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Bereavement

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found my mum dead

420 replies

Tortington · 28/05/2007 06:32

came up to oldham and found my mum daed. there for at least a couple of weeks. house a state. i just looked through the window my son andhis GF were with us.

we ere in a crash on friday coming up - the poor GF has had her fill.

i had to give my BIL money for air frsheners. the police went in with masks.

the wholething is just horrific. as an only child its all down to me. and i can't seem to read simple documents. BH weekend isn't helping. mum had money in lots of different accounts, i can't find her funeral policy and she told me she had one. she has shares for fucks sake.

never sent my kids a birthday card. she set up 3 accounts un beknownst to me and had been putting money in. so that did mi head in, bibbin all o'er place, nothing is sinking in.

my dh has to come up and bring the kids, he's neer driven on a motorway and my car is a bit knacked.

i am relying on people to put me up and although i wouldn'rt rather be anywhere else in the world than at my cousins, she has two small children and no matter how many times they say it doesn't matter and don't worry i must be in the way. but my cous and my BIL have been good.

there is lots of fincancial stuff to sort out.

no doubt i'll be asking you.

the terrible thing when there is ( relatively) a sum of money to be had, nice people suddenly get nasty. we will see.

my in laws are being very helpful and have moved the bed outside and done horrible things to save me from facing them. but my dh is going to come up and at that point i think i will be coming back to you as a body of opinion - not emotionally, family or financially swayed.

i am living in a house with a four year old and a toddler.

OP posts:
Tortington · 04/06/2007 23:55

i may well do pru - thanks will know more after solicitors tomoz.

OP posts:
welliemum · 04/06/2007 23:59

It sounds awful, no wonder you want to go home. Can you take time out, go and see a movie and switch off for a bit?

BreeVanDerCamp · 05/06/2007 00:01

Arse I never do this .......................

Well hardly ever..........{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}

Much love

LGJ

mamazon · 05/06/2007 00:03

oh custy
ive only just seen this. what totally shitty news. im so sorry.

im sure your running on autopilot for now, try and take some time for when it all hits you.

BeatrootandBenedick · 05/06/2007 00:04

custy - only just seen this - anything I can do - please shout.

How awful for you.

it happened to my sil father. awful

take care

Tortington · 05/06/2007 00:05

ta.

am going to see pirates of the caribean tomorrow.

kids are bored shitless. they are sick of small children.

registered the death today. still need to get hold of the priest to confirm details.

even the candles in church are 15p cheaper here at 10p a pop i pushed the boat out today and lit 3!

OP posts:
jampot · 05/06/2007 00:05

custardo - im so sorry for you. Ive been away and only just saw this.

Im happy to help too if you need it xx

MarsLady · 05/06/2007 00:06

careful now custy... don't want years of fiscal prudence going out the window!

Tortington · 05/06/2007 00:08

pmsl

OP posts:
BreeVanDerCamp · 05/06/2007 00:08

Custy..........

I will ask for your Mum to be remembered from the altar this Sunday. Get Rhubs to send me her real name.

Have visions of Deacon John doing the prayers of the faithful and coming to a dead stop...................when he sees a note requiring him to pray for the DM of Custy.

Tortington · 05/06/2007 00:09
Grin
OP posts:
jampot · 05/06/2007 00:09

i know its not the most helpful thing now but one thing less to do later and they take a couple of weeks to come through IIRC. cards

Im sure theres one we used called Allentown or something in Meath or Kildare - very reasonable. Used them for both mum and dad

MarsLady · 05/06/2007 00:11

Not wishing to hijack Custy's thread... but did you say prayers of the faithful??????? And in which way are you................. but no! 'tis not your thread!

Custy....babe.... will send you a few coppers so that you can be extravagant! Love and hugs to you dollface... though strictly speaking I probably shouldn't call you dollface.

Tortington · 05/06/2007 00:15

dollface is good - i;m liking that.

OP posts:
twentypence · 05/06/2007 00:28

Awful thing to have to do custy - and a good kick up the backside for those of us with only one child (or indeed any number of children) that we keep our affairs in order to spare them this.

My dad was a policeman (in Oldham funnily enough) and this was his least favourite bit of the job - and he must have had competition for that title, so I really feel for you.

If I can ask him any practical questions then let me know (twenty pence struggles for obscure way to be helpful).

Hope you get some sleep.

sallyheartshapedstrawberry · 05/06/2007 00:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pipsqueak · 05/06/2007 00:50

really sorry to hear this news ..thinking of you

tigermoth · 05/06/2007 06:57

custy, what a horrible shock for you. I am so relieved that your family are rallying round. I can well understant why you want to be back home where there's some normality again.

At least there is one advantage in being an only child - you get more control over the decisions big and small around your mother's funeral and financial affairs. As an only child, I was in this position when my mother died. Although I felt very alone, it was some small comfort to know there were no quarrelling siblings in the background. I have seen friends of mine with siblings having a terrible time getting through all the official stuff you need to get through after someone dies.

Thank goodness for cinemas at times of crisis! I hope you all managed to forget things for a while when you saw Pirates of the Carribean and get some more time out in the next few days.

Thinking of you.

tigermoth · 05/06/2007 06:58

tinker, thinking of you as well - very sad to hear your news.

jhyesmum · 05/06/2007 16:43

Custy - how awful for you - my heart goes out to you it really does.

My wonderful, beautiful mummy passed away two weeks ago from cancer - she was 60 years and one day (sods law).

I didn't find her dead, but we were with her when she died. Hurts like hell.

You try and keep strong my woman.

MarsLady · 05/06/2007 17:57

Hey dollface! How goes today?

MellowMa · 05/06/2007 17:58

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 06/06/2007 11:38

seen the priest today for the that thing i can't spell.

oldest son coming up today (hoorah) love him to bits, he loved his nanna so much.

still have to clear the house
had it valued
its on the market!
Seen the solicitor.

the days are going by so fast.

hopefully with some major custy arse kicking the houe might look "sommat like" ( oldhamese) by the end of today.

family and friends been great. sons GFs family even looking after our dog and feeding her. as well as looking after somewhat bereft 17 yo son for the last 10 days ish.

and all your support too.

how do i ever thank everyone.

OP posts:
GameGirly · 06/06/2007 11:53

I had no idea. I'm so sorry for your loss, Custy. Be strong.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 06/06/2007 12:05

Glad you're getting through it Custy