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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:44

Name: Chat
Age: 33
DCs: One DD, 3.5, a neurotic tabby and a DH (part time, works away too much)
TTC: All through 2014. Two miscarriages, three beans just couldn't stick around, but now a whopping 18 weeks upduffed with DC2 - roughly the size of a tub of Ben and Jerry's. Any excuse... Grin

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 17:45

Haha brilliant Fred title chat!!! Love it!

Name: Jelly
Age: 24
DC's: nada. Two cats, 3 guineapigs and a tank full of fish.
TTC: since Aug 2014 though AF only returned in Oct 2014

Gx this is lil's BFP Fred!!!

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:46

Yey! I'll post on here before it reaches page 6 again!

Kez
27
DC's - one husband
TTC since end of August 2014 and already impatient

honeysucklejasmine · 26/01/2015 17:48

Excellent Chat!

Name: Honey
Age: 28
DC: two exuberant nieces but none myself.
TTC: August 14, MC Sept 14

RhiannonElward · 26/01/2015 17:53

Yay! New Fred. loving what you've done with the place Chat, I must say.

Rhi
Age 33
DCs, DS age 5 and DD age 2
TTC only with any real effort this month.

Currently twotting my way through the end of January, witch due feb 2nd or 3rd. I am here for the silliness, JS tips and advice.

daisyspice · 26/01/2015 17:54

Loving the title!!

Name: daisy
Age: 28
DC: 0 2 fur baby's
TTC: dec 2014, Bfp due 9th feb

rachelrawrrr · 26/01/2015 18:08

Name: Rachel
DC: 0, 2 kitties
TTC: December 2014, currently waiting for AF to piss off!

Hello all! Well I picked up the new kitty today, can't decide on a name Sad she's not a very nice cat either, she's been sitting on OH hissing and growling at him, then she took a swipe at him Sad he didn't force her to sit there! the other cat isn't so sure but nameless kitty has had a very hard life so I'm gonna stick by her, I'm hoping she won't be as mean!

justtheonethen · 26/01/2015 18:11

Name: justtheonethen
Age:32
DC: one cat baby
TTC: Dec 2014 bfp due feb 14th

So decided weird bleed was af......got a flashing smiley on cb ov kit today.....let the shagfest commence!

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:18

Howdy! Nice work chat!

Just filled the Fred traditional stylee in lils honour

Name: la
Age: 34
TTC since: July 2013, mc sept 2014
DCs: currently upduffed with 16 week avocado sized min-la

C'mon lucky Fred!

Dot33 · 26/01/2015 18:26

Name: Dot
Age: 30
TTC: DC 1 since July 2014

THANKS Chat! Currently twotting but AF due on the 29th. Not too hopeful this month as symptomless.

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:36

I love the bit about the dark side of MN!

daisyspice · 26/01/2015 18:42

Aw Rachel persevere with her...I had to take mine out of the box with a pair of oven gloves when she was a kitten still a madam 6 years on but much more calm!

batfish · 26/01/2015 18:43

Ooh new Fred!

Name: batfish
Age: 33 (why do I always have to count on my fingers to decide how old I am....)
Sproglets: 0
TTC: Since Oct 2014 (but only since Nov with any real effort)

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 18:43

love it chat thank you for coming to our rescue!!!

Name: Pooch
Age: 34
DC's: 2 step daughters and 1 husband
TTC: since Sept 2014

currently on CD 12 and due to ice around 16. DTD 5 out of 6 days so far and getting tired. can't give up before the weekend at the very least. I need to drown this egg!!

Gx this is lil's BFP Fred!!!

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 18:45

oh and I bow down to la for yet another spectacular fred fill! :-) x

rachelrawrrr · 26/01/2015 18:46

I'm going to, she's only been here for about 4 hours, currently hidden behind the sofa refusing to eat normal food (she keeps stealing dreamies though Grin) and hissing at the other kitty. She's had more homes in the past couple of months than an average cat would have in a lifetime (she's apparently 8 months but that's bollocks rubbish, she's far too tiny)

txipi · 26/01/2015 18:49

Name: Txipi
Age: 30
DC's: nada. zero. Niente. Nil
TTC: Kind of since October 2014. Currently sporting a broken ankle, if plaster allows we'll start trying properly this month

Finally broken ankle is not as sore, AF is gone and yesterday I managed to jump on dh (twice) let the shagging commence!!! :)

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 18:49

Hallo and hallo again.
Cunthawks et al.
Thanks chat!

Excellent Chat!

Name: Australopithecus
Age: late 30s (or forever 21, as I believe it is called around these parts)
DC: 1, 10 months and the felines
TTC: Without thinking much about how (ie strike it lucky) since 2014. Thinking about it hard(on) (ie DTD now now now) since January 2015. No AF yet since last year, cut down bf to inspire body, so hoping icing happens soon!

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 18:51

Starting off well double-thanking chat there. I really should work on riding before posting. Oh feckit who can be assed. Chocolate anyone?

batfish · 26/01/2015 18:51

Still got tummy pain and sore boobs - so If I'm not upduffed (which I doubt) then I'm dying for sure I never get pain of any kind anywhere so when I do I overreact ever so slightly

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 18:52

Riding before posting????? FECKIT!!! Editing before posting.

Gin anyone?

daisyspice · 26/01/2015 18:59

Austra, I just snorted all over my phone Grin riding before posting......it's in line with our level of chat haha

Toast85 · 26/01/2015 19:10

Woo joining this Fred from day 1!

Name: Toast
Age: 29
DC: 0, just one kitty cat
TTC: still in 1st month

Rhiannon I think we're going to be POAS buddies as my AF is due around 2nd feb too.
Not holding high hopes as we only started trying (without protection) halfway through this month and not sure if I had already iced. Defo had some major pulling/tight feelings in the last few days though so I'm holding out hope and will let the piss-stick do the talking in early feb.

Rachel hope kitty settles in. I'm sure she will, it's all very new for her. Sounds like she needs a bad-ass name though!

rachelrawrrr · 26/01/2015 19:15

She's hiding just now, we're giving her all the space she needs :') I'm really thinking of the name, Hinata, just need to convince OH Wink either that or Malificent, because she's nearly all black and quite an evil little thing :P

RhiannonElward · 26/01/2015 19:16

Well good evening all, just to report that twotting is dull. Even sex has lost a dimension of adventure when failure is an option and I don't have to seduce dp every other day. Dtd last night and I didn't raise my legs in the air and vocally encourage the little sperm as they made their way eggwards, it was good of course but not so rewarding. It turns out I quite like sex with an ulterior motive. Hmm, maybe during the time of twot I should shag for charity or go for a world record.