o say how did we ever manage without...

[yondan]

counselling.

It does seem the 'in thing' at the moment. doesn't it? What ever happened to just getting on with life? stiff upper lip and all that.

It seems that the answer to every problem on here is "get counselling'.

I have to say I am torn on this. I say this as someone with PTSD and depression. I am not denying counselling and therapy is priceless in it's worth, but, sometimes people 'get therapy' for well...'life' really. I think the term depression is bandied about too much also. DH went to GP to get signed off really because of not coping/stress, he got a pack of prozac and diagnosis of depression. We both 100% agree that he was nowhere near depressed, which makes you wonder how many people are diagnosed with it that aren't really and knowingly getting diagnosed and in reciept of DLA. Filling out my forms takes me the best part of a week and at least the same again to recover from, but I guess you can't over analise people or doubt them because if they really are ill it's about the worst thing you could do. Catch 22.

I have never had any sort of counselling, and not because I have a stiff upper lip mentality, but because I've been lucky enough not to need it. There but for the grace of God, I reckon.

If we're willing to take asprin for a niggling headache, or put a plaster over a cut - i.e. deal with minor physical ailments without a second thought (pr any judgement), then why shouldn't those who need to, deal the same way with both minor and major mental ailments?

I couldn't think of anything worse than talking my problems through with complete strangers......That's probably why I've suffered from depression in the past and have panic attacks and sleep disorders. If I was the type to talk openly I would definitely have counselling and in response to op's question, we didn't manage in the past. We killed ourselves, got hooked on strong prescription drugs given by ignorant doctors or became mentality ill and thrown in asylums.
Would you prefer we revert back to those days? Stiff upper lip is all good and well for minor problems but bigger problems cause mental illness if not dealt with.

I mean mentally ill, not mentality ill

Thank you to those of you that have contributed with sensible replies. Its a shame that there are a small minority of bullies on here who think it is ok to resond with f^ck off, which isn't acceptable.

I must admit the last few replies have made me think about my statement. Who the hell am I to look down my nose at those that have counselling following such trauma, for example, cancer etc. I'm afraid that having read Janet Street Ports article in the Daily Mail, I am in full agreement with her. JSP accepted that depression is a terrible illness, but was questioning just how easy it was to label people when it wasn't always the case.

have rushed this reply so am aware its not that articulate.

I didn't respond with 'fuck off'.

I just took the piss.

My dad would have totally agreed with the OP. He had no time for anyone he thought of as 'do-gooders'. Unfortunately, because he had so little insight into why his own life was miserable he just drank, picked fights with my mum and passed his misery on to us, his three children. My mother would also have been very dismissive of 'counselling' or, as she would call it 'washing your dirty laundry in public'. They had a miserable marriage, we had a miserable childhood. Luckily for me I discovered the benefits of counselling/psychotherapy and I have drawn a line under their crap parenting so that I can give my own family something different. Hope that's OK with the OP.

Did you ever think, OP that the stiff upper lip approach meant that depression was very rarely diagnosed properly...perhaps more people had it than was reported, so now that it is a bit more recognised/'socially acceptable', it just appears that more people suffer with it?
Additionally, someone doesn't need to be depressed to seek counselling...who are you to judge those who want an objective ear to sort out something difficult?

I don't condone bullying, but you were being a bit unfair.

Someone saying fuck off is not bullying. It's rude, but what did you expect? This isn't a theoretical discussion for many people. It's deeply emotional.

I respect the fact you have come back somewhat thoughtfully, though

yondan that much is obvious

"I think I have acknowledged that in some extreme cases, it is necessary to have counselling. However, just because one feels fed up doesn't necessary mean that one requires extensive therapy. Ffs, however did we earn the right to call ourselves Great Britain."

You just don't stop with the offensive comments do you? I'm glad the internet ate my just typed out response to you, it was far too nice.

So only extreme cases right? And you're going to judge whether it's extreme enough are you? Also, with mental illness do you believe people should wait until their problems are "extreme" before getting help.

Shall I give you an example of one of my friends? Then you can tell me when she deserved counselling

When she was 13 she felt down a lot of the time, and felt bad about being overweight. Help her now?

By 15 nothing has changed. Help her now?

By 18 she's bulimic and self harming. Help her now?

By 25 she's attempted suicide at least 3 times, one resulted in an ambulance being rushed to her work when she took an overdose on her break. Help her yet?

Do you not think that help at the age of 13 would have dramatically changed her life? It wasn't extreme then. But became extreme. Seeing as no one has access to psychic powers right now no one could have known, and subsequently she didn't get the help that could have dramatically changed her life.

IMO and IME not enough people go for counselling. Too many people are affected by the stigma that idiots like you spread. If someone feels they need counselling then they damn well should go. In the same way that if you feel ill you should see the doctor. You mental health is as important as your physical health, and should be looked after accordingly.

The stiff upper lip thing is a load of useless wank. It doesn't help the majority of people!

I think your OP is absoilutely dripping in nastiness and am not going to tiptoe around you because you've decided that swearing nullifies an argument.

As you said yourself "Ffs, however did we earn the right to call ourselves Great Britain" when idiots like you are around.

yondan,unless you have finances to go private.free nhs counselling is hard to obtain and generally has waiting list

but hey i think you are looking for a scarp and fancy rattling a few cages

i havent read rest of thread cant be arsed but i imagine you'll trot out some stereotypes about
pull self together
talk to friends/family
people should be less needy
blah blah

perhaps you have never actually been in situation of needing counselling?if it is undertaken by an accountable,registered practitioner then it can be v helpful

there are plenty quacks and new age shite out there so people need to research their practitioner and ensure they are reputable.
finding a registered counsellor/therapist

You see op, you have had some thoughtful and deeply personal responses, some people have been fairly blunt with you, because your post touched what is a very raw nerve for a lot of people (I think to call that bullying is to totally misunderstand what bullying is ).

But for the comment...

"Ffs, however did we earn the right to call ourselves Great Britain"

....well, I can't bring myself to tell you to fuck off, it's not me, but I am going to shake my head and say What The Fucking What!!!

Have asked for this thread to be deleted.

"Ffs, however did we earn the right to call ourselves Great Britain."

We invaded lots of other countries, killed their people and plundered their resources. 'Great' refers to area rather than standing.

Hope that clears things up.

Oh, and people(mostly women) who were 'feeling a bit fed up' used to drink, be treated with ECT, committed, lobotomised or ended it all.

Wimps.

people giving you a robust rebuke isn't bullying.if you belittle people experience and trample over the thing that may have helped them do expect them to tell you to fuck off

stigma and glib stereotyping about mental health is really damaging and cause a lot of anguish.remember this could affect you or your family.will you be so sneery then

time to change campaign- challenging stigma

Well said Scottishmummy

I told the OP to fuck off. I wasn't bullying and I never ever say this to people (once to someone in work) but this ridiculous thread deserved it.

As you can probably tell I have had conselling and cannot recommend it highly enough.

"if you belittle people experience and trample over the thing that may have helped them do expect them to tell you to fuck off"

Couldn't have said it better.

Yondan
Whatever turns you on my love

I'm sure that hazeyjane is more than capable of speaking for herself, but don't patronise her. Or anyone else.

Having trawled through this whole thread, I'm with Jamieandhismagictorch.

Delete this thread.

Leave people be.

Go find some other poor punter for your head-fuckery.

Nasty, nasty, nasty.

Let me just think about this. At no time have I personally attacked anyone on here, unlike the abuse I have suffered. If this thread is to be deleted because I have had a difference of opinion, then that is most sad. I'm not surprised though.

No, I have asked for it to be deleted because at no time have you responded to any of the long posts in any meaningful way. If you were to be thinking, you would not have posted in this way. Now you are playing the martyr. This is classic troll-type behaviour

But you have yondan, you've personally attacked every one on here who has had to go through counselling.

you have been derisory and glib,attacking treatment that works for some people

ease up on the poor widdle yondan,bullied by nasty mumsnetters.doesnt wash and its lame

seems you can dish it out but cant take any rebuke back

nice