Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

Hello, I was on the ttc after pregnancy loss chat. I recognise a few names from there here.
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We are trying for our first baby since Feb this year.
I had an mmc in May this year at 10 +4 weeks. I have really struggled since. But I got my BFP on Tuesday and I think I'm around 4 weeks +4 today. Although I ovulated early so maybe further than that. Due date is 23rd May 2019.
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I am excited and so happy to be pregnant again, but very scared of it going wrong again. I really really hope this time it's ok. Every twinge makes me worry. I wanted to come on here for support. I have booked a 7 week scan for reassurance. Fingers crossed it is all ok.
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I hope you are all doing ok.

@Pancakes7 congratulations on your bfp, I sincerely hope all goes well for you.

Welcome and congratulations @Pancakes7 it's so bizzare isn't it normally people prayer for a positive test and then the hard work is done. Not for us who have had miscarriages it's bloody petfifying! Goodluck keep us updated xx

@xhidJune8 and @hidcat thanks for the welcome. Yeah, I have been so desperate for a BFP since it all happened. I am so happy but I can't truly get excited as I'm so scared of things going wrong and having to go through all the pain and grief again. I really hope this is our time. Atleast it's less than 3 weeks till my early scan. I couldn't wait till 12 weeks. How are you both? How far along are you? Have you had scans yet?

@xjune88 sorry don't know how I got your username so wrong below. I'll blame baby brain lol

@pancakes7 our stories are similar. I had a mmc in April at 11ish weeks. I got my bfp last Monday at 10dpo and have been a bag of nerves.

Got my 1-2 on a digi and the £1 shop test i took this morning showed the test line before the control line but im still struggling to believe it’s going to happen.

I had an early scan last time at what was supposed to be 8+4 but was measuring 6+6 with a hb so I knew really it wasn’t going to work out, so I’m a bit dubious of getting an early scan this time as I’m petrified it’s going to show the same.

Not booked in with the mw yet - gone to dial a few times but somethings holding me back.

Mc is shit and is sucking every ounce of joy out of this pregnancy for me. Wish I could just be happy but I feel as soon as I let myself then it’ll go tits up again.

@Pancakes7 I had a miscarriage in January at 7 weeks and a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks in June baby made it to 9. I think I'm about 5 weeks feeling more positive this time but I'm petrified something is going to go wrong. It's such an awful feeling. I'm not doing anything at all until I reach 8 weeks then I will ring midwife to arrange a booking in appointment. Going to try to wait for 12 week scan, I had 2 early scans last time at 6weeks and 7+6 and baby was perfect, measuring spot on with healthy heartbeat and it still went wrong so what will be will be. Xx

@xjune88

@TheHalfBloodPrincess it's nice to have people to talk to and who understand xx

@TheHalfBloodPrince I'm so sorry you had to go through it too. It really is awful and like you said it rubs you of the excitement that most expectantmothers have. I didn't have any scans till it went wrong and so have not had a happy scan. I started bleeding at 10 weeks +5 and then had a scan which showed it didn't make it past 6 weeks. That's why I've booked the 7 week scan so atleast I'll know if we've made it past 6 weeks. We are both trying to be positive but not too excited as protecting ourselves incase it goes wrong again.
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@xjune88 I'm sorry you had to go through that, especially twice. It really is scary the wait isn't it.
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I really hope it works out for us all. Sending out positive thoughts. X

Ooh I see a few familiar names here! Can we join? I'm 37 and just 5+4 today after MC in August (caught straight after MC which I was not expecting at all) feeling ok and taking each day as it comes. Be good to have some support and hand holding on this journey! Fx for sticky beans for all of us 😊

@kisses4u Wow that was quick! Fingers crossed all goes well for you x

@kisses4u nice to see you here! That was really quick! Must be meant to be. Fingers crossed xx

@Pancakes7 I'm 14+2 and all looking good so far, thank God! The early weeks were very scary and it's hard to stop the anxiety taking over but we get there in the end.

@kisses4u congratulations and welcome.

Hi everyone! I've followed @Pancakes7 over.

I've had two early MCs. Never got past 6/7weeks. This was second cycle after latest MC and tbh not ready for this. Constantly nervous about it, trying not to be nervous and negative but struggling. DH always says things wrong...

I did an ovulation test Aug 27 and it came back negative. It's the clearblue one. I got a circle. So if you were even slightly fertile you'd be getting the flashing face and then the solid face. Luteal phase usually bang on 14 days but clearly not this time, so going on LMP will be slightly off.

I was due to ovulate on the 28 but the negative test means this is impossible. I was so peeved I only did one test.

We DTD 26, 27 and 30th. If I could point the finger I'd said the best one was 26th and therefore it had to be that one 😂 but if it was the 26th I would presumably have had a different result on the ovulation test on 28th unless 26 was my last fertile day. So it must have been on the 30th and I must have become fertile shortly after the negative test.

I appreciate natural variation and all, but it's getting a bit old getting a scan and being told "too small" so I'm thinking err on the side of caution and assume it must have been the 30th? Riiiight...?

I'm not so worried on due date because as baby of a Dr it'll be late for its own birth. It's just that first dating scan. I want to be as close to right as possible.

@TheHalfBloodPrincess I totally understand where you are coming from. I had a scan where I was fine, I thought all was okay, we saw a HB and then MC started that evening. It's only a picture in an instant and I could spend a fortune on scans only to feel instantly worried again afterwards. DH reckons the internal scans prompt miscarriages! For a Dr this seems idiotic. It is of course my body and if I want one I'll bloody have one!

Even though I know I should be happy I am feeling quite upset today...I think I am just still upset from before and so scared of what might happen. I hope I can enjoy it soon. It doesn't help that my DH is away for work till Wednesday. The house is really quiet. My Mums been staying but couldn't today. Feeling a bit lost.

@Pancakes7 I get that. Sadly after a loss pregnancy isn't the same-there's always the fear of what if it happens again, but I've been desperate to enjoy my pregnancy as much as I can, however long it lasts. I'm 8+3 today. It's hard but I have managed it for the most part. I'm hoping that all will be well this time, but at least if it isn't I've let myself love my little bow and enjoy the time we've had together rather than letting the fear eat me up. Sometimes you just have to give in to tears and realise it's ok not to be ok. Big hug.

Thanks @Laney79 it's good to know there people who understand. I really hope we get our happy endings this time. X

@Laney79 it is so good to see you here! Congratulations!

Welcome @pancakes7 @kisses4u @frankiefumbles the anxiety is so hard. I tested every day for 7 weeks just to watch those lines darken and reassure myself that ‘today I am pregnant’ that was and is my motto in this pregnancy. I had an early scan at 7+5 and was measuring 6 days behind which shook me a bit even though there was a heartbeat. At 9+4 I was measuring 3 days behind and at my most recent scan I was 1 day behind. What I’m trying to say is with those early scans they are measuring something so small it’s not always accurate and just because you’ve seen a heartbeat it’s easy to find something else to worry about.

We finally told our close friends and family yesterday which I think has set me off again. I’m feeling allsorts of pulls and twinges at the moment and my back aches (Rationally I’ve probably overdone it over this weekend but it’s normal at this stage of pregnancy) problem is I’m not being rational so was convincing myself last night that now we’ve told people something is going to go wrong. Going to just have a slow relaxing day today and enjoy some time with DS.

@MisBit1 overall do you feel it was worth doing the earlier scan? I agree with your sentiments re measuring but I suppose I'm looking for validation that there is something there. It's tough though!

@Pancakes7 I'm pretty sad. It's not about the precious mc for me, more I just can't bear the thought of investing time into this to find it doesn't work. That of course is overly negative and I have to have words with myself to remind myself that three in a row is crazy unlucky.

@frankiefumbles I’d had an mmc and then miscarried naturally before the second scan to confirm it. I found that experience really traumatic as there was a complication that caused a lot of pain meaning I needed to go to a&e and knew if it happened again I wanted to have surgical intervention. (I wanted that straight away when I knew my pregnancy wasn’t progressing but the trust I’m under have a 10 day rule to confirm miscarriage). I went into all my scans expecting something to be wrong. I held my breath every time until they said it was ok. For me I wanted that early scan not just to confirm something was there but also to confirm it was a viable pregnancy at the earliest possible opportunity. I couldn’t trust my body to detect it on its own again.

I do think it was worth it though and I’d stand by that even if the outcome had been bad. I just don’t think anything is enough to completely wipe out that anxiety after a loss.

Understood. I feel the mmc are pretty tough. Each time I found out promptly but I totally see what you are saying. There is always the worry, especially as I'm not clear on dates, that they might tell me it's behind when it's not. But I think I'll try and hold out (this won't last long) hopefully until the 10 week to have the NIPT, but maybe I will treat myself at the 8 week if I feel I need assurance.

Sadly DH thinks the internal scans can prompt a miscarriage so I almost feel the only way I could do this would be to do it privately. He's not going to change his mind on it but he's not the one that has to deal with the day in day out worry in the same way. But then I'll always know I'd gone behind his back. I suppose I could say I'd go for an external scan and just miss out that it might have to be internal. Eek. I feel like I'm plotting an affair! I really want one but I don't want the finger pointed if it goes wrong!

@frankiefumbles I'm having a scan on weds at what should be 8+6...internal scans are traumatic for me but my nurse says there shouldn't be an issue seeing bubs at this stage externally. If all is well. So maybe wait till 9 weeks? Xxx

@Laney79 love it! Fingers crossed for you. And yes. I think that will be my goal. Getting to 9 weeks seems mad crazy but I'm trying to convince myself I'll get there! I'm feeling a bit excited thinking about it!!!

Lovely to see so many new names!!! Congratulations!
On the subject of early scans, I’m 11+3 and had 3 scans already. And I feel like
I want another one this week.
My last MC was a MMC detected at the 12 week scan after seeing a healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks so I too don’t trust my body and still don’t believe this pregnancy is going to work out.
Pregnancy after MC is hard, but it will all be so worth it xxx