings for a living! And I worked in hotels Smile

jellypi3 · 27/02/2015 15:45

wow, thatzing, I might pinch a few ideas haha!

How's the pain

Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 16:15

persistent! I shall be numbing it with Wine as soon as the clock chimes 5:30 Grin

Hobbit19 · 27/02/2015 16:16

Ha ha Jelly! I cannot tell the difference between EWCM and jizz. I also get EWCM/jizz at random times and I can random stabby ovary pains all over the shop. So no help to you or lemon I'm afraid. I try not to worry about it!

jellypi3 · 27/02/2015 16:20

i'm normally pretty good at telling the difference pud. This was unlike anything I have seen before, there was so much of it! I've had stretchy clear CM before I have assumed was EWCM, but I have never had this before, which literally did look like a cracked egg white!

Hobbit19 · 27/02/2015 16:21

Jelly , we got our flowers from the flower market, had to go there at 5 am but got LOADS of flowers for £50. Think we paid £250 for a caleidgh band. But then being from Yorkshire I am proper tight. We got married in a field.
Village halls are an awesome option for budget weddings though, good call!

honeysucklejasmine · 27/02/2015 17:07

Jelly with village halls make sure you check out the costs of hiring the furniture etc, and whether or not you need security.

Round here it was cheaper to go with a venue who did it all for us! I was shocked.

Hobbit19 · 27/02/2015 17:23

Jesus, was in tears at school today and now watching 'The People's Strictly' and sobbing my heart out. This is not like me at all. CD43 must be the emotional phase!!

jellypi3 · 27/02/2015 17:45

Village hall is still cheaper for us I think honey. They have all the tables etc in there. Didn't think of security though. It's a pretty remote village, I'll see if anyone else has needed security!

Emosh phases suck pud. I'm at the crampy twinge stage. Not fun.

CountryGal4 · 27/02/2015 17:51

I promise this is the last one I post viroids

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)
Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 18:03

Now that is a MFBFPOPK!!!!

Yay!

Jcandy · 27/02/2015 18:04

Positive country keep up the shagging!!

CountryGal4 · 27/02/2015 18:04

So that's what a positive opk looks like? So icing tomorrow??

Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 18:06

Yes, or at a push, the day after. I'd be rigorously sticking to the EOD mantra.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 27/02/2015 18:06

Think I am due on, I must be because I am proud of your pos OPK Blush

CountryGal4 · 27/02/2015 18:07

Was any way lemon. Shall be caping tonight viroids Grin

CountryGal4 · 27/02/2015 18:07

Aww lemon. I love that your proud ! :)

honeysucklejasmine · 27/02/2015 18:18

Great news Jelly. One venue we looked at said we had to have security as a term of the lease. We said no because to have security would have made us feel really common! Blush

MN would not approve of our wedding! A lot of friends did us favours (rude), we had a rehearsal dinner (pretentious), said no children exceot cxlose family (selfish) and we asked for money in the invite (grabby). But honestly, I don't think anyone minded really! I owned a house for five years before marrying. We didn't need utensils, we needed money for diy and redecorating. It was even in the form of a poem!

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