Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

found my mum dead

420 replies

Tortington · 28/05/2007 06:32

came up to oldham and found my mum daed. there for at least a couple of weeks. house a state. i just looked through the window my son andhis GF were with us.

we ere in a crash on friday coming up - the poor GF has had her fill.

i had to give my BIL money for air frsheners. the police went in with masks.

the wholething is just horrific. as an only child its all down to me. and i can't seem to read simple documents. BH weekend isn't helping. mum had money in lots of different accounts, i can't find her funeral policy and she told me she had one. she has shares for fucks sake.

never sent my kids a birthday card. she set up 3 accounts un beknownst to me and had been putting money in. so that did mi head in, bibbin all o'er place, nothing is sinking in.

my dh has to come up and bring the kids, he's neer driven on a motorway and my car is a bit knacked.

i am relying on people to put me up and although i wouldn'rt rather be anywhere else in the world than at my cousins, she has two small children and no matter how many times they say it doesn't matter and don't worry i must be in the way. but my cous and my BIL have been good.

there is lots of fincancial stuff to sort out.

no doubt i'll be asking you.

the terrible thing when there is ( relatively) a sum of money to be had, nice people suddenly get nasty. we will see.

my in laws are being very helpful and have moved the bed outside and done horrible things to save me from facing them. but my dh is going to come up and at that point i think i will be coming back to you as a body of opinion - not emotionally, family or financially swayed.

i am living in a house with a four year old and a toddler.

OP posts:
Snaf · 28/05/2007 10:12

Custy, how awful, am so sorry.

Pan · 28/05/2007 10:13

Big strengths being sent to you, custy.

DANCESwithnewlytannedlegs · 28/05/2007 10:14

So sorry to hear this Custy, what a nightmare. You can be sure your mumsnet friends will be around to support you though. So very sorry again

edam · 28/05/2007 10:15

Oh God, Custy, am so very, very sorry. There are companies that specialise in cleaning after tragedies like this - maybe the police could put you in touch?

edam · 28/05/2007 10:20

Just thought, I've got a book called 'What to do when someone dies', the Which? Guide. If you'd like a copy, CAT me or if that doesn't work, CAT MI who has my email addy. Happy to send it to you. Or you should be able to order it from any bookshop (think WH Smiths stock the Which? Guides).

As someone said, first jobs are to register the death and get a certificate and get undertakers (guess you'll have done that last bit by now, though).

NoNoNoNo · 28/05/2007 10:32

sorry for your troubles Custy

Pixiefish · 28/05/2007 10:33

Sorry for your loss xx

motherinferior · 28/05/2007 10:33

Ohfck Custy, I'm so very sorry.

Flumpybumpy · 28/05/2007 10:36

So sorry custy

meowmix · 28/05/2007 10:38

so sorry to hear this custy.

GrandMasterHumphreyLyttelton · 28/05/2007 10:41

So sorry to hear this sad news.

My father died suddenly, at home, alone, though it wasn't me who found him.

Plenty of support to be found here, obv, have you found a solicitor familiar and experienced in probate law?

If you can, appoint someone who can deal with officials in the first person, and appoint someone to look after you too.

Horrible shock, poor you and your kids.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/05/2007 10:42

oh shit custy im so sorry.

What an awful shock for you all.

There are no platitudes that sound right atm......

UnquietDad · 28/05/2007 10:43

So sorry to hear this. Thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

dinny · 28/05/2007 10:43

so sorry, Custardo, thoughts are with you xxxx

Twiglett · 28/05/2007 10:47

Oh Custy I'm so sorry

WIll of course be here online to help in any way I can ...

be strong and don't worry about people being put out . .in times like these they get pleasure out of being able to help

NutterlyUts · 28/05/2007 10:51

Custardo, I'm sorry to here that

As many others have said, the MN community are here if you need us in any way

Mrbatters · 28/05/2007 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aitch · 28/05/2007 10:54

thinking of you custy, and wishing you strength.

WelshBoris · 28/05/2007 10:55

I'm gutted for you Custy.

I hope you get the support you need

I'll pray for your family today x

kiskidee · 28/05/2007 11:00

such an awful and difficult place to be. thinking of you and your family custy.

gingernut · 28/05/2007 11:03

Oh custy, so sorry . Will be thinking of you.

alibubbles · 28/05/2007 11:03

How awful for you all, take care, we are all thinking of you

chocolateteapot · 28/05/2007 11:03

So sorry to hear this, will be thinking of you all.

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 28/05/2007 11:05

thinking of you custy

Otter · 28/05/2007 11:05

is there anything we can do to help??????????????