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231 replies

bubble99 · 22/02/2005 11:58

I am actually Bubble's husband but I'm posting this on her behalf as I know some of you have becomes friends with her during this pregnancy.

She went into hospital last week to have a standard induction. To cut a long and painful story short, some six hours later she was rushed into an emergency caesarian and two boys were delivered. Sadly, the second twin was still-born. We are very hurt and sad at the moment as there was nothing wrong with the health of the child. The, usually fantastic, medical staff made some bad decisions and it has cost our son's life.

The surviving twin has now come out of intensive care and is called Elijah, or Jah-Jah Binks to his brothers (8lb 1oz). The other twin is called Bo (7lb 7oz). The sizes give you some idea of why she went for induction.

She says she'll update you all when she comes out of hospital, hopefully by the end of the week.

One last thing: My views of medics have inevitably been altered by this experience. Alhtough we are blessed with some of the highest trained and conscientious medical staff you could hope to find, I would ask any of you to question them endlessly in the event of a complication during the pregnancy or birth. Find out EXACTLY what the problem is, what the possible courses of action or inaction are and why they have come to the decision they have made. They are the specialists but I feel now more than ever that as an intelligent lay person you should be at least able to know ALL the criteria they are basing their decisions on. We were given no warning, told that everything was just fine even though we now know that our babies should have been removed within the hour, not after six. Had the medical staff been more open about their thinking and decision-making process we could have two babies today instead of one. Put simply, annoy them senseless with questions and make sure their personal feelings are not affecting clinical decisions.

P.S. Thanks for all being such good friends to my wife (It keeps her of my back during the evening )

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 22/02/2005 11:59

I'm so so sorry.

Enid · 22/02/2005 12:01

Congratulations on your beautiful boy, and also I am so sorry

jessicasmummy · 22/02/2005 12:01

So sad to hear the news of your loss, but pleased you have one remaining twin to enjoy. Can't begin to imagine your emotions right now, but sending loads of hugs to both you and your wife xxx

Keane · 22/02/2005 12:02

I am so sorry xxx

lockets · 22/02/2005 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Xena · 22/02/2005 12:03

I am so sorry for you welcome to the world Elijah

JanH · 22/02/2005 12:03

Oh, no - how awful for you all, Mr bubbles.

Congratulations on Jah-Jah Binks and enormous sympathy on the loss of Bo.

nailpolish · 22/02/2005 12:05

welcome to elijah,

sorry to hear the news of little bo.

best wishes to you all and give bubble a hug

this must be such an up and down emotional time for you

popsycal · 22/02/2005 12:05

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy but very sorry for the loss of little Bo. Please turn to Mn for support in the difficult months to come if you need it - both of you.


MrsDoolittle · 22/02/2005 12:05

I read this with mixed feeling.
Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Bubble on the birth of Elijah. What a lovely name.
I am so sorry that his little brother didn't make it. I couldn't begin to imagine how hard that must be. My thoughts are with you x x x

JoolsToo · 22/02/2005 12:05

I'm sad and happy for you too! best wishes to bubble.

on the medics thing - I have to agree - on Xmas Eve my mother (80) fell from a ladder - A&E, x-ray sent home with a zimmer and told to weight bear (its only badly bruised) 2 weeks later they called her back - result? broken femur and knee metal, plate and 8 pins

NomDePlume · 22/02/2005 12:06

What a bittersweet post, MrBubble.

Congratulations on your new boys, I'm so very sorry that you can't bring Bo home with his brother, Elijah. I hope you can begin to grieve and recover from this in good time. xx

Dyzzidi · 22/02/2005 12:06

Thinking of you

myermay · 22/02/2005 12:07

Message withdrawn

LGJ · 22/02/2005 12:07

Anyone else crying as they read that beautiful eloquent post ??

Love to you all and God speed baby Bo.

spagblog · 22/02/2005 12:08

How difficult for you, my warmest wishes for baby Elijah (jah jah binks - bless) and all my sympathies for the tragic loss of his twin.

Demented · 22/02/2005 12:08

Congratulations on the birth of Elijah (lovely name) and very sorry to hear about little Bo.

Flossam · 22/02/2005 12:08

So pleased to hear of Elijah, a lovely name for a lovely little boy. So sad to hear of Bo. So sorry, sending hugs and thoughts to you and all of your family.

Flossam · 22/02/2005 12:08

LGj, yes.

Dyzzidi · 22/02/2005 12:10

I cried too

cazzybabs · 22/02/2005 12:10

I am so sorry for the loss of Bo. I am sat here crying - I can't imagine what you must be going through.

elliesmoomoo · 22/02/2005 12:11

Words cannot express how sorry I am to hear that. Hello Elijah and Sleep soundly Bo xxxxx

Titania · 22/02/2005 12:11

I don't know what to say....Im scared it will come out wrong....but thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. so pleased that you have beutiful little elijah, but so so so sorry for your loss of little bo. Love and hugs to you all. Take care x x x

soapbox · 22/02/2005 12:11

Congratulations on the birth of your 2 beautiful boys

It is sad beyond my comprehension that Bo didn't make it

Love to you allxx

Gobbledigook · 22/02/2005 12:12

LGJ - sobbing.

So happy to hear of Elijah's safe arrival, give him big hugs and kisses from me xxx

So, so sad and sorry to hear the news about Bo. I know he will always be with you all xxx

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