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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
gaggiagirl · 27/01/2015 20:22

I'm due Thursday too mrs we can moan together.
We had all the sex tonight although the universe is now exploding out of my arse so I think I ate something funny. And before you ask, no it was not bumsex night!

mrscatmad31 · 27/01/2015 20:25

Lol! oh dear Sad
Glad I tested today, won't be such a disappointment when AF arrives now as expecting her!

honeysucklejasmine · 27/01/2015 20:28

Oh Gaggia , you poor thing. You seem to get are rain quite often. (me too.)

jellypi3 · 27/01/2015 20:39

:( poor gaggia

Hobbit19 · 27/01/2015 20:41

Oh ga PMSL, hope you are okay though.

Country , we posted at the same time this morning, sorry about the bnf. Still no AF?

Yey *Lil, eggciting (sorry) stuff!

lildottie · 27/01/2015 20:44

lol pud

ga I'm glad you cleared that up, we can never be sure where you're concerned! Wink

jelly no idea. got to wait for news and see if we get any embryos then see how they grow.

CountryGal4 · 27/01/2015 20:52

pud absolutely no sign of af what so ever.

You gals crack me up. And dh says I'm bloody mad.......

honeysucklejasmine · 27/01/2015 20:55

Woo! Dottie little embryos!

LaLa5 · 27/01/2015 21:06

Gaggia what have we told you about how to make babies? Not through the bum! ;)

I was told last night at daisy birthing class that I need to strengthen my perineum. Told dh who answered 'I'll strengthen it all right, with my penis!'

Ah Mr La and his awesome penis again

jellypi3 · 27/01/2015 21:09

tell him no la! (unless you want to ofc!)

Have you broken the abstention from shagging yet? (soz if that's a bit personal lol)

LaLa5 · 27/01/2015 21:19

Nope! 16 weeks!

honeysucklejasmine · 27/01/2015 21:40

So no wankban for Mr La I assume? or he might have exploded in a bit puddle of spunk by now My friend didn't have sex with her hubby till her daughter was 8 months, so you've got a while to go yet. Wink

Ainat266 · 27/01/2015 21:54

I'm really tired tonight (no shagging here tonight either) but wanted to pop in and see how lil is doing. 11 eggs? That's great news. Woop woop. I'm so happy for you!!!

Poochieblue · 27/01/2015 22:17

evening viroids! great news lil hope you don't stay sore for long!

there does appear to be a little run of lemon-esk behaviour recently! you're all so brave! I wouldn't dare so soon after jelly's foot putting down episode! hehe!!! although I do have to say that I feel all of you lemon wannabes should perhaps invest in some ic's or frers digi's are never going to give a BFP so early :-/

well after our 5 days in a row shagfest we had a night off last night so was really keen to jump him tonight as due to ice I "think" (being a proper js-er this cycle! get me and my halo lol!!) tomorrow or Thursday only I've been out for a walk with my friend tonight and on the way out of the door I asked very nicely if DH or dsd could empty the dryer and put the wet washing in. so what? a 30 second job if that?! just got back in to a full dryer and a full washer and so mightily pissed off after I've worked really hard all day blitzing the kitchen/dining room/under the stairs cupboard and chucking out crap and Generally cleaning it to within an inch of its life (it was a bit of a storage area before!) that they couldn't even do that little job for me that I know even hearing him breath next to me tonight is going to make me want to kick him! Angry

if he makes me waste this egg I'm going have to LTB!! lol

jellypi3 · 27/01/2015 22:29

Fuck that pooch they are so infuriating sometimes. Maybe angry sex?

Poochieblue · 27/01/2015 23:03

he's gone to bed alone so I think I should stew tonight and have extra angry sex tomorrow!
am doing that trick i do where I get so pissed off that they don't do anything that I go on a mad one doing extra jobs as if I'm trying to make a point, where in fact in reality all that happens is he gets to be all
smug that there's even less jobs left for him to do!! am still going to stay up till the washing is dry any fold it up all nice though lol x

australopithecus · 28/01/2015 04:29

Even better pooch how about angry cupboard sex?

honeysucklejasmine · 28/01/2015 07:40

Pooch honestly i don't know how you do it. I think its really brave of you to step up and be a mum to dh's kids. I think he needs go realise that without him your life would be much simpler, so the least he could do is help out a bit more! I don't mean to be offensive or anything, but I can't imagine going from 0 to family so suddenly. I don't think I would cope!

Poochieblue · 28/01/2015 08:14

not offensive at all, thank you for saying that! I've calmed down this morning to more of a suitable place to be having a word this evening!

That's if i survive the day at work - the weather is absolutely crazy here and whilst here on my own am convinced that the massive oak tree in the garden is going to come crashing through the window. I thought they'd given out snow not hurricanes! lol!!

Poochieblue · 28/01/2015 08:16

sorry aus i missed your post!!! angry cupboard sex might work - especially since i tidied it out and can get in it now!! haha!!!

lildottie · 28/01/2015 08:34

oh pooch you sound just like me! I do the extra jobs thing. although I have to say at some point in the last 10 years something got through to dh. he does lits of things now without being asked. this morning he's been and made me a cuppa and sorted the dishwasher so kitchen is tidy when my mum gets here later!

pain much better this morning thank goodness! still going to milk it obvs think time will ve frozen this morning waiting for call about embryo numbers. keep me entertained ladies!

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 08:39

Morning viroids.

Hope you and DH have made up today pooch.

Another high today, which is CD15/16. Temp still not risen. Feeling totally disheartened by it all. I genuinely don't think I am ovulating, which is making me feel like a massive let down. A part of me now wants to just give up TTC for a few months, but I've really enjoyed parts of it and DP wants it so badly. But if I go to the doctors now they will tell me to just carry on trying until the end of this year, which seems like an age away when I am convinved I'm not icing.

Woe is me rant over. How are we all today? The fuck-wit at work is in today but off tomorrow luckily.

australopithecus · 28/01/2015 10:15

lil good luck with the results on your little team of embryos! Smile

gaggiagirl · 28/01/2015 12:26

Shakes pom poms (and beaver,why not) for lil and the embryos!

Stoatystoat · 28/01/2015 12:51

Hello, still keeping an eye on you lot.

Name: stoat
Age: 34 (not for much longer)
DC: 0
TTC: as of January 2015. Got a BFP on the 17th January but am having some worrisome bleeding (it doesn't hurt). Waiting for a scan next week to find out if still knocked up. Some days I think I am, some days I am hysterical. On a shagging break due to the bleeding. So basically cannot do anything enjoyable! No drinking, running, shagging. Can I still play here?!

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