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My son has died

207 replies

dandelionfluffy · 29/10/2026 20:14

On Sunday my gorgeous DS died aged 14. I was in his bedroom as he hadn't been that well in the night but I checked his pulse and breathing and lay down on the other bed. Two hours later I woke up and he was blue and stiff.

He had epilepsy but they need to do an investigation if a child dies suddenly so we had to be at the hospital all day answering questions from the police. They have now issued the death certificate.

I can't really think what else to say but I wanted to put something on here - this isn't my long term username but I lost my mum in July also and set up a new username. This is just about a million times more awful. It feels like it isn't the same planet as losing an elderly parent. Not even the same universe.

We are currently in negotiations about how he will be buried but we are churchgoers and we will have his service at our regular church. We do feel relieved that the funeral service will be comforting and we don't have to make too many decisions.

My DD is 12 and she is clearly trying to be ultra busy. She's been to stay with a friend for a couple of nights and is going trick or treating with a friend. She was supposed to be spending half term doing things with her brother. She says she doesn't want to be an only child.

We have friends around us, one friend came to stay for a couple of nights and we have people locally who support us. Some friends have chipped in to send us some Cook meals. Everyone is being so lovely. I almost feel like I haven't got enough to do but then I break down in tears over a text message.

OP posts:
Pearlstillsinging · 29/10/2026 20:48

I am so sorry for your loss. What a dreadful thing for you all to have to deal with.

bababamama · 29/10/2026 20:50

So sorry for your loss. Please do reach out to organisations that can support you and also your dd in the months to come and I’m sure your church will be there for you. For the middle of the night you can also find a listening virtual ear here. No words can ever be right to write here, but be assured you aren’t alone and people care, do tell your family and friends what they can do, yes meals, a listening ear or a bit of space, whatever you need

Threew · 29/10/2026 20:50

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you might struggle to go to the cinema tomorrow, just being together at home might be more comforting for you all

arnolds · 29/10/2026 20:51

I am so sorry for your loss, I honestly don’t have the words but I m thinking of you x

dandelionfluffy · 29/10/2026 20:52

@MysweetAudrina I am so so sorry to hear about your DS. I cannot begin to imagine. We spent 7 hours being questioned by police (or not allowed back in the house) and our DS had a pre existing medical condition known to cause sudden death.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 29/10/2026 20:53

I am so deeply sorry for your loss OP.

I am glad that you have the support of friends, and being a churchgoer will be a tremendous comfort to you in this time.

I do know that in time the years you had with him to enjoy the company of your gorgeous boy will be a form of comfort too. He was loved Op, and he will have known it.

Big hugs to your little girl, and to all of you.

DangerousThingsILove · 29/10/2026 20:54

I’m so very sorry. Thinking of you and your son.

Pieceofpurplesky · 29/10/2026 20:55

I am so sorry for your loss.

SquirrelGG · 29/10/2026 20:55

I am so very sorry to read your heartbreaking news. Sending you and your family my thoughts and love. xx

ImpatientlyWaitingForSummer · 29/10/2026 20:58

I have no words that will offer any comfort but couldn’t leave without saying I am so so deeply sorry for your loss. He sounds like the most wonderful boy 💙

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 29/10/2026 20:59

My heart is in the floor for you and your family sweetheart….RIP to your lovely boy..you’re all in my thoughts x

Wellbeing24 · 29/10/2026 20:59

I am so very sorry for your loss, thinking of you all. Sending love 💐 xx

Fuckitydoodah · 29/10/2026 20:59

I'm so very sorry for your loss OP. Absolutely devastating. Sending all the love to you and your family.

fiesta · 29/10/2026 20:59

So very very sorry OP. So awful.

shhblackbag · 29/10/2026 21:01

Heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.

ThisLivelyRaven · 29/10/2026 21:02

I have no words that will bring comfort but just wanted to say he sounds like such a beautiful boy and you sound like a wonderful family! Sending you all the love and strength 🌺

applecharlotte · 29/10/2026 21:02

I'm so sorry 💐

Shoobadadoo · 29/10/2026 21:03

I am thinking of you and your boy. You husband and your daughter too.

Wonderfulwonder · 29/10/2026 21:06

I could be wrong but I think you might be local to me.
If so, your son looked like such a lovely young man. I am terribly terribly sorry for your loss. It is unfathomable.

FloofTrousers · 29/10/2026 21:09

What a terrible loss, I'm so very sorry xx

Adele64 · 29/10/2026 21:09

I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss. Thinking of you and your family at this devastating time.

Having lost an amazing friend to SUDEP, totally unexpectedly, 4.5 years ago, her family and I still have such vivid, happy memories of her. With the benefit of hindsight, we now find comfort in the fact she was her lovely, vivacious self until the very end and didn’t suffer.

I hope you, your husband and daughter gradually find peace over time. You’ll never forget your lovely son. You’ll carry him in your hearts and think about him every day.

It’s wonderful you have good support. Hold each other tight. Take care. x

allthingsprettyinpink · 29/10/2026 21:13

So so incredibly sorry 💔

shellyleppard · 29/10/2026 21:14

@dandelionfluffy so so sorry to hear. Sending hugs 🤗 🙏❤️

EasternStandard · 29/10/2026 21:15

So heartbreaking I’m sorry

giraffesandpigeonstoo · 29/10/2026 21:17

I’m so very, very sorry.

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