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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

o say how did we ever manage without...

197 replies

yondan · 23/05/2010 19:16

counselling.

It does seem the 'in thing' at the moment. doesn't it? What ever happened to just getting on with life? stiff upper lip and all that.

It seems that the answer to every problem on here is "get counselling'.

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 24/05/2010 21:13

If its any consolation, I don't think anyone will have noticed...

scottishmummy · 24/05/2010 21:15

nah the spelling pedants will be salivating with joy at mistake.those spelling freaks love a mistake.gets dem all hot and just dying to point it out

tethersend · 24/05/2010 21:17

I just wanted a Freudian slip- thought I'd got one there, Jamie!

Jamieandhismagictorch · 24/05/2010 21:19

And now - to distract us: a song

mangoandlime · 24/05/2010 21:30

Ooh I love hoist by own petard. And how very apt.

yondan · 24/05/2010 21:34

PMSL.

OP posts:
TottWriter · 24/05/2010 21:36

OP - I have read through this thread, and I am saddened by your low opinion of those who seek counselling.

Following the First World War, it was this 'Stiff Upper Lip' mentality that sent my great-grandfather to a series of mental homes where he spent the rest of his life - over fifty years - because he had shell shock. The 'Great' Britain you long for failed him, and many thousands of his contemporaries.

Today, it is that same 'get on with it' attitude which I am constantly battling in order to get my partner the help he needs. Every time he encounters that approach - from the family you advocate talking to - it sets him back into a bout of introspective depression which comporomises his ability to fuction as a father, carer, and human being. I battle constantly to get him confident enough to confide in a counsellor, because he is unwilling to burden me with his own problems, including of course the strain of caring for me. As it is, he bottles up his problems and gets progressively worse, until I snap myself and we have a traumatic argument which vents his current issues but serves to initiate the next downward spiral.

Every time I think we are getting close to the point where he can begin to resolve his issues, he comes across an opinion such as yours and takes three steps back from opening up and discussing his problems. I suspect (though of course I cannot be sure) that many other people who seek counselling have similar battles prior to getting help from a prefessional who knows when to encourage someone to open up and when to step back and allow them to take their time.

Therefore, a topic such as yours, which questions their needs and advocates that they get a stiff upper lip or tell 'a mate' will obviously receive a lot of negative opinions, because of its potential for serious, long-reaching harm. There are more tactful ways to approach the theory that some people seek counselling for trivial issues, which would cause less damage to the vast majority of those who have had counselling who genuinely needed it, and approaching the matter in this way would have prevented the mild backlash you have experienced.

I hope that, should you feel the need to create a similar topic in future, you consider the potential impact on the people you will attract to the thread, and not cast them in such a defamatory light. Mental health is a serious and sensitive issue, and not one to be dismissed so lightly.

mangoandlime · 24/05/2010 21:45

This op person is a hack, or a wind up merchant.

Great post TottWriter. I'm not going to share any stories, but my family has experience, in the 60s of ect and more recently, counselling.

hazeyjane · 24/05/2010 21:52

Yondan, I wanted to come back at your witty riposte of

"Whatever turns you on, my love."

But I have just read Tottwriter's articulate and moving post, and feel that anything that I say will sound trite in comparison.

Surely you can't still think you have "won this debate", after reading such a beautifully written post.

yondan · 24/05/2010 21:54

Surely you can't still think you have "won this debate", after reading such a beautifully written post.

The word gullable springs to mind. Lol.

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 24/05/2010 21:57

Oh how very not surprising.

Tott - sorry that was a wasted effort - best wishes to you and your DP

TottWriter · 24/05/2010 21:58

Jamie - thank you! Though my PIL are moving closer to us soon, so I think I have my work cut out

scottishmummy · 24/05/2010 21:59

you got to up your game yondan your put downs are piss poor.

name calling followed by LOL doesnt constitute a witty riposte

try harder

yondan · 24/05/2010 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Jamieandhismagictorch · 24/05/2010 22:01

Have reported the thread again.

Kaloki · 24/05/2010 22:02

I don't often report posts but that was totally out of order! And totally uncalled for! You are a really nasty piece of work

Jamieandhismagictorch · 24/05/2010 22:03

she doesn't give a shit and it's a shame because people have spilled their guts.

scottishmummy · 24/05/2010 22:04

lame and obvious personal attacks,no substitute for intellectual discourse

think you are bit of an attention seeker.driven perhaps by low self esteem

wrinklyraisin · 24/05/2010 22:05

Yondan you really are out of order. Mental health is not something you can just "toughen up" and deal with. Sometimes you need real, tangible help in order to get your life back on track. Needing help is not a sign of weakness. Rather I see it as a sign of strength, acknowledging you are both in need of and worthy of help.

Kaloki · 24/05/2010 22:07

"Rather I see it as a sign of strength, acknowledging you are both in need of and worthy of help."

Definitely agree with you there!

SirBoobAlot · 24/05/2010 22:07

Yondan, fuck off now. "Weak"? You really are a piece of work, you know that? Go crawl back under your bridge, clap your hooves together, and disappear. Fucking twat.

hazeyjane · 24/05/2010 22:07

I've reported that post too, that is a horrible and personal attack - you should be ashamed of yourself.

KurriKurri · 24/05/2010 22:07

Yondan your ignorance about mental illness is truly astounding, but that does not excuse the vileness of your reply to Tottwriter's post.

tethersend · 24/05/2010 22:08

Or perhaps driven by being a bit of a massive cunt, sm?

Just13moreyearstogo · 24/05/2010 22:08

Tottwriter - thanks for your story. I hope you can ignore the OP's insults.

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