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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
batfish · 28/01/2015 13:14

jelly would it be totally immoral to tell the doc you've been TTC for longer so they will run a few tests? Hopefully nothing to worry about but I agree it's a long time to wait when you're worried whether you're even icing. Go in there armed with your charts and stats!

Purplecircle · 28/01/2015 13:16

Any news Lil?

We broke the pregnancy abstention. We'd not DTD since we conceived. I was convinced that it would dislodge the bean. I did have a word with myself then panicked for a few days!

Stoatystoat · 28/01/2015 13:21

purple I would carry on if I wasn't having a period while pregnant. It'll be fine!

lildottie · 28/01/2015 13:30

Hi all

Thanks for all the shaking of pom poms and beavers!

We have 4 ICSI embryos and 3 IVF embryos, 7 in total!! Really pleased! Waiting for a call tomorrow morning to see how they are getting on.

stoat if its still brown i think you'll be fine. gx still though

jelly I know lying about ttc is a bit more difficult for you as you've been on depo but how about trying soy isoflavones for a few months to try and induce ovulation? They are supposed to be natural equivelent of clomid drug. You take one a day something like cd 1-5 or something (you'd need to ask dr goofle).

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 13:34

I'll have a butchers at them for next cycle lil thanks.

Congrats on the 7 embyro's....that's scary. You have 7 potential babies there!

Hey stoat and purple, we miss you both on the grads freds! stoat gx for the bleeding being normal. As some other viroids have said, it can be perfectly normal.

bat lying is possible but because they know how long I was on Depo for I am worried they will just send me away. I told them in August we were thinking about TTC so I guess the earlliest I could pass it off for would be August. But I'll look into the soy things and see if they help.

Poochieblue · 28/01/2015 14:28

great news lil! may I ask what the differance is? glad ur DH does little jobs for you now! I'd say it means there is hope but after 12 years im not sure! haha!!
x

mrscatmad31 · 28/01/2015 15:59

AF arrived no honeymoon baby for me :-(

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 17:02

:( Mrs sorry to hear that!

I've been researching Soy all afternoon (thanks lil) and deffo think I'll give it a go next cycle (assuming I don't ice this cycle, though it's not looking bloody likely).

In really feeling blue about TTC at the moment though :(

Toast85 · 28/01/2015 17:12

Hi mrs cat, sorry to hear this month it wasn't to be.
Stoat, gx for you, must be horrible waiting.

I'm really trying not to symptom spot but I've now had 4 days of really vivid crazy dreams and totally blew up at work today over something I could usually keep cool over... Oh if this isn't my month (and i don't think it is) then I'm going to have to find a twotting hobby to concentrate on!

Also- raspberry leaf tea- it' supposed to boost fertility right? How does it work?

batfish · 28/01/2015 17:16

So I know I'm a mental person and deserve a big telling off for POAS when AF isn't even due for 3 days and I didn't even use unicorn wee but I did POAS......and I think I can see a faint line. Very faint!

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 17:17

picture bat??

Toast85 · 28/01/2015 17:19

Oh jelly, sorry you're feeling blue. I'm not the one for a hilarious comment to cheer you up but I'll send a bottle of gin a cuppa and a massive bar of chocolate over!
Stats are good though? Isn't it 80% conceive in the first year?

Toast85 · 28/01/2015 17:20

Yes bat! Picture!

txipi · 28/01/2015 17:23

Bat Picture!!
Congratulations on a'll the embryos lil

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 17:24

It's supposed to be 80% of people conceived in the first month of using Soy but it wasn't a proper study, so I don't trust the stats. I don't trust stats full stop. 50% of women are supposed to conceive in 6 months, but then you only have a 1 in 5 chance of conceiving each month. It's just mind boggling!

I need a PMA at the moment! Work is bringing me down which is making TTC seem really bleak!

batfish · 28/01/2015 17:33

I'm sorry viroids, I'm embarrassed by my behaviour, you've never seen such a squinter in all your lives.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
Toast85 · 28/01/2015 17:42

I can see it! I have zero experience with ICs though so can't really offer advice- but I can see it!
Quick, experienced viroids- bat needs your help!

txipi · 28/01/2015 17:43

I can see a line bat!!!! Congratulations!!!!Grin

batfish · 28/01/2015 17:44

Thanks toast - feel slight less bonkers now haha!

Sorry jelly I hadn't read your posts before I posted, that wasn't very sensitive of me when you're feeling down Flowers

lildottie · 28/01/2015 17:46

Definitely a line bat - i am the queen of IC BFNs so I would know - congratultions!! Get thee to the grads!

jelly just make sure you read up exactly when to take it as taking too long can delay ovulation

batfish · 28/01/2015 17:55

Really??? Here's another equally delusional pic. I don't know what to do!

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
txipi · 28/01/2015 17:58

Clearly a line!!!! Congratulations again!! Have you told Mr. Bat? :)

batfish · 28/01/2015 18:05

Just did another one with literally a thimble full of wee (ok ok a pencil sharpener tub if you must know)

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
LemonDrizzleTwunt · 28/01/2015 18:07

FUCK YEAH Bat!!! That's a beauty!

I don't know why but I feel proud?! Today you are upduffed Smile

Jcandy · 28/01/2015 18:10

Definite line bat congratulations!!! Grin

7 eggs that's brilliant news lil I am right in thinking they put them back at 5days?

Oh jelly we all go through that. I didn't ovulate till cd22 today so you never know! if not then soy is worth a try

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