AIBU about unequal inheritance

[ShootingStarsRacingCars]

My mum and dad divorced when me and my brother were 12 and 10. My father went on to have 2 daughters with a woman he married a few years later. We didn’t see that much of our dad after that, just some weekends and a week in summer. As an adult I’ve seen him about 4 times a year.

He got divorced from his wife and apparently seen his other daughters about as much as he saw me. I’ve had no contact with his other daughters since I was about 35. No fallout, just nothing in common and a father who wasn’t exactly family focused.

My dad died recently. In his will he has left almost everything to me and my brother with only a small amount to his other daughters. I have no idea why as when I did see him, we never really spoke about them very much. His daughters have asked me and my brother if we will share our inheritance with them. We have said no, they’re basically strangers. I’m presuming there must have been some trouble between them and my father for him not to leave them anything. They are threatening ‘legal action’. We have had legal advice and the will is fine so they have no case.

We aren’t sharing but I’m curious as to what others would do or think of this situation. Do you think we are being unreasonable? I can’t imagine not leaving my estate equally to my children but who knows what was going on his mind or relationships. If my brother hadn’t been left the same as me, I’d have shared with him.

It is possible your father felt bad about the distress he may have caused in leaving his first family. He then spent his life prioritising his second family. Out of love, he remembered you and your sibling in his will. I’d leave it at that.

If I was already minted and didn’t really need it I would consider sharing. Otherwise no I wouldn’t . If it were to happen to me today in my current circs I would keep every penny. So what you want to do, it’s yours , maybe your dad knew he’d been a bit shit and this is his way of making amends .

If he left his other 2 children a small amount he obviously didn’t forget they existed . This was what he wanted .

I doubt they’d share with you if the positions were reversed. It sucks for them but you don’t really owe them anything. YANBU

I don't think you are being unreasonable on the face of it. If you aren't close, you won't know much about the relationship between your Dad and them and if they had a falling out. You can't also rule out the possibility that he already felt that he had given them enough gifts in his lifetime that he considered a living inheritance. The consequences of not "sharing" are that you annoyed someone you didn't interact with much rather than bringing strife into a close family dynamic.
It would also depend slightly on if it was a thousand or a million too. If they intend to go to court they could lose both any inheritance plus have tons of solicitors costs.

I’ll never understand those that don’t treat their children equally. It’s so very hurtful.

Saying this though OP, it wasn’t you that did the dirty on them so it’s not up to you to fix it. It is what it is.

Possibly, although I don’t think he prioritised anyone but himself when it came down to it.

YANBU. Keep the money. You owe them nothing.

When was the will made?

Well, he made a will and it reflected what he wanted presumably. And you have no idea if he had good reason to do what he did. Is it anything to do with what else you may all inherit? Are you unlikely to inherit much from your DM whereas they will inherit more from their DM?

2019

Don’t assume the will can’t be challenged: https://www.myerson.co.uk/news-insights-and-events/inheritance-act-time-bring-claim

Our mum is wealthy so we could potentially inherit a lot again. Their mum has already died. I don’t know if they inherited from her. Going on the area they live in and their jobs, they’re not well off, but I really don’t know much about their circumstances.

We’ve had legal advice. My father wasn’t from the UK and lived in his home country so this wouldn’t apply anyway. There is no legal issue. Thank you though.

My thread was more to ask about people’s general opinions on the situation and if they think we are being unreasonable.

Yes I think you are being unreasonable.

They are /will be struggling...

You say you're going to have large inheritance from your mum.

I voted YANBU but I wonder how you would feel if the situation was reversed - If your mother wasn't wealthy and had already passed away, and your father gave his money to your half siblings who have a wealthy mother?

Potentially. She may spend it all, get remarried and leave it to her new husband, it may all get spent on care. Who knows what the future holds

I would share the money equally with them and keep my side of the street clean. It’s the right thing to do.

However, you aren’t obliged to do so and I would understand if you didn’t.

There could possibly be a reason. My father biased his will a little in my favour compared to my brother. But he said he’d had to bail my brother out so many times throughout his life that he felt like he’d had his inheritance already.

Do the decent thing and share it out equally!

Sounds like he was a pretty absent father to all four of you. It's doesn't matter that you don't have much in common with them, they're equally his children. Plus you say they're not as well off as you. Plus you say your mum is wealthy, so you'll probably inherit again at some point.

I can't really understand why you and your brother wouldn't do this. To just leave it as it is would be selfish and greedy in my opinion.

I’ve no idea. My expectations of my father were always low so I don’t think I’d have been surprised. My brother said our dad’s sister told him years ago that his relationship with his other daughters wasn’t good but my brother didn’t take much notice. I presume there were issues based on that and him leaving them a much smaller amount.

Now we just feel like this isn’t our problem. We haven’t had a relationship with them for years. We invited them to some of our family occasions and they haven’t even bothered to reply.

I’ve already said we won’t be doing that.

did the other two get the house, you and your brother the cash assets?
either way i would leave it as it is and should you inherit again (you said you are positioned to inherit from your mom) should it be significant enough i would share slightly at that time.
there is obviously more to this that you are not aware of.
maybe the two are a product of an affair and not his?

Seems a pretty pointless thread then.

My brother thinks that is a possibility. Our father hated money being wasted and managed badly so I can imagine if he had given them money in the past which they have used badly, he may not have wanted them to waste more. Without getting in touch with more of his family and friends, I suppose we’ll never know and that isn’t something we want to do.