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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

DS1 was born sleeping **trigger warning - image that some may find upsetting. Trigger warning added by MNHQ**

192 replies

Sosks · 30/08/2017 14:43

We lost our first child on Saturday and it still doesn't feel real.

We knew he had a lot of problems and we may have only had a short time, but we didn't get even that. I keep wondering if I'd pushed harder maybe we could have had a few moments.

I keep expecting to feel him kicking in my tummy and there's nothing I want more than to hold him in my arms again.

We're doing a lot better than I expected but I still feel so lost. I just want to see my son. It was also my first pregnancy.

OP posts:
ChristmasAccountant · 01/09/2017 16:32

What a beautiful little boy. I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart is breaking for you Flowers

Bisquick · 01/09/2017 16:35

He's beautiful Sosks and I'm glad you have an understanding funeral director. Do also make sure you're not neglecting yourself. You've been through a lot physically and need to keep your strength up and let your body heal. I hope you have some supportive people around you to help.

Remember that friends and family will likely be wanting to follow your lead on this and people have a misguided belief that it must be easier for you not to talk about it. So take the lead and talk about it whenever you want and trust that your loved ones want to be there for you.

And thank you for the kind thoughts everyone, I had so much lovely support from MNers on my earlier thread too, it was a deep source of comfort.

And sorry for your loss of your baby James too Daffodil Flowers

ButtfaceMiscreant · 01/09/2017 16:35

Thank you for sharing such a lovely photo of little Henry. He is gorgeous.

I am so very sorry for your loss. If I may, I will say a small prayer for him, and for those who have lost infants at birth or shortly after. They will always be remembered by those who knew them, and will always be with you. I hope you can access some support for yourself and your partner in the days and months to come, be gentle with each other and take as long as you need to come to terms with the loss of your dear son. Much love Flowers

DumbledoresApprentice · 01/09/2017 16:36

He's beautiful! So sorry for your loss. Flowers

mistermagpie · 01/09/2017 16:37

Gosh I'm so sorry for your loss. There are really no words but I'm thinking of you and your family.

Little Henry was beautiful.

I hope it's ok to say but my friend had a full term still birth about ten years ago. She has photos of him on display in her house and speaks of him often. Her two other sons know that they had a brother and how special he was. I just wanted to let you know that you can absolutely keep his memory alive and keep him as a very special member of your family in whatever way you are comfortable with. None of her friends or family will ever forget him.

Hugs to you all Flowers

MrsMozart · 01/09/2017 16:39

A beautiful boy xxx

SandysMam · 01/09/2017 16:41

A beautiful beautiful boy. I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm happy you knew his face, he will be with you forever Flowers

TwitterQueen1 · 01/09/2017 16:42

Henry looks to peaceful and beautiful. I'm so sorry you lost him before you had a chance to get to know him. Thank you for sharing his photo.

ferriswheel · 01/09/2017 16:43

I am so sorry for your loss. He is beautiful.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 01/09/2017 16:43

Thank you for sharing beautiful Henry with us Flowers

Bitchfromhell · 01/09/2017 16:43

Beautiful boy. So sorry for your loss. Keep chatting here if it helps. Flowers

KnitFastDieWarm · 01/09/2017 16:45

What a beautiful baby Flowers congratulations on such a perfect boy. All he ever knew was love and safety inside you Smile

Ollycat · 01/09/2017 16:45

What a gorgeous boy Henry is. I'm so sorry for your loss. Flowers

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 01/09/2017 16:46

The picture made me cry. So perfect. Heartfelt wishes and thoughts for you and your partner. Flowers

GaryBarlowsTaxReturn · 01/09/2017 16:47

He is such a gorgeous boy OP. I am so sorry for your loss xxx

NewTownVelocity · 01/09/2017 16:48

What a perfect little man. Thanks for letting us see him and know him. Little Henry, sleep well now.

Hugs and strength to you OP Flowers xxx

Musicalmistress · 01/09/2017 16:53

What a beautiful boy! He'll be forever in your hearts x

vinoandbrie · 01/09/2017 16:55

Oh what a gorgeous boy, what a gorgeous son. I am so sorry for your loss. All the love. I'm so sorry Flowers

LizB62A · 01/09/2017 16:56

You poor thing, he's beautiful

Hugs xx

GoodStuffAnnie · 01/09/2017 16:57

He is totally perfect and wonderful and beautiful. Sending thoughts, prayers and love. xxx

FrancisCrawford · 01/09/2017 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Neutrogena · 01/09/2017 16:58

It may not feel real for a while.
Take care of yourself - please put yourself first now and do what you need to do.
Never ever apologise for feeling a certain way.

teaandakitkat · 01/09/2017 16:58

He's lovely. Look at all his dark hair. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
Will any of your family go with you to see him?

Tiredemma · 01/09/2017 16:59

Henry is a beautiful little boy

So sorry for your loss. You sound incredibly brave.

RJnomore1 · 01/09/2017 17:00

He's just lovely.

Life is so unfair Flowers

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