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Bereavement

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My son has died

207 replies

dandelionfluffy · 29/10/2026 20:14

On Sunday my gorgeous DS died aged 14. I was in his bedroom as he hadn't been that well in the night but I checked his pulse and breathing and lay down on the other bed. Two hours later I woke up and he was blue and stiff.

He had epilepsy but they need to do an investigation if a child dies suddenly so we had to be at the hospital all day answering questions from the police. They have now issued the death certificate.

I can't really think what else to say but I wanted to put something on here - this isn't my long term username but I lost my mum in July also and set up a new username. This is just about a million times more awful. It feels like it isn't the same planet as losing an elderly parent. Not even the same universe.

We are currently in negotiations about how he will be buried but we are churchgoers and we will have his service at our regular church. We do feel relieved that the funeral service will be comforting and we don't have to make too many decisions.

My DD is 12 and she is clearly trying to be ultra busy. She's been to stay with a friend for a couple of nights and is going trick or treating with a friend. She was supposed to be spending half term doing things with her brother. She says she doesn't want to be an only child.

We have friends around us, one friend came to stay for a couple of nights and we have people locally who support us. Some friends have chipped in to send us some Cook meals. Everyone is being so lovely. I almost feel like I haven't got enough to do but then I break down in tears over a text message.

OP posts:
PrettyLittleRose · 29/10/2026 21:51

Oh wow @dandelionfluffy I'm so sorry. 😢 Hard to find words...

Sending love and internet hugs. Flowers 😘

ihatecoffee · 29/10/2026 21:53

I’m so so sorry to hear this.

My son also has epilepsy and I can feel your pain. SUDEP is something always on our minds

Much love to you and the rest of your family xxxx

marmitegirl01 · 29/10/2026 21:54

You’ve had lots of support here and it sounds like you have strong community around you. But if you need additional support please reach out to SLOW( Surviving the loss of your world) CBUK ( Child Bereavement UK) SUDC (sudden unexpected death of a child) or your local Children’s Hospice may be able to offer ongoing bereavement support.
With best wishes to you all. Go as gently as you can x

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 29/10/2026 21:56

Oh OP how heartbreaking

Biggest 🐻 hugs ever to you

I hope you have lots of real life support to get you and your family through this xx

FloofyKat · 29/10/2026 21:58

Goodness, what a terrible shock for you all. Do you have wider family and friends around hou to give hou much-needed support? Hopefully your church family will also rally round.

Sending massive gentle hugs 🫂

KermitsABadInfluence · 29/10/2026 21:59

From one bereaved mum to another, I am so sorry.

I wish there were words to take away even a little of your pain 💐

I do hope this helps a little with lego a bit though (pics may take a second)

If you feel able to share the exact sets he has then Im sure a few of us can come up with something better.

My son has died
My son has died
My son has died
vladimirVsvolodymr · 29/10/2026 22:05

God bless you as you mourn, may he comfort you and grant you peace that passeth all understanding. RIP to your darling boy ❤️

MomOfBirmingham · 29/10/2026 22:06

My thoughts are with you @dandelionfluffy .

To lose a child is something I can't comprehend - in these circumstances even more so. I also stay with my boys when they're unwell, I can't imagine how you felt.
I'm so pleased to read that you have support around you and your faith.

In Scouting, when we lose a fellow member we say they have Gone Home. I find it a comforting thought.

whatwasthatnoise · 29/10/2026 22:07

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have a good support network around you, I'm sure you'll need to lean in to them in the coming days/weeks/months. Thinking of you and your family.

mammalion · 29/10/2026 22:14

Oh my goodness OP. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss.

Squirrelsnut · 29/10/2026 22:20

I'm.so dreadfully sorry. How tragic and devastating. Sending you strength. Xx

ExpectMore · 29/10/2026 22:21

Sending my condolences. This must be terribly difficult. You seem to be handling it much better than many could which I’m sure is an inspiration to all

JustaDomperignon · 29/10/2026 22:21

I am so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through xxx

Rituelec · 29/10/2026 22:23

I am so sorry OP xx

FireEater · 29/10/2026 22:25

dandelionfluffy · 29/10/2026 20:44

I don't think it's going to be possible to make flowers out of the existing Lego but we will have a think.

I am so very sorry for your loss dandelionfluffy. I have a similar age son and can't imagine the shock you experienced at finding him and your pain now. Sending peace and love to you and your family.

You said you've struggled to make flowers out of his lego but what about animals as you said he loved them too.

dontforgetme · 29/10/2026 22:31

So so sorry op, sending you all love and light x

ItsPickleRick · 29/10/2026 22:34

No words are adequate OP, but I am so very sorry for your loss.

I lost my little brother when he was a teen, over a decade on and it’s still incredibly painful but over time we have learned to be happy again, just in a very different way.

Pointynoseowner · 29/10/2026 22:37

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

HoobleDooble · 29/10/2026 22:38

I also saw your story on X today. My heart is breaking for you. Just do whatever it is you need to do to get through this xx

Newsenmum · 29/10/2026 22:39

This is heartbreaking and I have to words.
Im so sorry.

laughterworry0 · 29/10/2026 22:41

So sorry. Sending so much love xxx

cupfinalchaos · 29/10/2026 22:41

I cannot imagine your pain and my heart goes out to you and your family. Sending you strength x

BeverleyMakka · 29/10/2026 22:42

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️. Lego actually do flowers sets, I’ll try to link some but if it doesn’t work you can google ‘Lego flowers’ I’ve bought them from B&M and Argos in the past xx

Cattyisbatty · 29/10/2026 22:43

I am so sorry, what a shock and just heartbreaking.

i have epilepsy and I know what a cruel condition it can be - just so sad.

Wishing you lots of strength in the coming days and beyond.

momager22 · 29/10/2026 22:44

Oh op. Sending so much love and strength. It sounds like he had a lovely happy life with you.

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