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Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

999 replies

jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:31

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

The link to Part 39 is Here

The current Grads Fred is Here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is Here

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 21:33

Stats time!

Name: Jelly
Age: 24 (for only 3 weeks)
DC's: None, 2 cats that apparently eat too much
TTC Since: Fuck knows anymore, let's call it Jan 2015
Stage in cycle: currently 5DPO (due to test 9/3)

Let's try to make this fred lucky!

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CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 21:52

Country
26
None
Jan 15
Cd 24 Icing NOW - practically shagging myself blind

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Hobbit19 · 28/02/2015 22:43

Pud
29
Ttc #1, technically cycle 1, has been going on for ages though!
DC: 2 cats and one DH

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Lemondrizzletwunt · 28/02/2015 22:45

Lemon
27
2 DCs if you count DH and the cat
Nov 2014
CD23 - no fucking idea when AF is due!

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Stoatystoat · 28/02/2015 22:48

Stoat
35 today and not feeling festive!
TTC #1 as of January 2015
MMC February 2015
No shagging until given the all clear

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Ainat266 · 28/02/2015 23:01

Ainat
27
ttc since August '14.
No DC's, but a fur baby in the former of a Jack Russell
Diagnosed with PCOS and o idea what's going on with my body.

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jellypi3 · 28/02/2015 23:17

lol at the end of the Fred you nutters. Now go shag

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CountryGal4 · 28/02/2015 23:18

Jelly I can't.... No more

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Stoatystoat · 28/02/2015 23:37

I'm not allowed!! Bah!

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honeysucklejasmine · 01/03/2015 00:03

Honey
28
No sproggs, two spoilt cats
TTC Aug 14, mc Sept 14
3DPO but think we missed the boat this month!

Currently sewing together 320 crocheted flowers for a baby shower present. But think I'm going to need another 60 or so, so we'll see!

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honeysucklejasmine · 01/03/2015 00:04

Jelly I loooove the additions you made to the welcome post!

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lildottie · 01/03/2015 00:23

Name: lil
Age: 29
Dcs: none
Ttc: 2years 3months, 1successful ivf resulting in mc so back to ttc the old fashioned way.

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lildottie · 01/03/2015 00:26

I am seriously fucked off its thread 40 and I'm still here. No offence viroids but its fucking ridiculous how long I've been on this thread.

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MrsWatts · 01/03/2015 07:30

Hi everyone and happy birthday to Stoat for yesterday!

Age: 37
DC: None (yet!) unless you count my adorable cockapoo doggy!
TTC since February 2015 so only just started what we anticipate will be a loooooong journey given my age and the fact that my hubby had a vasectomy reversal a month ago. Anticipating being here for a while but hoping to enjoy all the baby-making practice in the meantime.

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LaLaLaaaa · 01/03/2015 07:31

Name: LaLa
Age: 34
DCs: none, 2 orange fur babies. Cooking a carrot-sized DC1
Ttc: since July 2013, mc sept 2014

Nice new Fred jelly! Sorry I was away so couldn't help with new fed, I can do next one if you guys want?

Lil - rooting for you! Lucky Fred 40

Nice finish to old Fred. I missed my opportunity to fill.

Cuntflaps!

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jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 08:08

Morning all.

lil it's not fucking fair is it :(

I have a question for you viroids. I jumped out of bed this morning to pee, literally got to the toilet (about 5 steps away) and my alarm went off for my temping!! I jumped back into bed (freezing cold) and chucked the covers on me, took my temp.
Should I discount that temp?? It's really low (below cover line).

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Hobbit19 · 01/03/2015 08:15

Lil, you are right, it is shit! We do enjoy your company though.

Stoat, Urgh. Can't believe you can't shag, that's rubbish. How long until the all clear?

Actually cried with laughter at the Fred filling!

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jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 08:43

yeah how long stoat?

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lildottie · 01/03/2015 08:44

yes jelly discount it for sure.

la deffo do the next one!

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gaggiagirl · 01/03/2015 08:49

Name: Gaggia
Age: 32
DC: 3yo DD. MC Oct 2014
TTC: July 2014 currently upduffed with a raspberry sized bean.

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MyBlackCat · 01/03/2015 08:51

Name: MyBlackCat
Age:33
DC: None but one small black cat who according to vet is overweight don't believe her
TTC: Since dec 13 - MC June 14

Currently CD13 and approaching icing so shagging.

After this mornings efforts DH headed to shower and his choice of music to shower too was the Frozen song let it go. Should I be worried about him....

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jellypi3 · 01/03/2015 08:56

thanks lil discarded. My temps are all over this time round. So frustrating!

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MyBlackCat · 01/03/2015 08:58

Contraband alert...

Does anyone else take great pleasure in entering their shags into their various apps? I do! I've just entered yesterday's and today's into CBFM, not got my phone to hand as currently lying in bed with hips under pillow but looking forward to adding this mornings efforts into the apps shortly Grin I get a little proud smug feeling

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lildottie · 01/03/2015 09:01

jelly my temps are fucked! 36.41, 36.63, 36.63, then this morning 36.81. the highest temp I've had post ov is 36.8 and I'm certain I haven't iced yet! going to be a long cycle I think.
and anyway you're 6dpo - Stop temping!!!

Mrs I do like my apps!

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honeysucklejasmine · 01/03/2015 09:03

I am taking Lil's advice. FF has confirmed icing so i shall stop temping.

DH has stolen the duvet in the night. Brrr!

I am playing the guitar tonight at a church event, 2+ hours solid. Its great fun. Sight reading, no way to rehearse 27 songs beforehand! My fingers shall fall off.

I was thinking the other day. As i have to sit down whilst playing, as my shoulder can't take the weight of the guitar for more than a few minutes, that when i am pregnant I will not be able to play. Bump will get in the way.

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