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Bereavement

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found my mum dead

420 replies

Tortington · 28/05/2007 06:32

came up to oldham and found my mum daed. there for at least a couple of weeks. house a state. i just looked through the window my son andhis GF were with us.

we ere in a crash on friday coming up - the poor GF has had her fill.

i had to give my BIL money for air frsheners. the police went in with masks.

the wholething is just horrific. as an only child its all down to me. and i can't seem to read simple documents. BH weekend isn't helping. mum had money in lots of different accounts, i can't find her funeral policy and she told me she had one. she has shares for fucks sake.

never sent my kids a birthday card. she set up 3 accounts un beknownst to me and had been putting money in. so that did mi head in, bibbin all o'er place, nothing is sinking in.

my dh has to come up and bring the kids, he's neer driven on a motorway and my car is a bit knacked.

i am relying on people to put me up and although i wouldn'rt rather be anywhere else in the world than at my cousins, she has two small children and no matter how many times they say it doesn't matter and don't worry i must be in the way. but my cous and my BIL have been good.

there is lots of fincancial stuff to sort out.

no doubt i'll be asking you.

the terrible thing when there is ( relatively) a sum of money to be had, nice people suddenly get nasty. we will see.

my in laws are being very helpful and have moved the bed outside and done horrible things to save me from facing them. but my dh is going to come up and at that point i think i will be coming back to you as a body of opinion - not emotionally, family or financially swayed.

i am living in a house with a four year old and a toddler.

OP posts:
prufrock · 06/06/2007 15:46

Custy - you of all people do not have to worry about thanking anyone - you might have received a lot of support here and elsewhere but you have also given a lot of support to others when they have needed it - it's simply your turn to be the recipient for a while.

Glad you are managing to cope - though it would and will be alright if you can't.

Pru

Enid · 06/06/2007 15:47

Thinking about you, lots of love x Enid

fairyjay · 06/06/2007 15:49

Don't push yourself too much custy.

Whoooosh · 06/06/2007 15:56

Custy-have only just seen this as have been away too.
I went through something similar but I have to say without your (by the sounds of it) wonderful family.

So sorry but I really hope you get thorugh this with your wonderful sense of humour intact.

x

anorak · 06/06/2007 15:59

Custy you don't have to think about thanking anyone because you have a massive amount of credit in your mumsnet support account. Years and years of it. xxx

bundle · 06/06/2007 16:00

bloody hell custy, had missed this. thinking of you, xxxx

Piffle · 06/06/2007 16:07

I missed this too Custy, sorry about your mum and the circumstance, pretty grim, hope the kids are bearing up ok and things are sorting themselves out, you think you know all about bueaucracy but in death, you really learn what it is

Wishing you luck n love chuck

FluffyMummy123 · 06/06/2007 16:08

Message withdrawn

laundrylover · 06/06/2007 16:11

Just back from hols and seen this - how awful for you Custy.

On a practical level I am in Mossley so if you need me to entertain the kids or anything feel free - obviously I am a complete stranger but was thinking that all the family members may be busy with stuff. I really will help out if I can. Drop me a line through the March 06 post natal thread if you want anything doing....

Oblomov · 06/06/2007 16:15

I missed this too. Sorry Custy. How are you doing ?

Rhubarb · 06/06/2007 16:19

Thinking of Tinker too - hope you're ok.

mummyhill · 06/06/2007 16:22

Ohh Custy only just seen this as I have been off for a while, don't know what to say but couldn't read without letting you know I was thinking of you and your family at this terribly difficult time.

Califrau · 06/06/2007 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suzycreamcheese · 06/06/2007 16:34

custardo...
only read op and so sorry for you what a shit to have to deal with all that and the day to day on top...just to get stuff in order..

what a way to find her, am so shocked i cant say...

....afterthought.....sell the story ...script to mike leigh... ken loach or someone when its all done...

take care and take deep breath and get through it bit by bit day by day
... big positive thoughts ..to you and all custardos family x

sassy · 06/06/2007 16:36

God, Custy, how awful for you.

Stay strong. You sound like you are doing amazingly well.

(Its OK to collapse from time to time too.)

Rhubarb · 06/06/2007 16:37

She was thinking about having Queen's "Another one Bites the Dust" at the funeral!

We are also going into business selling funeral invitations "Please come to my funeral" etc with gift lists, we think there is a niché there!

twentypence · 06/06/2007 20:09

Can you make a list at John Lewis?

Porpoise · 06/06/2007 20:14

Missed this.
But sending love and courage, Custardo.xx

ScummyMummy · 06/06/2007 20:18

love you, custardo and am so glad you are about, rhubs. Let me knoe if a softie londoner can help out in any way shape or form

Spider · 06/06/2007 20:31

God Custy I have just found this. I'm sorry. What a shocker. You seem to be getting on with things. I guess you have no choice but to crack on.

I'm thinking of you. If you fancy a drink or a bit of time out just shout.

SunnyDelight sends her love too. She emigrated to Oz today!

As for clearing the house, take your time. Do you have anyone to help or support you? I only say this because my mum and I were in a right old state when we went to clear my grandmothers place out. It was very tough. My mum cleared some drawers of papers and stuff quickly to get it over with and they went in the rubbish. This was years ago and she still regrets not taking the time to look through it as there were things (letters, photos etc) of real sentimental value which were never found and may well have been in there.

Love and luck. xx

littlepicklesmum · 06/06/2007 21:18

Sounds like you are doing ok today. We are still thinking of you, Hope you are managing to get stuff sorted.x

MABS · 06/06/2007 23:02

big hugs babe xxx

eliselady · 06/06/2007 23:18

Custy, so sorry.

I had to do all the paperwork for my dad. Let me know if I can help.

suzycreamcheese · 07/06/2007 10:31

custy..are you there?

talcy0 · 07/06/2007 10:32

Been thinking of you Custy