o say how did we ever manage without...

[yondan]

counselling.

It does seem the 'in thing' at the moment. doesn't it? What ever happened to just getting on with life? stiff upper lip and all that.

It seems that the answer to every problem on here is "get counselling'.

um

have you ever had counselling?

I had an horrific experience when someone extremely close to me died in the the most awful dreadful circumstances

I had counselling afterwards, and it helped immensely with the post-traumatic shock

I expect you think I should have donned my Stiff Upper Lip, yes?

I think counselling has an important place for people who need to talk about their life experiences with people who won't judge them, or who know them personally. I've been through a lot in the last 10 years and could have used counselling but my "stiff upper lip" mentality wouldn't allow me to admit it. I congratulate people who actively seek help for their problems.

I too have had a recent need of intensive therapy and counselling and have found it very helpful.

Yondan, very often things seem like mumbo jumbo until you personally have need or see the benefit of them...try not to cheapen other's experiences and need through your own lack of knowledge

"stiff upper lip" generally leads to more suicides and misery - at one point in time the highest suicide rate was among older men.......of the generation that grew up with the "stiff upper lip" mentality.

Sometimes things are too big to just get on with - you need help. And if counselling helps you function in a way that is closer to normality, then I see that as being pro active with your own health.

A lot of people used to go to church in difficult times. This is particularly true of events like illness and death of a loved one. As many people no longer go to church, they get secular counselling instead of some visits from a vicar.

A lot of forms of counselling are now about teaching people various coping strategies. I think it might help if these coping strategies were more widely talked about before people got into crisis situations. If we were more open about mental health issues then people would have more knowledge of how to recognise them earlier and cope with them.

And a lot of people didn't talk to anyone about their problems, as it wasn't seen as the done thing.

I think it is a mistake to look back on some halcyon time, where everyone was ready with a cuppa tea and a shoulder to cry on.

My grandma was a classic example of someone from a generation that believed they had to 'put up and shut up' - she was a cipher, and I can barely remember her having any personality, because I think she had let herself die inside in order to get through her miserable day to day life - she would never have dreamt of making a fuss.

During the war, thousands of men and women suffered depression, domestic violence (on return from war), alcoholism and there were a lot of suicides. Just because it wasn't talked about as much doesn't mean it wasn't there.

'in thing at the moment'? Really? Um, afaik it has been pretty mainstream for about the past 20 years.

Perhaps we should go back tot hte good old days where men drank themselves silly while their wives downed valium at home.

I personally think counselling is best for people who would find it hard to say what they say to their counsellor to anyone else in their lives. I went twice (PITA of an alcoholic father), never found it that helpful really, found talking it through with my dh and my own family more supportive and more able to change my thinking.

Maamruby - A bad thing (really bad) happened to someone I know, in a November. The soonest he would have got counselling on the NHS was in May. Yes, really , almost 6 months after the bad thing. He couldn't really afford to go to a private counsellor but had to so he could move on with his life.

Oh shut up.

YANBU.

These pesky young upstarts with their new-fangled ways.

YABU, if it wasn't for counselling I would have killed myself a long time ago.

Just wanted to agree whole heartedly with SirBoobALot.

I would agree with the "oh shut up" of Sir Boobalot.

I currently have counselling and psychotherapy so ner.

If I hadn't I may well not be here at all.

op is a joke right ? like nicky2times says , its been mainstream for decades now.

without counselling i would still be suffering from my nervous breakdown after suffering 4 years of sexual abuse as an 8 year ols child,with a drunken father who beat me and a mother who showed little to no emotion.Also a mother who initially didnt believe me when i told her what had happened. Try coping with that one OP.I kept a stiff upper lip for far too many years and then i buckled under the stress of keeping it all to myself.
Counselling is another word for professional help. Maybe that sounds better .
BTW where has OP gone.Why do people post and never come back.
I am thrilled to the core that life has never dealt the OP with any cruel blows...... Unfortunately life can be pretty cruel.

Maybe the OP's ideal world would be alot of very depressed people barely coping with the horrors thsat can happen as a child.Or some zombified person popping AD's in order to cope with horrible memories.

i hated it but it helped me to talk some of hthe apin away. I found it awkward at first and just plain weird. But i had had to le my feelings out otherwise i would have just collapsed.

talk some of the pain away...sorry about typos...getting tired now.
The counsellor or counselling didnt help that much...it just helped me to realise that talking about it to anyone was helpful.You become your own counsellor in the end becauses all they do with their questioning techniques is to ask you 'How do you think you should deal with it' To me they were just someone who would listen...they had no answers or solutions and at times made me really angry...but it allowed me to express myself.They just helped me understand what had happened to me and told me it was alright to cry or get angry ...rather than to keep a stiff upper lip.

Awakenings - can depends on how long you had it for - with some types of counselling it can take 2 years or more to break down the barriers we have built up to prevent ourselves dealing with the crap. Only when the barriers have been broken down can the real work and help be achieved.

There are a lot of screwed up people who could have benefited from counselling but never had the opportunity - "stiff upper lip" rarely did anyone any good long term.

AND - what SirBoobALot said - short, to the point and exactly right.

OP - you sound like my brother - dogmatic and pig ignorant. People like you are the reason that some other people are still ashamed to go for the help they need.