Our special thread where we can be who we are. A thread to remember our children who are no longer physically here. Our 'safe haven.'

[LilyTheSavage]

This is it. Here we are. Thank you to Shabbs for noticing how far down the last thread we got.

Remembering all our precious children. Sending love to you all. This is just so wrong. I could howl to the moon tonight.

Thank you for starting the thread again. I have been finding the summer hard -- doing "fun" things with my younger son that I know my older son would have loved.

Howling sounds like a good idea.

Remembering our beloved Richard who would be 40 next week. Thanks Shabs. I have been trying to cope on my own for the last months sometimes it works but the pain never goes away I will never forget the love and support I gained from this precious thread xx

to everyone on this thread.

Never felt brave enough (have Dutch courage on board) to post on here.

I just want to send a kiss to my beautiful DS who would have been 5 yrs old this week. I miss him and what could have been. I will never know.

Shiney: It is hard keeping things somewhat normal for the other child(ren). I am dealing with behavior as well, and a break sounds great. Hope you get some time to yourself soon.

Lavandes: So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your son Richard.

Vals: Glad you posted ... I had been hesitant at first, too. "Talking" about things with others who have also felt this horrible pain does help. Sorry for the loss of your little boy. Thinking of you both.

Hi everybody.

Welcome to Vals. I'm so sorry about your darling boy. It's very much about the "what could have beens" isn't it.

hope you're feeling calm.

Hello to Violet - I'm thinking about starting a howling club. You're welcome to join. You need to bring . I'll start you off with a glass though!

Thanks for 'starting us off' again Lily - remembering Gareth & Matthew - 'my lads' - never, ever forgotten and loved forever and a day xxxx

Can I pop in, I belong here too and I am honoured to say Shabs is one of my very dearest friends who I have met once in real life. We met through the Compassionate Friends over 20 years ago, I wrote about the death of my son and Shabs saw my letter and wrote to me..............friends ever since and I love her to bits. My beautiful boy was three weeks off of his 15th birthday, his name is Matthew. He was never ill, he was at that time our only child. He walked into our garden and collapsed and died instantly, no one was at home. Four years later after 3 attempts at ivf I gave birth to triplets, a girl and two boys, weeks off of my 46th birthday! Our lives changed forever the day he died, the pain is still here, the missing goes on....as we do. Love to you all. xx

Hello and welcome to triplets. I'm sorry you're here. I hope this thread gives you as much comfort and support as it does me.

I'm just about to open a bottle of something delicious and cold and fizzy and will raise a glass to our darlings.

Can everyone just drink my allowance, I'm fat and fed up and my feet have doubled in size........good news is that they are going to deliver baby on the 17th August, strangely enough it's another big one!
I have restarted the counselling as my anxiety over babies arrival has gone through the roof, I'm just so frightened that history will repeat itself.

Hi triplets So sorry about Matthew. The suddenness can be so difficult.

cathpip Best wishes for a safe and smooth delivery. Thinking of you.

Lily Sounds good.

Shiney Sending positive thoughts ... re: behavior, I am always asking what is normal, what is just the way DS is, and what is grief ...

Morning girlsxx

Hiya Trips - good to see you here - except I wish there didn't have to be a thread like this on MNet. Your post made me snotty cry. I value your friendship so much xx

To all who just read and all who post. May you and those dear to you forever remember the loved ones who passed way too early.

I've been absent for awhile just being alone and getting on with things was needed for awhile.

I will happily share what I have done based on the behavioural problems my DS had at the passing of my DD. I will PM you soon. Please note it took help from professionals to hp me understand what I needed to change to help him but it has and it's working.

I know the stress of carrying on without a beautiful child beside you. I can still feel her hand in mine as I drive in the car or walk down the street. I wish she was here for me to hear her giggle.

I hope you all take care of yourselves. It is too easy to expect perfection from yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Hi just marking my place on this new thread. Will catch up on posts soon thanks x

Sorry, Shiney I'm finding I have a lot less energy for socializing, and a lot of things, in general now. Hiding out for awhile can be totally necessary. Hope all goes as okay as it can ...

Hi Mojito What beautiful thoughts ... so sorry about your daughter.

Just checking in... I can't get away from thinking about this time last year when we were living at the children's hospice for months watching my son deteriorate. There are no words to describe how much we miss our children are there.

Neverending No, there are no words ... thinking of you at this terrible time.

Today would have been DS2's last day alive. It's his second anniversary tomorrow. I can't quite believe that it's two years. I can't remember an awful lot about the last two years and feel as if time has just stood still. I feel as if I'm on a knife edge waiting for something to happen. Today is a day weighted down and dull and dark even though the sun is shining and the birds are singing. The WH Auden poem "Stop all the clocks" has it just right.

Walking beside you always Lily. 2 years is too long yet time seems to keep on marching far too quickly.

Lily My thoughts are with you on this sad anniversary. That poem has been one I have turned to often in these times.