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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 18:24

Welcome back gliding lovely to see you, hope you have worked through your shizz and are back in the game with gusto! Flowers

Lovely digi lil this will be a long few weeks before your scan but we will do our utmost to entertain you.

Sorry for the following me, me, me, post but you lot have been very quiet this afternoon:

Saw my consultant endocrinologist today for the first time (after a 4 month wait Angry). He was nice enough, although fiddled with my boobs more than I think a stranger should, and felt it necessary to point out 4 times that at 33, I'm not over hill, but should probably crack on (thanks for enlightening me Angry)!
To cut a long story short, he doesn't think I have a prolactinoma. So I guess that's good? Feels like a complete waste of 4 months but I suppose I can't be too pissed off with a cleanish Bill of health. My high prolactin is probably due to pcos, which apparently I don't have either (do keep up), so I'm having repeat bloods on Friday so they can determine meds for conditions I probably haven't got.
Essentially, the nhs are still at a loss but very willing to try and help if they can. Although, no one is completely sure what they're trying to help with. My hormone levels aren't that of a completely normal person, but there is no obvious problem. So that still leaves us childless 6 years on. Envy
Next steps would be referral to fc and ivf (following a lap and dye). Dh and I have chatted and both of our guts scream that that isn't what we want. We think our preferred option would be to take 6 months out and then apply to adopt. Not stop shagging in that time, but stop pursuing medical intervention. Unless, of course, Friday's bloods show up something previously missed.Hmm

So that's my Wednesday afternoon, what's happening with you lot?

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 18:27

Ooh apologies, missed the verruca and wedding night chat whilst I was posting! Picture la? (Not of your wedding night) Grin

Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 18:44

[dino]

Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 18:44
Dragon
Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 18:44

ahahahahaaa!!! it worked!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 18:46

Sorry tink, I didn't see your post! My Dragon probably came across as a bit insensitive...!

Sorry to hear they've got no fucking clue what's going on and that you were groped by a man in a white coat Sad How are you feeling about it all?

lildottie · 11/02/2015 18:51

oh tink that is utterly shit. worth heading back to your friendly gp to see if she'll let u try those drugs anyway? I understand your feelings about intervention. i feel a bit odd knowing how this baby(s) got here, but I can whole heartedly say ivf was nothing like I imagined it would be. I think referral to clinic anyway won't do you any harm to get more tests. you don't have to follow the route they suggest. adoptive agency will also want to know you have fully considered your other options.

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 19:08

[Dragon]

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 19:13

Dammit lemon how did you do that?

Tbh lil I'm just glad not to have a frikkin tumour! I'm not sure what further tests an fc could offer? Would it just be hsg? May get the old tubes checked privately just to speed things up! Then I can draw a line under it! Can't say my mind is changed about ivf, I'd love to be brave enough but the idea honestly fills me with dread. Even after your lovely happy ending!

australopithecus · 11/02/2015 19:31

tink Wine
In the latest news im sitting witb my ass in the air hoping for a cd8 miracle. Had some ewcm this morning (and yesterday morning) but dry as a Martini tonight so who the fuck knows if anything is going to come of it. Hmm

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 19:40

Oh tink I'm sorry you didn't get any solid resolution :(

Who is doing next Fred?????

CountryGal4 · 11/02/2015 19:41

austra how long are yours cycles pet? That seems dead early?!?

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 19:41

Wine aus
CD8? Jesus, that's fast work. That would give you a 22 day cycle, no? That's what, 14 shots at it a year? High five. Smile

australopithecus · 11/02/2015 19:51

Hah! My cycles are a mystery. I had a 4day luteal phase!!!!!!!! Hell fuck yes. Shitty for fertilised eggy to implant but obviously nice not to have to wait very long.
considers
Uhm unless it was a mahoosive implantation bleed? That would be nice! doubts it

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 19:51

Whoever is on a laptop do a Fred! there is no such thing as woo or luck. What will be will be. But we need somewhere to pull it all apart, I would do it myself but trusty old kindle will not copy and paste or do links.......

Someone be brave Wink

Stoatystoat · 11/02/2015 20:00

Hello ladies. I'm decamping here if that's ok. I had a scan but It didn't go great. It has grown since last weeks but it smaller than they would expect and so too small to detect a heart beat. Other people are getting one at this stage. I've got to go back next week and if still nothing, then time to 'call it a day'. Been told to prepare myself for the worst so I'm in limbo. Don't want to spoil the baby talk on the grads fred, can I hang out with you please?

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 20:17

Don't forget to leave lil the last post!!

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 20:33

Oh fuck it stoat I'm so so sorry sweetheart. Where there is growth there is hope though. Maybe your little peanut is just a little bit behind. Praying for you that it all works out, these little ones are sent to try us. Hoping very much you see that little flutter next week. In the meantime camp out here and vent to us lot. However you feel is fine and we will all be here to support you. I have everything crossed that that little bean is just taking its time FlowersBrewCake

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 21:06

Oh stoat I'm so sorry to hear this :( of course you can hang out with us, don't feel bad for venting or raging or anything, we have no lovely baby chat to spoil, just AF commiserations and sporn love. Big hugs hun x

I'm on phone so can't really do next Fred (I can try)

glidingpig · 11/02/2015 21:12

Oh stoat, how totally shit to be in limbo like that. Wine Cake Come on stoatbean, fatten up.

Hobbit19 · 11/02/2015 21:20

We are all here for you Stoat, everything crossed that the bean will grow! Xxxx
No idea how to start a new Fred!!

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:35

I did it, sorry its not very inspired title - felt under pressure in case you filled up while I did it!

new home

Enjoy!

lildottie · 11/02/2015 21:44

goodbye Fred 38, and thank you for the bfp. now bring on...

lildottie · 11/02/2015 21:44

..the are rain and whatever else is in store!

thanks for the lucky Fred chat

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