Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 08:33

Right question. Next weekend I am going to a party that's meant to be a boozy one (we've booked a hotel room so I don't have to stay over night). Now assuming I ice around the same time I did last month, it will be just around the time I am due to ice. I've read that new thing on the BBC about not drinking at all whilst TTC etc. but would it affect me in anyway drinking around the time of icing? I mean implantation isn't for a week after, so would it have an impact.

lildottie · 11/02/2015 08:35

jelly I think there is some small evidence alcohol affects implantation. but I think at icing you'd be fine. just drink a shed load of water in the days that follow to rehydrate yourself (and your endometrium) well.

Fleurchamp · 11/02/2015 08:37
jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 08:53

Cheers lil please don't ever leave I will ensure I go mad on the H2O the week after :) I've actually cut out coffee entirely this month and am drinking much more water (but still the odd cup of tea).

LaLaLaaaa · 11/02/2015 09:00

Hooray for digi lil! Don't pay attention to the weeks, plus cb digi counts from implantation so doesn't count the mysterious 2 weeks beforehand when technically you're not pg. they are very inaccurate.

Hooray for seeing it in words!

gaggiagirl · 11/02/2015 09:06

Yay lil will you ring the ivf folk now? Only 3 weeks til your scan then!

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 09:22

Great news lil! Don't worry about the indicator - you are only into 2 weeks by 1 day and, like jelly said, they are rubbish detection level anyway.

jelly, my usual advice would be that it wouldn't matter really so enjoy yourself. Hard now you have that research in your mind though. Maybe moderately drink but don't get trashed? It wouldn't affect a baby at that stage, its whether it affects implantation and I don't know if there is enough evidence for that really either way. (just seen lil say roughly the same thing! lol)

Viroids, I have had a change of heart. I had a sign on my drive to work - I saw a lorry branded 'BFP Wholesale'. I now believe enough in myself to think I can get you the BFPs you need. If you want me to do the fred I will, but you will need to give me a run down for the title as I have only popped in and out so not fully up to date!

(Here they are: They even have cupcakes on the homepage! BFP wholesale

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 09:23

Science is bloody amazing isn't it! Just think, all this time trying lil and science managed to make a baby for you! I can't get over how great it is to live in an age (and country) where science makes this sort of thing happen :)

lildottie · 11/02/2015 09:30

clinic told, scan 5th march.
gp phoning about prescription tomorrow
l should probably do some work Hmm

dulcet that is a sign!

mountaingirl01 · 11/02/2015 09:32

Nice onelil don't worry about the extra day, digis are really not that accurate and tend to take 2-3 days into a week to count it as a week ?does that even make sense?

jelli now obviously I am not advocating anything and I haven't read the research, but if I have my dates right, this bean was an egg the weekend after Christmas (when dh and I celebrated Christmas) and I implanted around about new years eve... S/he might be pickled... major reason I'm not bang on with my dates is because alcohol affected my temps

australopithecus · 11/02/2015 09:43

Oo-ooh lil Smile

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 09:45

Thanks ladies, I will maybe have a tipple or two but not go mad! :)

Dulcet that is deffo a sign, you have to do the next fred. Let's get a list of things to say!

First up, Twitchy Clits its a must!

Fleurchamp · 11/02/2015 10:12

PS lil I don't think I have managed a full day's work since getting my BFP. The first few weeks were particularly slothish, I just couldn't think about anything else!!!

teejayem · 11/02/2015 12:04

If it helps, the weekend I think I conceived I was basically pickled in cider. Tiny Tee seems to be doing okay thus far. even if he is kicking the shit out of me at the moment

Poochieblue · 11/02/2015 13:34

I agree twitchy clit is a must, as well as lils BFP the mass graduation maybe? we threw lots of stuff
oh and exploding fanjo's in the style of ga

Poochieblue · 11/02/2015 13:35

oh and defo a sign seeing that lorry!! :-D

glidingpig · 11/02/2015 13:37

I conceived DD (now 4) on my wedding night (and I know because that was the only shag we managed that entire month), when I was well and truly fucking trollied. It'll be fine. Grin

gaggiagirl · 11/02/2015 14:49

Hi pig welcome back!

lildottie · 11/02/2015 17:22

pig you had sex on your wedding night? we were too nakered!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 17:42

KLAXON!!! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2305640-Whats-your-best-sporn-story

LaLaLaaaa · 11/02/2015 17:44

I was too pissed on my wedding night! I vaguely remember sex the next morning then throwing up in the loo.

Classy!

LaLaLaaaa · 11/02/2015 17:53

Lemon that is awesome!

My best were veruccas. I had about ten on my foot for two years. We tried verucca stuff but nothing worked so we gave up and left them . They kind of scanned over and I just had what looked like round hard patches of skin with black shadows of dots in the middle.

One day I thought fuck it, got some bazuka, squirted it on across the whole foot and left it to dry.

When I peeled it off EVERY ONE of those verucca covers came away, complete with a root and the black verucca at the end. When it was all off I held up the massive verucca skin island and admired the ten pointy verucca roots sticking up and looked at the ten lovely clean holes in my foot.

I've never had one since sadly :(

Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 17:57

Oh La you have to post that on the thread! They'll love it!

australopithecus · 11/02/2015 17:59

What an amusing catch up! Verrucas and wedding night sex. Excellent,

Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 18:11

Err...we're on to the last page! Do we have a new Fred yet?

Swipe left for the next trending thread