Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

@shinyblackdog and @Maydot thanks for the replies. My 3 close friends at work already know. Wondering how to tell the rest. I thought maybe I could take in cakes, then if they ask what's the occasion, I can say I'm pregnant! But tomorrow lots of people are off then Monday is a colleagues Birthday, so he'll probably bring in cakes. I thought tomorrow we are playing children in need games, so everyone will be together for that, so I could try and say it then. But lots of people are off. Sorry for rambling. I just want everyone to know now but no idea how to say.

morning all.... 14 weeks today and I've woken up with an uncomfortable stomach. Like when I changed sides in bed it was uncomfortable and a little painful. Now I just feel uncomfortable has anyone else had this? x

@Dreaminofholidays it is probably your uterous stretching. They say you'll get round ligament pain. Lots of growing to do.

@Pancakes7 with DD i had told my manager and head of , then eventually I just sent an email round saying "some news" and that I was pregnant, and the month the baby was due. Just sent it to my team distribution list and figured any one who wasn't in that day would get the email on their return.

Thanks @awakeatnight. I think I'm kind of still feeling like, is this real? I wanted it so much after before... I'm in disbelief. I've been in protection mode for so long, its strange to try and just enjoy it now.

Know how you feel @Pancakes7 I felt exactly the same way. Needed a week to try and get my head around it before telling colleagues and even then felt a bit apprehensive for quite a while afterwards about telling people. I'm in nhs & department I work in is big so just told the team of colleagues it would have an impact on at a meeting we happened to have which was a couple of weeks after my dating scan. Bought in some jelly babies and celebrations to help try and convey the message too. I think just tell who you feel you need to and can always just let it filter out to the rest.

Well I've told them. My colleague was nagging me and I went all red, one girl just asked, are you pregnant? I was like yes... they all cheered and were really happy. A few people not in, so they will find out later from people I'm sure.

Ah @pancakes7 its happening! 😊 bet youre totally overwhelmed at least they will understand when youre not quite yourself. Im struggling to find different stuff to wear atm that isnt clingy without buying new cos you know our bodies have a really shit way of deveiving us sometimes

@dreaminofholidays I get a stitch like sharp pain in my side when I roll over at night. I remember having that in my pregnancy with DS so I think it's normal. Funny that it only happens when we roll over in bed! Catches my breath every time. I think we are starting to really stretch out now! I'm 14 weeks tomorrow!
@Pancakes7 glad it went well telling your work people! Mine all found out as news in our place spreads like wildfire! So I've not so much had to say much, just been getting lots of ppl congratulate me, which is nice.
I have a nice little bump now which I'm loving. It's a lot bigger this time. I was a good 20 weeks before I had a proper bump with DS, but they do say you show sooner with subsistent pregnancy's! I'm in over bump jeans now all the time (or good old leggings)

@Kisses4u and @Swisbest2 Thank you. I got my letter today. Screening is low risk/ negative! Time to get excited 😊

So question all ive got like a pointy stomach just at kind of belly button/ just below and like a tiny roundish rather than flat over pubic area is this bloat fat or what i should be expecting at 11w3d? Im trying to reassure myself 😒 AGAIN im so nervous about scan

If this is baby no. 1 then I'd say that all sounds normal @Swisbest2 you don't show so soon. Depends how slim you are and how much you work those abs! My friend didn't start showing until well after 20 weeks because she had great abs from all the spin classes and gym! My abs never recovered from DS so I've popped straight out 😆 a vow to work hard on them tho once I've had this baby as I want my body back to shape before I turn 40 🙀

Thanks @kisses4u yes no babies but 3rd pregnancy normally size 8 and toned(ish) just looks a weird shape basically im just scrabbling around trying to figure out if my pregnancy is going the same way as everybody elses at this stage because ive got no happy outcomes to compare it to if that makes sense?

@Swisbest2 I'm on my first so I don't know tbh. But everyone's bump develops differently and at different times. I'm sure all is fine.

So a friend had an mc too. We've not spoken about it much, only once when she was drunk. I messaged her just to let her know I'm pregnant. I said I'm around to talk. She's read it but no reply. I worry, should I have not told her? Feeling guilty.

Hello can I join ? I don't feel I'm positive enough to join the other antenatal threads

So at 10dpo I got a faint line on frer following by pink blood when wiped later on. After that brown spotting when wipe and a bit on panty liner up to 13/14dpo. I have been getting strong frer lines but the brown spotting has made me cautious.

Just about stopped and I travelled with my 1year old ds to Hong Kong ok pre planned trip to see friend.

When I got here the brown spotting started again. Two days now and seems to be on pantyliner more. Tonight not as much. I'm 4w and 5 and wondering if travelling just annoyed my cervix but I'm scared too.

I'm here for two weeks and I have a viability scan booked for the Tuesday after I return. I've no cramps which I know people say is a good thing but I've also googled enough to know to be cautious.

I'm still saying if I'm pregnant as can't really believe it will be ok yet...

Feel a bit lonely and scared especially out here x

@OneMoreWish could just be from implantation so try to enjoy your break. If it gets any worse though you may need to see someone out there. xx

@pancakes7 shell get back to you in her own time prob mixed emotions right now my sister was pregnant same time as me when i had mmc due sameish dates and was worried about telljng and honestly id started miscarrying at that point and got in the shower and cried so hard and jusg didnt know what to say. Took me a week to congratulate but thats all i could do. I kinda felt bit humiliated as it is her 4th and i cant even manage 1. I felt like an idiot for confiding all the gory details whilst she was happily pregnant again and rest of family knew. Anyway just look after yourself right now. Shell come around and believe me is very happy for you. Just takes time unfortunately.

Thanks @Swisbest2. I guess I was lucky as no friends were pregnant while I had mine. Although my DH's friends wife was pregnant about 9 or 10 weeks before me. I cried alot but I don't know her that well so haven't seen her or anything. I feel bad as I know how painful it is to go through. I just hope she has her time soon too.

Yeah @pancakes7 i am finding it easier now that im pregnant again. Im sure she will and maybe shell want to share her journey with you then and youll be able to give her some positive thinking 😁

@Swisbest2 Thanks for your replies 😊 I hope so. A mutual friend spoke to her and said she's ok. Just feeling a bit down. I think a few things that are difficult for her happened this time of year so this was maybe bad timing. But she has messaged in a group snap chat. I guess I won't expect a reply to me. I'm just trying to act normal and won't mention anything baby.

@Pancakes7 the week I had my tfmr I guessed my SIL was pregnant. A few weeks later she said she'd send me a pic of her 12 week scan. I had to politely ask her not to, I was in no way ready to see other babies' scans. Then I skipped the country for both Christmas and her due date (which coincided with, but thankfully just missed my birthday). I'm not proud of my behaviour but sometimes you've just got to do what's best for you. You did the right thing telling her, she would have found out anyway, but she'll be coping in her own way.

Thanks @shinyblackdog I know she needs time. I'm not going to take it personally. I do understand.

@pancakes 7 how are you feeling? Im ready to hibernate with the heating on and pjs lol x

@Swisbest2 I've got a bit of a headache today and yeah freeeeezing! Just on my lunch break. As soon as I get home it's pj's on! Lol Got an appointment with a consultant tomorrow. Hoping we'll get to see baby again but might not. What are you up to today? Feeling ok?