Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Oh and I'm LOLing and 'cup and run'
Don't have a jazzy ROC but might have to spangle up a ramekin in honour of the viroids.

Cheers for the rescue Chat!

Noniks
31
DCs zilch. 2 scrummy spaniels
TTC July '14 CP Oct

Aus got something in the brain?! Dinners ready in 10

Bat gentle hooyah as witch & our bodies cruelly fuck with us

Ooh missed loads of posts then. Toast I would be honoured to have a POAS buddy, it might help me stay strong and not make a lemon of myself. fx for you, it only take one bd to get the job done so hopefully you'll be getting a bfp after all

Rhi stop rubbing my nose in all your sex! But agreed I'm much better with motivation...

rach GX with your angry pussy...

And La outstanding work as ever

haha Noniks I had no intention of rubbing your nose in my sex and I do apologise if I did so by accident. If you know anyone more inclined towards a nasal sex rub I accept applications for that by post and through the proper channels, and yes there is a small fee.

Just jealous I'm on the bench with all this JSing...and witch robbed me of a Friday bang. Hmph.

will have a think on miscreants that may want to rub their nose in your sex for a teeny referral fee

Country
26
Ttc since jan 15

Af was due 23rd jan. Bfn 24th..... Fuck knows what's going on!!

Name: Purplecircle
Age 40
TTC since jan 14
DCs: currently incubating a sesame seed due 24th Sept

Yay my bfp thread I hope

Name lil
Age 29
DCs none yet
Ttc 2yrs 2mo and about to have my first ivf egg collection tomorrow morning!

Thanks for starting thread chat. You realise now its your fault if I get a bfn! Kidding kinda ;)

la I'm now singing word up!

Gotta run, mega busy but will try come back later

Love you all!

Thanks chat brilliant Fred

Also excellent Fred filling by la there, you always know how to do it well!

Name: JC or candy
Age: 30
TTC: Aug 14
DC: none, mc Nov 14

I'm currently in the twot and hoping to test on the 4th Feb which is also the day I'm supposed to have 2 wisdom teeth taken out under local anaesthetic

Good luck lil!!! Thinking of you and willing your eggs on for tomorrow!

Hope your kitty feels more secure soon rachel I'm sure she'll be better in your loving home Wish I could get a cat but I don't think it would be fair on my guinea pigs

New Fred, new Fred!!

Name: Pud
Age: 29
DC: 2 very adorable and naughty kitties
TTC: Jan 2015 and thoroughly enjoying ourselves in the process

La you are my hero ha ha.
Country, you're back! Have you done another test yet?

Right, let's get this Fred off to a proper start if it is to be Lil's lucky BFP Fred: Jizz chat!
Viroids, with your omniknowledge of all things spunk.... DH and I have been JSing like horny freshers on cheap cider and le jizz has been going up a la foof as instructed. Now, how do I tell the next day if what I think is EWCM is indeed EWCM or if DH's lovespunk is trying to make a re-entry into the pantosphere?

I'm pretty sure it is EWCM as it is totally clear. Which is exciting as it means I would be ovulating at a sensible time, not 4 weeks into my cycle.

Also how many days after I see EWCM am I likely to be ovulating? Currently on CD 10.

Thank you o knowledgeable ones!

yorkshire do the tissue test. Spunk tends to soak into tissue whereas EWCM dots on top and doesn't sink in. Also spunk dries on your hand whereas EWCM doesn't.

I still can't tell the difference but that might be because I'm sure I've never had EWCM fucking broken body

Will be thinking of you tomorrow lil

I am pud. Not yet have only just been able to get my paws on new sticks. Will have a go in the morn. There's Definately NO sign of af. I have on the other hand gone right off all food

Did somebody say cunthawk?

Name: Gaggia
Age: 32
DC: 3yo cross ginger girl MC Oct 2014
TTC: July 2014

Merry Monday everyone.

Ooh okay, thanks Jelly think it probably was pant snot then, woop woop!

Gx for you tomorrow country!

Pud I find that ewcm is shiny and stays on surface of tissue. Also feels slippy when wiping and is stretchy on the tissue. If I'm not sure, I tend to wiggle the tissue under the light too look for shiny bits!

I ice whilst I have ewcm, but it dries up immediately after icing as the oestrogen is inhibited by LH and progesterone. Your temp will also shoot up immediately after icing because of the progesterone.

welcome to everyone fingers crossed to us all!!!!

thanks guys, I'm hoping she will feel at home here she keeps poking her head out but then hiding if the other kitty goes near her poor little mite

New Fred!!!! excellent title chat.
managing to post my stats on page 2. Much better than the last Freds efforts!

Name: Ainat
age: 27
DC's: none. One Jack Russell Terrier.
TTC: since August 14.

Recently diagnosed with pcos.

Thanks for the info honey, I'm not temping though so just getting very familiar with my CM

right I'm back! only one tax return not finished but queries are with the client. waiting for 10ckients to send back signed returns but otherwise I'm there! phew!

chat forgot to say Fred title is outstanding!

and la I love that you finished with cunthawk!

pooch thanks for swooping in and finding me a grad

jelly you really are stealing my spot on the thread aren't you!

pud, jelly stole my line about the tissue soak test. I used to get ewcm pretty much from when AF left, in small patches. then in the week leading up to icing it increased and I'd have bucket loads the say before and day of icing. occasionally had a bit of letters at 1dpo but usually as honey said it would miraculously dry up to nothing.

Rachel would it be better to shut the other cat out for a bit so kitty can get used to you first and cat later. must be a lot for the poor thing. hope she settles soon. disclaimer: I'm a cat lover but definitely no expert, don't even have my own cat!

I can't believe its tomorrow! shit fuck wank badgers! will come and update you all when I can. keep all those gingers crossed viroids!

just a quickie to say gx lil let us know how you get on!! will be thinking about you and trying desperately not to vision old fashioned farmers wife going into hen house hunting for eggs!! - don't ask!!

Lil thanks for that advice was gonna keep the new one in the living room overnight and take the other one up to bed, then tomorrow I'm gonna let our long term cat outside for a bit so hopefully the new one can relax for a bit

daisy riding before posting is my new motto.
rachel enjoy the kitten play! There ain't nothing like a big of kittening!

lil good luck. I'd wear some knickers that says "insert here" when you go!

GX lil can't believe it's finally here!