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Bereavement

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My son has died

207 replies

dandelionfluffy · 29/10/2026 20:14

On Sunday my gorgeous DS died aged 14. I was in his bedroom as he hadn't been that well in the night but I checked his pulse and breathing and lay down on the other bed. Two hours later I woke up and he was blue and stiff.

He had epilepsy but they need to do an investigation if a child dies suddenly so we had to be at the hospital all day answering questions from the police. They have now issued the death certificate.

I can't really think what else to say but I wanted to put something on here - this isn't my long term username but I lost my mum in July also and set up a new username. This is just about a million times more awful. It feels like it isn't the same planet as losing an elderly parent. Not even the same universe.

We are currently in negotiations about how he will be buried but we are churchgoers and we will have his service at our regular church. We do feel relieved that the funeral service will be comforting and we don't have to make too many decisions.

My DD is 12 and she is clearly trying to be ultra busy. She's been to stay with a friend for a couple of nights and is going trick or treating with a friend. She was supposed to be spending half term doing things with her brother. She says she doesn't want to be an only child.

We have friends around us, one friend came to stay for a couple of nights and we have people locally who support us. Some friends have chipped in to send us some Cook meals. Everyone is being so lovely. I almost feel like I haven't got enough to do but then I break down in tears over a text message.

OP posts:
TeenageRooster · 29/10/2026 22:52

I'm so sorry OP. What an unfathomable loss. He sounds like the most lovely boy. Love and strength to you all 💐

WaterlooHowDoesItFeel · 29/10/2026 22:57

I am so incredibly sorry. I think I saw your post on X also, your son looked beautiful and so happy in the photo you posted. It's so hard to find the words but take it one day at a time. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family x

spaghettiandicecream · 29/10/2026 23:07

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending much love and prayers

firsttimepregnanthelp · 29/10/2026 23:15

I couldn't read and run but also am struggling to find words to say. My heart breaks for you; I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and sending you love ❤️

AutumnMuse · 29/10/2026 23:16

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family love and strength x

LondonLass61 · 29/10/2026 23:16

I’m so very sorry for your loss x

Pennydoenstwhistle · 29/10/2026 23:21

I am so very sorry, what a loss for you all xx

Clearinguptheclutter · 29/10/2026 23:23

I have a son the same age

I’m so so sorry for your loss

whippersnapper55 · 29/10/2026 23:30

I'm so very sorry for your unimaginable loss 💐

It may be too soon now, but in a while you may feel like you need some support. There is an organisation called The Compassionate Friends, it is run by bereaved parents to support other bereaved parents and families. They were absolutely life saving for my family after my sister died - my parents made some good friends and found it very comforting being with people who really understood what they were going through.

https://www.tcf.org.uk/

Lindy2 · 29/10/2026 23:32

I'm so sorry for your very sad loss.

EnglishRain · 29/10/2026 23:36

How utterly devastating, I am so sorry x

Jeska7 · 29/10/2026 23:40

I’m sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine this. It sounds horrific. It’s lovely that you’ve got good friends staying and supporting you.

StockingsByTheFire · 29/10/2026 23:47

Oh, OP, there are no words.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I hope you find comfort in your faith, it will be so important you at this difficult time.

Thank you for sharing a little about him with us, he sounds like a wonderful boy. He will have known how loved he was.

LasVegass · 29/10/2026 23:56

I am so sorry for your loss.

LucyFreyaUrquhartDixon · 30/10/2026 00:00

I am so sorry for you and your family. Would it help at all to tell us all a bit more about him? What was his name? What made him really laugh?

ihaveafavouritecat · 30/10/2026 00:01

I’m so sorry that you have lost your precious boy. Sending you and your family, love and strength at such a sad time.

Waitingfordoggo · 30/10/2026 00:04

I’m so very sorry for your unimaginable loss.

MerylSqueak · 30/10/2026 00:12

How terrible. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Absolutely awful.

Nameshavebeenchangedtoprotect · 30/10/2026 00:15

I can't imagine your pain. A huge hug to you all. x
Flowers

Sober23 · 30/10/2026 00:15

So very sorry for your devastating loss and sending love. 🙏 💖

MyWildOliveGoose · 30/10/2026 00:20

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, sending love to you all, and big cuddles.

You sound like such a lovely family, your posts beam with warmth and love. I hope you can make some Lego flowers, if not though, that’s ok. Be kind to yourselves. 🫶🏼

HappyKatieA · 30/10/2026 00:22

I’m so sorry, I think you just have to take every minute at a time, there’s no right or wrong thing to do or feel. Such a sad loss.

acquiescence · 30/10/2026 00:25

I’m so sorry for your loss of your son OP. My son was just a toddler when he died in a similar way, I imagine some of the pain is very similar. Just heartbreaking to think of your son being a teenager. Sending strength to get through these unimaginable early months. Please do message if it would help at any point.

Apricotsocks · 30/10/2026 00:28

I am so very sorry for your loss ❤️

wynchinuptheclose · 30/10/2026 00:29

So sorry, sending you love and strength