Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

PassTheAfterEights, 33, DC#1, 19/03

PurpleFushia, 36, DC2, due date 14/4 (ish as not 100% on cycle length since MC).

Thanks for setting up the thread @PassTheAfterEights ! Was feeling a little awkward about showing bfp pics etc, I really don't want to make anyone feel bad and it is so hard after MC - I've found it tough seeing other bfps the last few months and it's been really pretty quick for me. Anyway, have attached bfp pic here - I think I'm 12dpo today and it's a decent line on a FRER. Got positive on a cb digital too. So cautiously optimistic, but I know it could all end in a flash - going to try to take it all one day at a time. AF would only be due on sat.

Hopee others join us soon too!

Amazing @PassTheAfterEights still so early for me given the attached photo is my first squinter. I just wanted to lend my support to hopefully the first of many posts. I look forward to sharing joys and neuroses with you lovely ladies xx

Oops, forgot the photo!
34, dc2, not dated to think about due date yet as am still 5 days from AF.

Fab test @PurpleFushia, know exactly what you mean - when you want to see it so badly that little second line can be torture. Also feel my BFP high lasted about 18 hours before being replaced with a whole new host of worry, which nobody still waiting to conceive needs.

Haha nothing too early to celebrate @doddlebobs good to have you here! Can't see pic, can you reattach to share the good vibes??!

I got fed up and stopped monitoring everything in May, certain I didn't ovulate in June & until I rang midwives to book in I thought it was a brand new preg. Line (attached) was very strong for 9dpo, though, and they are insisting they go by LMP so for now due date is March - have cracked and booked an early scan on Sat as cannot bear the idea of waiting 6 weeks for first NHS scan to find out it needs to be revised back by a month. Sure it's not as far forward as they think. And if it is 7+2 not 3+2, where the hell is my morning sickness! I know the die is cast but all I can think about is how much I don't want to lose another.

Think one day at a time has to be our motto!

Oh woop @doddlebobs there it is!! Lovely. Will you keep POAS??

Oh yes, @PassTheAfterEights your line is incredibly strong now I'm looking properly in comparison to mine - but it could be various things causing it so probably best not to worry too much. Hopefully the scan will sort it out, sounds like a good idea. Oh and btw I had no morning sickness with DS - not everyone gets it!

Definitely looks like there is something there @doddlebobs - are you going to test again tomorrow?

That a great line @PurpleFushia!

I am going to FRER tomorrow morning. I think I'm 11dpo today so my FRER will be at 12 too! I will keep poas as I think I'm addicted. I kind of wish I'd waited until the weekend as I'd (somewhat arbitrarily) promised myself I would so that I'd know better one way or the other but hey. As you say, one day at a time. I have enjoyed the possibility of it happening today and can only wait and see whatever will be.

Good luck with your scan @PassTheAfterEights! I get where you're coming from on the private scan so you don't have to wait so long. Be good if you are 7 weeks so you've skipped an entire month of worry! I'm in a similar boat on LMP Vs actual ovulation as ovulation was so late this month - by LMP (30 June) I'm 5 weeks and by ovulation (23 July) just 3!

Hi everyone!
@PassTheAfterEights thanks for setting up the thread, I love the intro!

My roll call:
Jessabean TTC#1 (2 precious mcs over the last 9 months- first EDD was next Thursday). This pregnancy EDD is 9th April.

Pretty sure I was a 29 day cycle this month and think I'm 4+3 today.
Been fluctuating between cautious hope and fear of further heartache and grief if it all goes tits up again. Trying to play it cool & just see how each day goes but is hard to hope all goes well and think about the future if it does!

Glad we have each other for support. & know what you guys mean about not wanting to upset anyone on the other thread so is good to have space here to talk freely about worries.

Those are some lovely lines. Have attached mine- first was 10dpo where as second was 12dpo. Haven't done any others since but have a CB Digi in my bedside draw that I've been itching to pee on every morning 🙈 trying to hold out for another week or so though!

Symptoms wise have come and gone which is what I found in my last two pregnancies. Nausea is maybe little stronger a bit earlier I guess this time- hoping that's a good sign. Is really hard to tell though- don't really know what my normal normal is with pregnancy symptoms/experiences as not yet had a successful one! 🤷‍♀️

So sorry to hear your first EDD is coming up @Jessabean. I hope being pregnant again lightens the load a bit but also that you'll have a good network around you to support you on what will no doubt be a difficult day.

I echo your thoughts on this being a good place to share our worries and early pregnancy related chat. I hope we grow to be as strong as the TTC group, not least because that will mean happiness for lots of ladies that truly deserve it. Even if, as must be our motto, it's just to take that happiness day by day and hold on to it.

I am happy today! After waking up at 4 and getting another squinter that I was convinced was even less obvious, I managed to squeeze out an extra bit of FMU when my wee one woke at 6am. And this, ladies, is why a FRER is some 10x more expensive than a cheapie!!

Have you contacted your EPU yet? I figured might as well get booked in as soon as possible. In 'usual' terms my period is late now but because I know when I ovulated, I know it's not due until Tuesday!

Hi ladies!! 👋🏼 Just checking in

Maydot, 33 Fx this is DC#1, 2 Previous MC (last one MMC found out at 13 weeks in May)

I’m feeling so sick already!!!.... Had the weirdest cycle ever, still shocked I got my BFP as I didn’t even think I ovulated.
Off on my holidays on Thursday so not getting too excited til that’s out the way then I’ll be booking a scan for somewhere between 8 & 9 weeks xxx

Hope you don’t mind me sneaking in too.

MisBit1 36 DC2 2 miscarriages this year 1 at 5 weeks in Jan and the other an mmc at 13 weeks at the beginning of May.

I’m up to 8 weeks with this one now and I’ve seen a heartbeat but still feeling massively anxious.

Congratulations on all the BFPs I’ve been watching the ttc thread but didn’t want to post too much as not to upset anyone.

That's a great line @doddlebobs, bet you're relieved to see that! Cheapies are good but nothing like a good bold line on a test.

Hello and welcome @Jessabean, @Maydot, and @MisBit1, there's quite a gang of us now! Sorry to hear about worries though I think it's entirely natural after MCs. And the symptom spotting doesn't stop does it even after bfp - I've been worries because I've got cramps, worries because I'm not feeling sick (even though I know eating makes me feel better and I was thinking that right after breakfast!).

Interesting that several of you are thinking about having early scans, I'm on the fence about it - I'm not sure I want to know in some ways. My MC was a missed one too, and I think the sonographer said the baby was around 8 weeks (MC at 11) so I don't really know when I'd go. Maybe I'll wait and see how I feel when I get nearer the time. I think sadly I would be more aware of how I'm feeling this time around - looking back I did lose symptoms around 8 weeks, and I even remember poas around then as I had one left, as if that would confirm anything! Anyway, so far I'm pretty certain all is still ok, have got the tiredness I remember from DS kicking in already, plus random aches and cramps, so body is certainly doing something!

Hope you all have nice weekend plans ahead!

Having a little (big) panic - please help with some sensible thinking as I'm currently incapable!

So far today I've had cm when wiping that is slightly streaked with brown (though both times a second wipe was just creamy) Much more cm than I'm used to, not making its way to my pants just on the tissue. Is this the right timing for implantation bleed? I'm 12dpo and AF due on Tuesday. I feel like this is a symptom of the end already. Never noticed this with my previous two pregnancies but i wasn't so observant (obsessive...) back then xx

Hey everyone

@doddlebobs try not to worry too much (know I'm terrible for it so won't tell you not to completely!) is definitely still time for some implantation bleeding - can take up to like 5-6 weeks I think I remember reading somewhere & even then a little minor bleeding in first trimester can be normal past that. Especially if it is just brown spotting as that's old blood so could just be left over from previous/recent implantation. How are you doing otherwise?

@MisBit1 & @Maydot lovely to see you both here! Congrats @MisBit1 on the successful 8 week scan! Do you have any pics?!

I'm probs not going to have an early scan this time I think. Had a couple of scans with my last mmc- at 7 weeks and 9 weeks & though very rare things still didn't work for me despite seeing heartbeat (things weren't quite right dating wise Vs tracked ovulation dates though -esp on first scan was a week behind and then caught up- so was a hint all wasn't all necessarily well looking back). Don't think it will help alleviate any of my anxieties this time though.Was planning on just having a private scan at 11-12 weeks prior to nhs one just so that I'm not in the same room as last time when I found out about mmc if that makes sense- feels like I'd be finding out on my terms if it's bad news. That's if I make it there! I'm so bad for being pessimistic this time! 🙈

Try not to worry @doddlebobs.... I know it’s hard xx
I can totally relate @Jessabean, I had an early scan at 8 weeks last time too and the heart was beating, only to be told at 13 weeks it had gone!! Heart breaking!!
I also think i’ll be worried for any scan no matter when it is. My only reason is that I have another holiday booked at the end of September so I want to check before I go away that everything’s still going ok

I’m now on my down to where I grew up for a party with some old school friends!!... It’s going to be tough hiding the fact i’m Not drinking!! Wish me luck!!! xxxx

Not much to see on the pic but this is the best one I think.

I totally understand wanting to find out onyour own terms @Jessabean If I could justify the cost I’d have another scan between now and twelve weeks. I found out about the mmc when I started spotting at 11+3 last time and then miscarried naturally the night/morning before my second scan 10 days later. They were never exact but suggested the baby had stopped developing somewhere between 6 and 7 weeks. I found the physical process traumatic and ended up in a&e. I’m terrified of going through that again.

I had a scan at 8+5 with the one I lost (private because the nhs couldn't fit us in until 13+) and this is what we got - looking as expected and with a heartbeat

Oops- pictures don't seems to be working ... try again . We were incredibly unlucky I think to see it like this before a loss. They said the loss was between 9-10.

If this pregnancy happens, which I don't think it will, I'll defo go for the early scan he NHS have offered me this time as I don't want to go through waiting until 12 weeks not possibly knowing, and i agree with the point about the different room as well. The early scan is done at the hospital rather than a community medical centre.

Thanks for your advice on my 'spotting' - it only happened twice and wasn't anything substantial but can't have been a good sign. I was worried that my cheapies weren't getting any darker (paler in fact) so I took a clear blue dating one this morning...
Turns out it mocks you even once destroyed. Think perhaps a chemical this month. Gutted, I had such high hopes for those lovely 2 days that this was our time :(

Oh @doddlebobs I'm so so sorry. I hope somehow this isn't happening for you. Had you gotten a positive cb digi before? Only ask as I'm know they take more hcg to be positive. How many days dpo are you now? Could be worth trying with another FRER if that was the one that was more defo positive for you before?

@MisBit1 lovely little bean in there. Fingers crossed for you that you don't have to go through any of that again as for all of us.

@Maydot totally get the getting a scan for practical reasons as well - had my 9 week scan with last pregnancy only because it was just before an exam and didn't want to travel to it if i thought I was about to miscarry. Is so difficult to work this stuff around life practically!

@MisBit1 lovely little bean in there. Fingers crossed for you that you don't have to go through any of that again as for all of us.

@Maydot totally get the getting a scan for practical reasons as well - had my 9 week scan with last pregnancy only because it was just before an exam and didn't want to travel to it if i thought I was about to miscarry. Is so difficult to work this stuff around life practically! Hope the old friends get together went ok last night?

Sorry for the double post 🤷‍♀️ not sure what happened there!

I got my bfp last weeks after 3 mc over the last 11 months.. nervous n a lil scared to be excited as am still so early having a reasurrence scan around 6 weeks I can't wait x