DS1 was born sleeping **trigger warning - image that some may find upsetting. Trigger warning added by MNHQ**

[Sosks]

We lost our first child on Saturday and it still doesn't feel real.

We knew he had a lot of problems and we may have only had a short time, but we didn't get even that. I keep wondering if I'd pushed harder maybe we could have had a few moments.

I keep expecting to feel him kicking in my tummy and there's nothing I want more than to hold him in my arms again.

We're doing a lot better than I expected but I still feel so lost. I just want to see my son. It was also my first pregnancy.

He is absolutely beautiful, OP I am so truly sorry for your loss.
Sending lots of love 💙

What a beautiful boy. I truly am sorry for your loss xxx

God bless little Henry, what a nice name. He's gorgeous x

He is beautiful. I'm so so sorry for your loss x

What a handsome boy- thinking of little Henry tonight. Be very kind to yourself OP

your son, Henry, is absolutely beautiful

I lost my first dd 11 years ago. She, too, was stillborn. I have gone on to have 4 dds now and we talk about our eldest dd regularly and she has a very special place in our family.

Do lean on SANDS for support when you're ready. If you decide to have another baby, they also can provide support for future pregnancies. Wishing you peace xxx

Your Henry is a really handsome wee chap.

My mum lost two babies full term nearly 50 years ago, before I was born. I've always known about my two big brothers and she still talks about her love for them and how huge a loss it was for her and my dad as a young couple. You'll always be Henry's mum just as she was mum to her two boys. Sending love and thoughts. X

Handsome Henry! What a gorgeous baby he is.

He's beautiful. Sleep peacefully, little Henry.

So Beautiful.

Sending you Strength 💐

I'm so sorry you've lost your beautiful boy x

He is gorgeous. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I can't even comprehend.

Oh, Sosks xxx. We lost our daughter to SIDS six years ago. The pain and loss are horrific but it gets more bearable with time. Lots of love to you xx

That is a beautiful photo

He is such a sweetheart. Hugs to you and your DP

Henry is beautiful I am so sorry you are going through this. We lost our little girl at 40+5 two and a half years ago now. It still hurts, somedays more than others but the panic and the rawness is no longer there in the same way.
You will find your own ways to keep him and remember him in your lives. Little chinks of light in photos perhaps that you symbolise as him for example.
I have a half pendent around my neck the other half is with my little angel. My side says daughter, hers says mother. My eldest daughter kisses it every night before she goes to sleep as a way of sending a kiss to the little sister she loves so much.

Please be gentle with yourself. This sorrow born out of love is a new part of you which you will learn to live with but it takes time.

Little Henry, like all of our babies gone too soon knew nothing but love. In a world such as ours they are perhaps the lucky ones. Imagine knowing nothing but love in your whole life. You can see it etched on his perfect little face.
My thoughts are with you, and all of the other parents on this thread, I hope our babies are playing together happily until we can snuggle them once more.

Your little boy is absolutely beautiful.

I'm so sorry, I've been in your shoes and it's indescribable

Sosks I know this thread sort of stopped, but I thought about you and your sweet boy many times over the weekend, and you are still in my thoughts. Absolutely no need to respond if you don't feel like it. Just wanted to send some love and care.

Beautiful beautiful Henry.

oh sosks Henry is beautiful. I am so sad for you loss. My first son was born sleeping. We knew he was poorly too but it wasn't thought to be life threatening.

I think we may have been on the same antenatal group this time round.

I don't know what to say but i just wanted to say i am here if you want to talk. The early days are horrendous xxx

Oh he's so perfect, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be going through

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy Henry. My heart goes out to you and his father. What a lovely photo of him, thank you for sharing it with us. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing how well your body nurtured your beautiful first child.

He's gorgeous and absolutely perfect. Thank you for sharing the photograph.

Thank you everyone, glad I'm not just being biased about our boy's handsome face

Bit of a (long) update I guess. It's 2 weeks today since Henry passed away and we've got the date for his burial now. We're not having a full funeral service as OH only lost his mum last year and it would be a bit too hard for him, but we are having a burial service this coming Thursday.

I've to visit the funeral director on Monday to give them our special outfit for him and so we can see him again before the burial. Have to say I'm really looking forward to seeing his little face. Bought him a tiny baby outfit from Tesco yesterday as he was only just under 5lbs. Cute dungarees set with stars on it and matching tiny socks.

Doing well most days. Just not feeling particularly social, understandably, so haven't really responded to messages I've been sent. Though I have ventured out into town a few times so I'm not shutting myself off from the world.

Had a good cry this morning though as one of my cats broke a 'Mummy' mug my younger sister bought me, felt a bit like a horrible sign. Told my sister about it and she didn't even acknowledge the message, just replied about something else, that upset me a bit more. My Dad is being very difficult as well. He's being extremely intrusive under the guise of sympathy (background: he's emotionally abusive and a narcissist) and it's really stressing me out.

Thanks for the update @sosk he'll look lovely in that outfit.

I've been thinking about you and dear little Henry.

Sorry to hear your family are being jerks

Do you feel up to telling your dad to give you space? Could someone else do it?