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Bereavement

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found my mum dead

420 replies

Tortington · 28/05/2007 06:32

came up to oldham and found my mum daed. there for at least a couple of weeks. house a state. i just looked through the window my son andhis GF were with us.

we ere in a crash on friday coming up - the poor GF has had her fill.

i had to give my BIL money for air frsheners. the police went in with masks.

the wholething is just horrific. as an only child its all down to me. and i can't seem to read simple documents. BH weekend isn't helping. mum had money in lots of different accounts, i can't find her funeral policy and she told me she had one. she has shares for fucks sake.

never sent my kids a birthday card. she set up 3 accounts un beknownst to me and had been putting money in. so that did mi head in, bibbin all o'er place, nothing is sinking in.

my dh has to come up and bring the kids, he's neer driven on a motorway and my car is a bit knacked.

i am relying on people to put me up and although i wouldn'rt rather be anywhere else in the world than at my cousins, she has two small children and no matter how many times they say it doesn't matter and don't worry i must be in the way. but my cous and my BIL have been good.

there is lots of fincancial stuff to sort out.

no doubt i'll be asking you.

the terrible thing when there is ( relatively) a sum of money to be had, nice people suddenly get nasty. we will see.

my in laws are being very helpful and have moved the bed outside and done horrible things to save me from facing them. but my dh is going to come up and at that point i think i will be coming back to you as a body of opinion - not emotionally, family or financially swayed.

i am living in a house with a four year old and a toddler.

OP posts:
Tortington · 03/06/2007 00:59

ta babe xxx

OP posts:
Aitch · 03/06/2007 01:01

night night custy, so sorry this has happened. will be thinking of you.

expatinscotland · 03/06/2007 01:01

Hope you can go home soon after the funeral.

I know it must feel very displaced and out of sorts on top of the grief.

mamama · 03/06/2007 01:04

OMG Custy, I have only just seen this. I am so sorry.

I am a million miles away so can't be any practical help I don't think, but you are in my thoughts.

ZacharyQuack · 03/06/2007 02:42

You and your family are often in my thoughts. Wishing you peace and comfort.

charleymouse · 03/06/2007 03:25

So sorry Custardo, thinking of you and your family.

PrettyCandles · 03/06/2007 08:24

Oh Custy, I'm so sorry to read this. Thank goodness for your cousin - at least takes one burden off your shoulders.

x

tigerschick · 03/06/2007 09:04

What an awful situation, I'm so sorry for all of you.

MABS · 03/06/2007 09:30

much love xxx

Blu · 03/06/2007 20:01

Custy - so sorry - what a horrible thing to happen.

I am pleased your family are rallying round...hold tight through the tough stuff - I'm really sad for you.

Enid · 03/06/2007 20:03

oh my god custardo. Lots of love and sympathy, keep it together girl as I know you will. Enid x

edam · 03/06/2007 20:03

hope you can get home soon, Custy. Glad family are helping.

Tortington · 03/06/2007 20:07

its like one bad thing after another my fecking car key snapped and now i dont think i will be avle to get home - my boss isn't goign to blieve it.

OP posts:
Dogsby · 03/06/2007 20:10

i am sure your boss will understnad
what a terrible tiring time you are having.

littlepicklesmum · 03/06/2007 20:12

Custardo - sorry to hear your really shite news, i can't really offer any new advice to what has already been said. You just go into auto pilot and seem to get things done... Be prepared for probate to take a while and double check what your solicitor does (unless you have a good one already) just knowing there are many people who are thinking of you and have had simular experiences is the only comfort at times. Local church groups are always around to help at time like this...
Good luck with it all.

Tortington · 03/06/2007 20:14

thx xx

OP posts:
burstingbug · 03/06/2007 20:16

Been following this thread, not sure what to say though Sorry.
Thinking of you and your family. xxx

edam · 03/06/2007 20:20

take care of yourself, Custy. When dh's father died - very suddenly - dh ran around being the 'coper', looking after his mum and sister (and me, I was bloody useless and sobbing even though it was his father, not mine). I did try to look after dh but he kept insisting everything was fine. So the shock didn't really hit him until six months later. Don't put everyone else first and you last, it's not good for you, or them, in the long term.

Wilbur · 03/06/2007 20:22

Custy - I am so, so sorry - I have only just seen this. What an awful shock for you, I'm not surprised you "just want to go home". I know it's unlikely you will be doing anything until after the funeral, but when the paperwork starts up, in case no one has mentioned this to you yet, Which? do a very good book called something like, The Which? Guide to Wills and Probate. I found it enormously useful after my father died.

Will be thinking of you on Friday. Take care. xxx

oliveoil · 03/06/2007 20:41

just seem this custy, can I help at all?

xx

oliveoil654@hotmail dot co dot uk

magnolia1 · 03/06/2007 20:45

Oh hun, have only just seen this. Thinking of you and your family xxxxxx

jalopy · 04/06/2007 09:31

Custy, thinking of you.

LilRedWG · 04/06/2007 09:34

Only just seen this Custy. Am thinking of you. xxx

littlepicklesmum · 04/06/2007 18:55

Hey. hope things are slightly better for you today.. Thinking of you .x

prufrock · 04/06/2007 19:04

Custy I've been away and have only just seen this - i'm so sorry. Hope you are coping, practically and emotionally. I'll ad my name to the list of people offering help - I'm still sorting out my grandma's estate so do have some recent relevant experience if you have questions.